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Original poster

My husband just accidentally explained male privilege.

64 replies

SimonBridges · 15/08/2018 22:40

Please enjoy this analogy. He’s a lovely chap really but didn’t get my point.

DH is very tall. I am very short.
When we walk anywhere he strides on ahead. I am trotting along trying to keep up. Because he is in front of me he moves to the middle of the pavement meaning that I have to walk behind him going at the very limit of my walking speed just to keep up.

Today he said to me ‘why are you always three paces behind me?’
To which I replied ‘no, the question is why are you three paces in front’.

He didn’t understand.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 15/08/2018 23:40

As another short arse, I have observed the way it happens is bloke gets ahead, moves to the middle, then the woman is behind, as the op said, 'trotting to keep up'. Woman walks as fast as she can but drops gradually back a bit, then puts in a bit of trotting to catch most of the way up.

MrGHardy · 15/08/2018 23:37

Maybe OP could walk faster if they identified as being taller.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 15/08/2018 23:34

My Dh does this. I tell him he’s no gentleman.

TeiTetua · 15/08/2018 23:24

If it's a case of "When we walk anywhere he strides on ahead...Today he said to me ‘why are you always three paces behind me?’ " then it seems as if the situation isn't being fully explained.

I mean, if he really walks faster, wouldn't he always be getting farther ahead? Yet we're told that the distance is fixed, three paces. So it must be that this couple actually does walk at the same speed, but the man is always in the lead. So he must be slowing his normal pace or she's increasing hers, or perhaps both. So why can't they walk at whatever that compromise speed is, but do it side by side?

UrsulaPandress · 15/08/2018 23:24

Some folk will argue with anything

Theinconstantgardener · 15/08/2018 23:23

My dh also does this. Im petite so when its especially crowded where we are walking I get jossled alot and end up miles behind him. Sometimes when im really cross I stop- just to see how long it takes him to notice Im not behind him. < wonders if dh is actually trying to lose me on purpose>

MinaPaws · 15/08/2018 23:21

DH does something similar. A 'lighthearted' patronising chuckle if I ask him to reach stuff for me from shelves. Really irritating. He's a foot taller than me. Whenever we go to gigs these days, I make him crouch down to my eye level before he decides that where we're standing is just perfect. It really surprises him how much less you can see if you're a foot shorter.

TooDamnSarky · 15/08/2018 23:12

The analogy doesn't quite work because male privilege occurs even when women are just as capable as men.

A better analogy would be if you both had the same usual walking speed but you were lagging behind because you were carrying all the shopping or herding the children while he just walked on.

CertainHalfDesertedStreets · 15/08/2018 23:12

I like it. I'mean a vital worried by how many people don't get it though...

ALittleAubergine · 15/08/2018 23:08

Nice one op Grin

DH often asks me the same, why do I always keep walking behind him. We're the same height and build but he's a very fast walker, freakishly strong legs. I keep telling him he should just slow down a bit if he doesn't want me walking behind him.

BlackStar7 · 15/08/2018 23:07

Probably missed the point but...

My husband is taller than me (by 10ins) and I walk faster than him. He usually tells me (asks? Probably) to slow down. I don't usually because I'm impatient and I find it funny. Our youngest 2 children also walk fast (my fault) so find it hilarious too.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 15/08/2018 23:04

I don't like it.
It makes it seem like men are naturally better than women.

Aprilshowersinaugust · 15/08/2018 23:02

I am 5'4
Dh is 6'4
He complains I walk too fast and he can't keep up!!

UpstartCrow · 15/08/2018 23:01

Poor man. he'll never be a top show jumper, horse trainer, or be able to show dogs. All of those activities require you to be able to judge and adjust length of stride.

Original poster
SimonBridges · 15/08/2018 23:00

What? It’s an analogy. It’s not the only problem in my life, I just thought it was a nice analogy and I wanted to share it.

OP posts:
Original poster
SimonBridges · 15/08/2018 23:00

Okay walk faster yourself

This is the point. I can’t walk any faster. I am going the quickest I can go. This is my point. The question shouldn’t be what cab women do to keep up with men but what can men do to make sure women aren’t left behind.

OP posts:
thebewilderness · 15/08/2018 22:59

Leobynature
What prompted you to assume one or both of them are white.

Jupiter9 · 15/08/2018 22:57

Tie his ankles together.

Leobynature · 15/08/2018 22:57

Yes this is male privilege. And also white privilege! if the only disadvantage in your life you can refer to is your height and your husband asking you to walk faster you lead a very blessed life indeed.

Jupiter9 · 15/08/2018 22:56

Okay walk faster yourself

saniner · 15/08/2018 22:56

I like this analogy a lot. Makes sense.

Original poster
SimonBridges · 15/08/2018 22:55

I like being short and dumpy being referred to as ‘different attributes’.

OP posts:
Margaurette · 15/08/2018 22:55

Excellent way of explaining it!

I hope he's worked it out now...

thebewilderness · 15/08/2018 22:55

Speeding ahead is rude enough but moving to the center is a male dominance display.

Original poster
SimonBridges · 15/08/2018 22:54

I do tell him to walk slower, but that’s not the point I am making.

OP posts:
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