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Original poster

"Nursery tells couple to dress daughter more girly" news story & reaction

46 replies

seafret · 22/08/2018 09:18

Saw this just now in the Indy100 and saw it also reported in the Daily Mail.

www.indy100.com/article/gender-girl-boy-pink-blue-nursery-bow-viral-reddit-dads-parents-8499386

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6079053/Parents-send-baby-daughter-nursery-bow-gender-row.html

The couple report that they were told to dress the daughter "more girly" so that the other kids could discern her gender more easily (WTF?) - and they responded with a post-it of a bow stuck to her head, in disagreement. The 'problem' seeems to be that she wears some of their son's hand me downs so her clothes are tend to be blue/ neutral rather than pink.

Reported on Reddit I think so maybe be US or UK, not sure.

But what concerns me here is obviously the nursery's reaction, but also on the DM you get a lot of comments criticising the parents for using the child to make a point and to be trendy, and of course reinforcing that there is 'no harm in gendered clothing', but actually the parents are just staying away from stereotypical pink clothes for girls and not at all trying to 'trans' their daugher. They said they gave away pink princess type clothing they were given because of the message. They are GC.

More backlash against normal parents trying to be GC where they are seen to 'be as bad as' the trendy-woke-virtue-signalling types or the transing-their-child types, and conservative gender-preserving tradtionalists are perfectly aligned with the transgender-gender ideologists.

Exaxtly as wise women have said all along.

And really, that nursery ought to be closed. :(

YOU WILL CONFORM TO GENDER. Sheesh :(

OP posts:
Cyclingpast · 22/08/2018 10:10

Pink princess dresses are only considered "bad " because they are "very girly". If boys wore them they'd be fine.

The thing is, it's OK for girls to wear boys clothes, but not the other way round, because boys are valued more highly than girls. It's generally considered a positive to be a "tomboy", but not for a boy to be "girly". Sigh.

Original poster
seafret · 22/08/2018 10:07

Why are pink princess dresses so bad?

Er, am I on the Feminist board?

OP posts:
Cyclingpast · 22/08/2018 10:04

Why are pink princess dresses so bad?

Original poster
seafret · 22/08/2018 10:01

Again, so what should GC parents dress their children in?

The son's hand-me-down blue leggings have owls on them... I see less danger in that and in general with boys wearing blue, than with the message you get with girls wearing pink princess dresses and having to be pink and pretty.

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BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 22/08/2018 10:00

It was in Denmark, according to Bored Panda. Or, at least, they mention Danish nursery teachers so I am inferring that the nursery is in Denmark.

When DD was little she was my doll and I really enjoyed dressing her in pretty stuff. As soon as she learned to speak she insisted on boys' clothes only and people still assume that she's a boy now at 10 yo. She doesn't care, so I don't care and mostly we don't correct people because some people get a bit embarrassed by their mistake.

The funniest one was her football coach, she'd played for the team (all boys) for 18 months and he hadn't realised she was a girl until he was talking to DH and kept saying 'your son' until DH corrected him. Grin She does have girl's name, but it's unusual and foreign so doesn't give any cues to Irish people.

Weirdly, even when you tell people the sex they sometimes mis-gender. DS had a passport in his pre-adoption name because we took him on holiday before the adoption was finalised, and it had him as female. So we slightly changed his first name at adoption to one that was only male as his original name was mostly used by females. Obviously the passport admin person had just looked at the name and not all the bits of the form.

Cyclingpast · 22/08/2018 09:51

Yes Fatted, girls wore their brothers' hand me downs, but you'd never see an eight year old boy wearing his sister's hand me down dresses, would you?

Duckyneedsaclean · 22/08/2018 09:50

Is it weird their boy had such gendered clothing if they're GC?

Original poster
seafret · 22/08/2018 09:47

I saw an episode of Cagney and Lacey the other week where they went to choose baby clothes for a girl and all the clothes in the shop were pretty much the same. Neutral whites with green and sort of spring or autumn colours. Small embroidery.

No cartoons, no pink or blue. But this was portrayed as a quite expensive shop.

I have no memory of pink and blue clothes growing up, in the 80s. And photos of me and my sister show us often in primary colours, and brown of course! Same colours as the boys. And corduroys etc. But I did do ballet and that was baby pink and blue and it was the exception.

OP posts:
Fatted · 22/08/2018 09:42

What happened a few generations ago when kids always wore hand me downs?! I remember wearing my brother's old clothes all the time when I was little. Nothing to do with worrying about gender stereotypes etc. It was purely because my parents refused to spend money on more clothes when they had perfectly good ones. I don't recall being mistaken for a boy.

This must have common a generation or so ago. Was there more gender neutral clothing back then? Did people not just give a shit?

Original poster
seafret · 22/08/2018 09:41

Why is that Keefthebeef?

OP posts:
meditrina · 22/08/2018 09:40

The infant is not being misgendered. She is wearing older DC's hand-me-downs. Something which was entirely normal when I was growing up.

The polarisation of boy/girl items has increased considerably during my lifetime. As has consumption generally.

Original poster
seafret · 22/08/2018 09:40

Argh, *two, not too.

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Original poster
seafret · 22/08/2018 09:39

This isn’t really to do with trans, I agree that it has been a longstanding problem, but there is a clear overlap with some trans ideology. Too prongs of the same attack, but from either extreme'. A pincer movement on being GC.

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keefthebeef · 22/08/2018 09:38

It was in Denmark and the story gets less and less believable the more attention you pay to those involved....

Original poster
seafret · 22/08/2018 09:36

And why is it so important that anyone can tell the difference anyway?

The nursery workers know and she hardly will have any sex-based needs at this age.

So really, does it only matter because strangers and other children want to know how to treat her (ie like a girl)?

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Racecardriver · 22/08/2018 09:35

Sorry but little girl clothes are hideous. I would never say anything but I secretly judge parents who put girls in pink princess clothes. Who in their right mind would try to encourage that?

Tanith · 22/08/2018 09:33

This isn’t really to do with trans, it’s been going on for years in some schools, particularly very religious ones. I once cared for a boy of six whose mother was warned she was confusing her son by allowing him to wear girly things (his choice).

I also use a popular observation and assessment system that states (for generic use): “Note that male pronouns should be used, because “his” and “him” are distinct while the female equivalents are not”
No idea what that means!

Original poster
seafret · 22/08/2018 09:32

The baby girl is a baby - under a year I think (am not expert of aging babies), so I don't think she has any views on the subject yet.

I really don't think they parents are being trendy or virtue signalling, which I would disagree with. But I think they have been told that they should put her in dresses.

What can a GC parent do right nowadays then? Avoid both blue and pink at all costs?

OP posts:
QueenAravisOfArchenland · 22/08/2018 09:28

It depends if the child is getting upset my being misgendered or not.

She's a baby. She's not getting upset about it.
And I've certainly known people who dressed their baby boy in pink and floral babygros first bought for an older DD because why the fuck not, when the principal purpose of a babygro is to be puked and shat on?

Cyclingpast · 22/08/2018 09:24

If the parents had had a girl first and then a boy I wonder if they'd send him to nursery wearing pink....? And I also wonder why people think that boys clothes are more "gender neutral" than girls clothes? Like boys are some kind of standard.

Elementally · 22/08/2018 09:22

It depends if the child is getting upset my being misgendered or not. A friend of mine had a ds with very long hair in a pony tail. She cut it when he was 3.5 as he was getting upset about random kids in the park etc assuming he was a girl. The nursery may be asking the parents for this reason.