Misgendering.

This isn't just about using the she / her pronouns for a transwoman or he /him for a transman. Pronouns aren't binary, there are a groing number of them.

Jess Bradley identifies as a non-binary transwoman. She also believes 'there is no such thing as a real woman'.

"The first time I changed the world was when I told my mates to call me she rather than he. I literally constructed a new world where its possible to understand myself as a genderqueer woman, despite being asigned male at birth simply by changing the language to describe myself. This is why language and pronouns are so important. Its about creating a world in which trans people are allowed to exist"
Jess Bradley, 'To My Trans Sisters'
edited by Charlie Craggs (publ Oct 2017)

thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3325623-Jess-Bradley-a-government-advisor-on-womens-rights-suspended-by-NUS-over-indecent-blog-Part-iii

Masons won't mind being misgendered when they're called Brother, when they transition.

It is always all about obedience training.

What other reason could there be for someone who is obviously male, and presenting as male, requiring 'they' for instance. Its absolutely a power trip and utterly narcissistic.

I think because it's easy to avoid? If you don't know if someone's a boy or girl then ask their name instead of saying sir/miss? I knew a girl called Morgan... No idea if she was a boy or girl for a whole year before she told us she was transitioning from man to woman! No one asked because it seemed rude to ask someone what gender they are! As a woman I would be upset if someone thought I was a man... Yes it's 2018 and it shouldn't matter bla bla bla but I like to think I look like a girl!

It’s also a feature of an abusive relationship that there are things that are practically impossible to get right all the time so you are always on the back foot.

I’m starting to wonder to what extent the idea that misgendering causes actual harm has been deliberately and very cynically cultivated.

I’m torn on this. I think people should have the names and pronouns they choose, and deliberately not using them is “going low” to quote the Divine Mrs M. But it is all part of the trans smokescreen. Mingendering=denying my existence because the person with those pronouns doesn’t exist any more=wanting to kill the person I am now=literal violence= death threats.

UpstartCrow

also having worked with people who Truely have narcissistic personality disorder and the damage that this can do to both them and those around them I find your comparisons to trans people make no sense. yes there are trans people with narcissistic personality trates but the too things are not linked. I'm sure you will disagree but blanket use of terms to sum up communities of people is never a good approach.

It is always all about obedience training.

This! And can be seen to be working on the unsuspecting woke, young adults, fanned by those who have something to gain by silencing common sense

misgendering is often not done deliberately and we can often tell that some will ignore it or not bother correcting usually if it is only in passing. if I'm going to see the person quite a bit I usually politely correct them and that's it they don't do it again. People that do it with intent and I have had this at work it is used to undermine the point I am making if it is with other people someone else will usually correct them or use the correct pronouns this as only ever happened a few times but the tone is very notably different. the worst time I have eclver had was when I was selling something and could not leave and the person continued even when corrected probably because they could as we could not leave this again I feel was about power at the end I was devistated and blamed myself for not standing up to him.
if poeple are doing it on here again it usually a mistake or a. one off or they are deliberately doing so to make a point there is again a diffence. but you tend to do it to people who are not on here and not the trans poeple that are which shows people do understand that it would been seen as personally trying to undermine them.

It is always all about obedience training.

Traditionally deliberately misgendering people in the classic sense is done to put people down. When you call men women you're devaluing their status - as men (superior) When you call women men you are pointing out they're not performing femininity properly.

I can understand how people would then think that when people misgender trans people the intention is the same - to belittle - rather than because they genuinely didn't know and grammar functions on a subconscious level

To a narcissist, being invalidated is as bad as death.

This might be of interest;
thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/

1. Gaslighting.
2. Projection.
3. Nonsensical conversations from hell.
4. Blanket statements and generalizations.
5. Deliberately misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity.
6. Nitpicking and moving the goal posts.
7. Changing the subject to evade accountability.
8. Covert and overt threats.
9. Name-calling.