Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Workwear is much more of an issue for women than men

34 replies

Echobelly · 29/08/2018 11:01

Had a discussion with DH (which turned into a bit of an argument) where I was saying I was interested in the idea I heard that for women there is no ‘neutral’ outfit that won’t be judged in the workplace one way or another, whereas for men it’s pretty simple in most settings – suit = professional, casual = not trying enough/low status (unless it’s somewhere very casual). He got annoyed because he felt that he saw women wearing what they like at his workplace, whereas guys had to wear suits and the lack of choice pissed him off. I didn’t feel it worth replying that yes, lack of choice/expression for men is an annoyance, but it’s nothing like as bad as having your whole competence sometimes questioned on a small detail of your outfit as can happen with women.

Ask 50 people what they think about the likely work performance of a guy in a dark suit with a sober tie and probably all of them will say ‘He looks professional’ – ask them to comment on a woman in a suit and you’ll probably get a multitude of replies that might question whether she looks ‘distracting’, ‘frumpy’, ‘high maintenance’, ‘low self-worth’, ‘wallflower’ etc depending on some small variances. Yes, women in DH’s office may seem to ‘get away’ with more in what they wear in terms of not being disciplined for it, but maybe more of them are being judged unprofessional, unambitious, flirty etc because of their choices. Whereas men can know where they stand with what they wear, even if it's annoying that it's so limited.

DH suggested that surely ‘neutral’ for a woman would be a dark suit, white shirt and mid heel – I pointed out some people would declare that frumpy, anonymous, low-status, dull, that a woman who dressed like that was undynamic and unambitious. He really did not get it!
So yes, dress expectations for men are irritating, but they are pretty unambiguous and tend not to have serious outcomes, whereas women will always be judged and often taken significantly less seriously on tiny, everyday details of ordinary clothes in a way that will never happen to men unless they happen to be unusually flamboyant.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
NanooCov · 30/08/2018 08:27

I don't agree that men are not judged on their clothes. For context, I work in an investment management company in the City of London. We have a fair mix of clothing choices from relatively casual to ultra smart (both sexes). I have to say, whether the wearer is male or female, I honk their clothes do say something about them. Some examples spring to mind.

A younger person with an obviously cheap suit (H&M, Top Shop for example) I generally think they're not long out of uni, possibly still on grad scheme. They're clearly making an effort to appear "professional" but probably don't have much cash. They are probably not very experienced in their job yet.

A guy who wears brightly coloured chino type trousers and a rugby style top I tend to peg as a bit of a "hooray Henry" type. They've usually attended a "good" school and university. Probably been in the role a little longer than the above. Tends to fall into two categories - either very talented at their job but possibly not marvellous social skills. Or not very good at their job but have an over inflated sense of ego.

An older person with a clearly tailored suit and nice shirts (possibly with monogrammed cuffs). Been around for ages. Probably senior. Probably a pain in the arse. The female equivalent tends to be nicely tailored dress or shirt/trousers and heels.

I probably sound like a judgy cow but I do somewhat think that "clothes maketh the wo/man".

AllDayBreakfast · 29/08/2018 19:16

In my experience, however, it's usually other women who do the judging with regard to acting as the self appointed fashion police. Unless an outfit is really unprofessionally racy (e.g. excessive cleavage) or really frumpish most blokes wouldn't notice.

I'd also say that there are up and downs to both sides. Men have less agency in their choices which obviously 'safer' in some regards, but I remember working in an office with faulty a/c where it was 30c. The women were wearing light summery dresses and I was stuck there in a suit and tie with my shirt literally sticking to my back under my jacket. It was vile!

Echobelly · 29/08/2018 18:22

@TeiTetua - yes, that's it expressed better than I can put it!

OP posts:
MrGHardy · 29/08/2018 17:27

Except in the summer...

TeiTetua · 29/08/2018 17:03

Responding to deydododatdodontdeydo's messages, I think the truth is that for clothing in any kind of formal situation, men have easy rules to follow, but they are very rigid. Whereas for women, there's lots of choice but never a completely right answer, and the world is always ready to criticise.

(And that professor is in a position where he can do what he wants, as long as he decides not to listen to objections. Anyway, he probably thinks professors are meant to be eccentric.)

Finfintytint · 29/08/2018 16:46

We had unisex uniform ( apart from our hats) at work. The female trousers relied on a 1950's sizing where women had tiny waists and bigger hips. I have small hips, no bum but a thicker waist. I had to beg and beg to be allowed to order men's trousers.

SquishySquirmy · 29/08/2018 16:35

OOH yes, the PPE problems!
My company always provided me with boots that fitted, so that wasn't a problem, but my coveralls were always a bit odd on me - just baggy enough to make me look like a kid dressing up! Compounded by the safety glasses that were too big for my face (one size does not fit all). At least despite looking a bit daft this didn't cause any practical problems,

More of an issue was that I could never get gloves that fitted (sounds minor but made my job a lot harder) and as the smallest slicker suits available in the stores were "XL" I had to have the sleeves gaffa taped shut or they were useless. Having to remove the gaffa tape, leave the worksite, change out of work gear, and head into the accomodation unit to use the only female toilet took bloody ages too.

Lancelottie · 29/08/2018 15:37

Not Sheffield. And completely bare feet.
Oh dear.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 29/08/2018 15:31

Shorts with bare feet, by any chance, deydododatdodontdeydo?

