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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Stunning, brave translady is both stunning and brave

310 replies

CaitlynsCat · 28/08/2018 19:38

www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/leicester-news/decisions-led-dad-become-transgender-1944624

"As well as having made the huge decision to begin transgender treatment, Martin also decided that he would not hide any longer.

He would come out as a transgender woman - as Katie - in a way which was very publicly indeed.

Since then, he has been shouting his experiences from the rooftops via social media and local radio and – by and large – has received something of a hero’s welcome."

"Martin/Katie was not only heterosexual, he wanted a child.

He cut his hair, fell in love and the couple had a child together, who is the apple of his eye.

Then in May last year, Martin went to see a clairvoyant he had met at a business networking meeting.

“I went along for a reading because I’d never been to one and I was intrigued,” she says.

What she told him was that he needed to start a new way of being and said there was a part of him that had always been there but that he was not fully in integrity with."

"after that, my gender dysphoria increased dramatically – I was so desperate to identify myself I even Googled ‘what gender is Martin Neeves?’ ”

Desperate, confused and in turmoil, he joined a support group on social media and someone suggested he should see a specialist gender counsellor.

After four successful sessions, in which he says he "hit the ground running", he felt that he was "gender fluid" ("nature doesn’t do black and white, it presents a whole spectrum.")"

"Katie now says: “After counselling and working through therapy on how to identify your gender, I now know I am 70 percent female and 30 percent male.

"It was my fear stopping me from admitting I am actually a transgender woman.”

A second visit to the clairvoyant resulted in a four-hour clarification session using deep meditation and other methods as a way of encouraging and revealing inner truth, with all the answers coming from Martin."

"She looks wonderful and feels great. Her prescribed hormones have made her skin soft, and as a naturally slightly-built person, she has an enviable figure.

She counts herself lucky as many other transgender women are naturally of a heavy build.

Brave determination has paid off, she is happier and more relaxed than ever.

Katie’s name will not be considered for the long waiting list for the actual operation to make her into a woman sexually, until she has lived full-time for a woman as a year."

OP posts:
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JaneJeffer · 29/08/2018 13:08

"The clairvoyant told him that the spirit was suggesting that he should take time off, go for a long walk and be close to nature, ask for guidance and it would be given.
Katie remembers: “So I did that. I took myself off to Rutland Water last October and made it a bit of a route march – I was all kitted out, went at a hell of a pace and was really disappointed that no great revelation came up on that walk.
"I’d expected a lightbulb moment but none came at that time.”"
Those pesky spirits.

birdbandit · 29/08/2018 13:07

Vesuvia, I think they are going with the "Two Spirit" ideology, which is under Stonewall's Trans umbrella.

rainbowsandsmiles · 29/08/2018 13:06

I'm pretty on the fence with the GC stuff -it's this kind of nastiness which makes sure I will never be full blown GC. Katie has done nothing wrong. She's getting on with her life and she's happy. As rat said, debate and challenge the principles of gender. Attacking individuals is nasty.

Very well said to all of that.

birdbandit · 29/08/2018 13:05

The clairvoyant is a convenient way of allowing this individual, giving them "permission" to do what they already wanted to do.

Also absolves them from the decision making.

vesuvia · 29/08/2018 13:04

Quotation of the transgender person in the OP article - "When we are born we are given a gender identity purely on the appearance of our genitals."

This transgender person has an extremely off-message, niche interpretation of gender identity. Perhaps even a unique viewpoint on the subject.

The current dominant transgenderism ideology does not support this description of gender identity. The current dominant transgenderism theory is: a person is assigned a biological sex at birth, which is often done wrongly because incompetent healthcare professionals find it extremely difficult to pick a baby's correct position on the sex spectrum, based on the appearance of genitals. A person's gender identity is their innate sense of their true biological sex - if it does not match their assigned biological sex, the mismatch is called being transgender.

___

A fundamental point about gender identity is that it comes from inside the transgender person (e.g. from their alleged lady brain). Other people expect a person to perform a gender role based on genitals; it is actually a sex role, shown outwardly by performing gender expression; it is not gender identity. The emotional distress of a transgender person is caused by the conflict between the externally imposed gender role and the internal gender identity.

Gender identity stays secret and invisible unless it is expressed outwardly. Gender identity is about inside to outside processes and it is the opposite of the outside to inside process described in the quotation.

birdbandit · 29/08/2018 13:03

I think the clairvoyant bit is the least eye roll bit of the article.

