Personal problem,

this is a problem related to how men perceive women and how we are socially conditioned to compete with each other from a young age

So do you mean specifically competing for male attention? Or more generally?

The thing is, competing only happens if you join in. I can think of some women I've felt competitive with and it's been related to the situation and feeling like I've got something to prove. I can also think of situations where I have felt as though another woman feels threatened by me and is kind of competing, but where I haven't myself felt competitive because I've felt confident with my own position.

So the need to compete has really depended on how I feel about myself in the situation, if that makes sense?

Those have all been professional situations though and haven't involved competing for specifically male attention or approval.

I think there have been similar situations where I might have felt competitive with a man but there's been less of an edge to it, perhaps because it's felt like a less direct comparison?

Susie Orbach and Luise Eichenbaum have written some interesting stuff about female relationships which you might find useful.

Men behave very differently when no females are present.

o ok.

surely its a good thing for men and women to be friends and in communication with each other

It is good for friendship and communication because it helps combat objectification. It's them preferring that makes me cringe.

I have some very close friends who are male, as well as having female friends

I'm sorry you don't think women can be friends, OP, but I think you have just been unlucky. I think most women have some close female friends.

I always cringe when I hear women say that they prefer the social company of men. It happens entirely too often

why does it make you cringe? why does it happen to often?

surely its a good thing for men and women to be friends and in communication with each other

I always cringe when I hear women say that they prefer the social company of men. It happens entirely too often.

I don't want this for my daughter and I don't want to have to teach her how to manoeuvre around it all.

Is there some particular reason you do not want to teach your daughter "how to manoeuvre around it all"? That is part of our responsibility as parents.

The best thing you can do for your dd is in supporting her to have high self esteem and believe that she can achieve. If you diss the sisterhood and criticise other women you’re doing the opposite. Love her, encourage her to love herself and big up other women.

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences, OP. I've known some of that sort of behaviour but also lots of lovely supportive relationships with other women.

It's hard to know what to say - what are you looking for?

It's not been my experience so I can't give you any direct advice. I'm not sure I agree that what you've experienced is universal and commonplace. I'm sorry you've had those experiences with other women.