Sandals I think. Even in winter. In Sheffield?

thurmanmerman · 29/08/2018 14:50

+1 for the website please!!

Lancelottie · 29/08/2018 14:50

Shorts with bare feet, by any chance, deydododatdodontdeydo?

Or are there two of them?

AppleKatie · 29/08/2018 14:46

I too would like this website for the magic suits please.

And yes OP you’re right!

bd67th · 29/08/2018 14:43

Oh, and those trousers with the built-in pouch for kneepads? In my whole life, I have had one style that fits properly. Most cut in the crotch, are too tight on the thigh, and too loose on the waist.

bd67th · 29/08/2018 14:40

Safety shoes: there are far fewer styles for women, they harder to get hold of (some catalogues don't have them at all) and they have pink on.

High-vis vests/jackets and H cup boobs don't mix well either.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 29/08/2018 14:09

Men are judged less than women of course, but I can think of many examples where men who step outside the box are judged.
A man I worked with, a professor, wore shorts all the time. It seemed incongruous to his professional status and he was ridiculed (behind his back, because he was y'know, the prof).
A man I worked with liked to think he was a bit of a bodybuilder. He wore ridiculously tight formal shirts that strained the buttons. He was ridiculed behind his back too.

UndercoverGC · 29/08/2018 14:08

Protective work uniforms have their own problems.
Take white lab coats as an example. Men's cut, straight up and down, is standard and readily available. I'm not much over five foot, and GG cup size. Standard lab coats don't fit me anywhere - shoulders, arm length, bust, waist, pockets, length. Safety shoes in size five can be hard to come by, or a scaled down version of men's which are altogether the wrong shape for me.
Cleaner's uniforms, which are the same thing but in coloured cotton, come in women's fit as standard. So if I choose to wear the protective clothing which fits my body, my colleagues get all sorts of messages about my being lower status from it. It is already difficult for me to be taken seriously as a petite woman, I don't need an additional visual barrier.

Echobelly · 29/08/2018 14:02

I think it is a very good point in that women have a wider variety of body shapes as well, and that makes there being a 'neutral' look much harder when one outfit can look very different on different shapes. eg, I have very small boobs, so I can wear something fairly low-cut at the neck and no one's really going to notice in a way they would if I had a 32Gs rather than 32As.

The article I originally read focused on women in the law profession, where they said dressing was a massive minefield.

OP posts:
SquishySquirmy · 29/08/2018 13:39

Babdoc Do you have a link to that website?? {grin}

Babdoc · 29/08/2018 13:37

It was never a problem for me- I worked in operating theatres, and everyone, male and female, consultant to porter, wore the same tatty cotton scrubs!
My DD is office based and she found a website that does made to measure trouser suits for women (with proper pockets - often missing in female ready to wear!), for less money than most high street ready made ones. She detests heels, so wears Doc Martens to work!

SquishySquirmy · 29/08/2018 13:33

Also socks.

If I wore coloured socks (or even black socks with a coloured band at the top only noticeable when sitting down), this would be considered quite scruffy/weird I think.

But this is considered fine for men in all but the most corporate workplaces.

SquishySquirmy · 29/08/2018 13:29

I think its harder to "get it right" for women.

eg, in my workplace the dress code was the smart end of smart casual. Everyone knew that for men (of all shapes and sizes) this meant smart trousers, smart shirt and non-trainer shoes, but no tie. If there was a meeting with clients, ties would be pulled out of drawers and put on to transform the outfit into "smart". Clothes were considered smart if they vaguely fitted the wearer, but it of course normal for shirts etc to sit more loosely on male torsoes, which gives them a larger tolerance.
No-one noticed if they wore the same/identical pair of trousers every day.

For women, the ambiguousness required a lot more thought. Even an outfit that would look smart on one woman might not look smart on another (eg a colleague often wore fitted shirts and smart trousers similar to the male uniform, but she was slender and tall. The same would look frumpy on me as I am lumpier and it wouldn't fit right). Loosely fitting (not baggy) clothes could be considered scruffy if not chosen carefully.

And it was harder to instantly "dress up" an outfit at short notice. I used to keep a couple of blazers and nice shoes at work, but still a lot more effort than stuffing a tie into desk drawer.

Generally, when unsure its better to err on the side of being too smart than not smart enough. But even this could get commented on...

What used to give me the rage is receiving/overhearing lighthearted comments along the lines of "you always wear that dress!" "Do you always wear black?"
....From men who wear the same bloody thing every day!

SweetGrapes · 29/08/2018 13:18

To me it looks like the women are having a mufti day while the men are all in uniform. They really need to break out of it.

OnlyObjectivity · 29/08/2018 13:16

(but it depends on context of course - I'm talking about when someone sees you in the street or on the tube)

OnlyObjectivity · 29/08/2018 13:14

Ifailed

Is it just confined to the workplace, or are women more likely to be judged by their clothes than men wherever they are?

Wherever.

In the outside world - apart from workman's overalls - mens clothes have two categories:

  • Smart
  • Not bothered

Neither are judged higher status than the other.

seafret · 29/08/2018 12:34

You have point. And depending on your figure, even a bog standard suit can look quite different of different women. It may unintentionaly enhance curves and sexual attributes on one woman or sit like a sack on another. Either which way will be noticed.