If you wanted to run a business, and a clairvoyant said "noes the time to make changes", you would start that business.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 29/08/2018 13:02

They also tried google.

rainbowsandsmiles · 29/08/2018 13:01

Are some people deliberately misunderstanding?
I think it reads quite clear that on going to the clairvoyant, she'd always known there was something different from a very early age and had struggled through her adult life for example with her marriage, so when the clairvoyant said and I quote
he needed to start a new way of being and said there was a part of him that had always been there but that he was not fully in integrity with
it was already there inside and thinking about it "knew" this was what she should change.
I mean, if I went to a clairvoyant (not that I would, but you know) and they said the same thing, my head wouldn't even go to interpreting "that must mean I want to be a man then" - the idea and the struggles must already be there to start with!

birdbandit · 29/08/2018 13:01

"Shame" and age 3 are all part of the script. I've watched my STBXHs narrative change from "I have a sissy/humiliation/crossdressing fetish" to a more palatable script about gender feelings, over the last couple of years.

AsAProfessionalFekko · 29/08/2018 13:00

Bird - I hope the kids are OK.

TeaForDad · 29/08/2018 13:00

The interesting thing here is how this person has got so much attention for a minor activity. Looking on their Google they are getting award nominations and interviews from people bending over backwards to be "progressive" which is ridiculous and entirely game for discussion here

birdbandit · 29/08/2018 12:58

I have two meetings set up with my kids new class teachers next week, to prep them as to how to help support my kids, who are dealing with similar cockfoolery here.

My eldest, who we thought was doing ok, saw a pic of his father online, and it has set him spiralling again. It's not fair, the kids didn't ask to be born into lies and narcissism.

JaneJeffer · 29/08/2018 12:56

All I could hear as I read those quotes was Keith Lemon's voice Grin

seafret · 29/08/2018 12:55

My earliest memory is when I was about three, I preferred to wear my sister’s knickers, not realising this was anything to bother about – until mum found out and chastised me

So the little boy was shocked and shamed (narcisstically wounded?) by his mother. This is precisely the age that these kind of identity/ attachment damages occur and can have lasting pyschological consequences (obviously).

We understand now that a healthier reaction from the mother would have been to say, it is no big deal but you have ones that are a different shape for your boy's body. And not be be ashamed that her little boy likes different colours, or to be affected by her fear that he won't grow up to be 'a real man' or somesuch.

I think that misplaced and misattributed issues with shame are so deeply linked with trans issues, that from their/ a MH perspective, that they want the world to stop shaming them is kind of understandable. But of course the world is not necessarily shaming them, they feel deep internal shame that they externalise and misunderstand and the shame become obsession/ fetish/identity crisis.

That is not to say that everyone else has to faciltate their issues - the opposite. We cannot help but reflect reality to them and they need therapy not unquestioning validation. I wish the rest of the world would wake up.

How anyone can expect to be taken seriously when they think they ar 70% female and 30% male is beyond me. Men with an agenda will buy into this though.

Up for a women's award? Disgusting.

birdbandit · 29/08/2018 12:53

Are they not valid concerns?

Please remember this isn't an exposé, but an advert.

birdbandit · 29/08/2018 12:51

Kids in the playground taking the piss?

The child not being allowed to control how and at what pace their friends learn about his/her father?

The child's mental health?

The child's sense of the reality they had 8 months ago, compared to what everyone knows today?

birdbandit · 29/08/2018 12:49

Rat Is a regular, don't bother.

RatRolyPoly · 29/08/2018 12:48

So you see no safeguarding concerns for their child?

And you're -making this shit up out of nowhere reading this where?

littlbrowndog · 29/08/2018 12:48

Good

RatRolyPoly · 29/08/2018 12:47

Sure, whatevs littl.

birdbandit · 29/08/2018 12:46

So you see no safeguarding concerns for their child?

Because kids are resilient?

Have a trans Biscuit

littlbrowndog · 29/08/2018 12:46

U did just tell me what to do

Dont

RatRolyPoly · 29/08/2018 12:45

Will you also be policing those threads?

I express my views right across Mumsnet on all topics I feel inclined to post on.

birdbandit · 29/08/2018 12:45

Also, and again it is not a transphobic response, to view publishing and promoting lying to your partner, and talking about your soft body in the local press, as being a bit clatty.

That's a person prioritising their PR over any possible impact on their kids. Their child will read that one day.

I feel the same way about any individual who priorities promoting themselves, over the possible impact on their kids, because they want the validation of fame.

frogintheTyne · 29/08/2018 12:44

It's katies fault to accept the award.

Anyone with scruples would say thank you politely and then turn down and award which they knew wasn't appropriate or meant for them.

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