Playground sex assaults ‘are becoming an epidemic’

I'm not so sure about single sex schools. It may be ok for the years when they are in school but it doesn't prepare either sex for when they leave school and have to deal with the other sex

Do boys and girls not mix and interact outside of school? Ive known plenty of people who’ve been educated in single sex schools and not one of them has any issue dealing with the be opposite sex. What a bizarre thing to think.

Obviously this^ is not quite on a level with rape and serious assaults, but I have a feeling this lad will end up going much worse than just lifting dresses and attempting groping. It breaks my heart that girls have to put up with this, and are almost blamed by the teachers.
Also, luckily, this lad is going to a different school after the holidays. Luckily for my daughter and girls in her school, unluckily for girls in the school hes going to. Hopefully the teachers are better equipped to deal with him, where he ends up, as the ones at DDs school seem horrendous

My daughter is just going into year 1. We were called in recently about a boy keeping lifting her dress up in the yard and touching her..these kids are 5. The teacher kept saying that kids are just curious and such, and that boys are worse and yes 'boys will be boys' and then finally..said maybe the issue would be solved if we sent DD in in trousers instead. that was an interesting conversation/argument, DH had to calm me down a few times as I kept almost shouting at the teacher. Seems boys are enabled from a very young age, and i think while yes, curiosity is normal, there may be something going on at home for boy to be so..sexual at such a young age. But apparently there are no concerns and the girls should modify their behaviour to avoid his behaviour.

The website yourbrainonporn.com has some good info and stories

I think sex education needs to get a lot more into the ethics of porn, consent and some of the physiological consequences of watching porn on boys

Young people will watch it, penalizing parents won't help. Telling boys they run the risk of developing ED and not being able to enjoy actual sex seems like it might be more effective.

I think porn and porn inspired sex acts should be treated as a public health issue.

As well as ED for boys there are the consequent MH issues for both sexes and physical damage from rough and anal sex.

I hate porn.

So my point is, that in a secondary school in particular, it's very unlikely that most members of staff would actually be told about sexual assault or rape.

So yes, they may well place a girl next to her abuser - each teacher has their own seating plans, which they change fairly frequently, so chances of it happeneing randomly are quite high.

If it's your daughter who's been attacked, be very clear about the steps being taken to protect her before sending her back to school.

I worked in a Primary school a few years back, where a Year 3 boy (yes aged 7/8) had girls the same age feeling each other up for his enjoyment, as well as touching them up himself. 2 of the girls came and told me, and I was horrified to learn that it had been going in the classroom, during teaching time, as well as at other times ( ICT being prime time, you can't see what all the children are doing).

I did all the necessary reporting, parents and SS were contacted, the boy was referred to the CAHMS, ( he was the youngest of several brothers, 2 of whom had acted similarly at school) but nothing was done for the girls.
I knew about it, the class teacher knew about it, obviously the safeguarding lead, but no other staff did. So that meant in any other lessons, or with any other teachers,( eg PE, supply, playground supervisiors) those children could have been, and were, put next to each other. It didn't help that that the girls all really liked this boy, and wanted to play with him. They were told not to, but
that didn't stop them, and really he needed 1:1 supervision at all times to stop him abusing the girls.
I told other members of staff individually if I could see they were going to be looking after that class, but SLT didn't warn everybody. I pointed out that anyone taking responsibility needed to know, but they didn't take any steps to deal with that.
I was left quite appalled at how unsupported these girls were, and how insufficient steps were taken to to ensure it couldn't happen again. Other staff members were upset when I told them informally that SLT hadn't seen fit to warn them.

I think I would be sending any female children of mine to a girls school.

(Late 90s btw)

bmjopen.bmj.com/content/4/8/e004996

BMJ article from 2014

Results Anal heterosex often appeared to be painful, risky and coercive, particularly for women. Interviewees frequently cited pornography as the ‘explanation’ for anal sex, yet their accounts revealed a complex context with availability of pornography being only one element. Other key elements included competition between men; the claim that ‘people must like it if they do it’ (made alongside the seemingly contradictory expectation that it will be painful for women); and, crucially, normalisation of coercion and ‘accidental’ penetration. It seemed that men were expected to persuade or coerce reluctant partners.

Conclusions Young people's narratives normalised coercive, painful and unsafe anal heterosex. This study suggests an urgent need for harm reduction efforts targeting anal sex to help encourage discussion about mutuality and consent, reduce risky and painful techniques and challenge views that normalise coercion.

I remember being convinced in to “sex” with 2 pupils (different times) in primary school. I had no idea what I was actually doing.

You’re only just starting to hear about it but it isn’t something new.

Similarly why in hell do school teachers, supposedly intelligent people who are supposedly highly vetted, need 'rules' or 'guidelines' to tell them not to put known rape victims in the same class as their known rapists?

Quite. But I don't even think this is new. Even in primary school (back in the 70s) I remember sexual groping and touching from boys, which was utterly ignored by teachers or put down to children messing around. And in secondary school it was even worse. There is a very lazy attitude amongst some teachers of "six of one, half a dozen of the other" or "children will be children" or "girls are egging the boys on" etc.

Very interesting and related links

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/aug/09/sexual-violence-india-rape-pornography

fightthenewdrug.org/a-heartbreaking-look-inside-a-uk-porn-recovery-center/

fightthenewdrug.org/get-the-facts/

fightthenewdrug.org/does-porn-really-decrease-rates-of-sexual-assault/

Just realised it’s 600 in 3 years - that’s still horrific

Namechangedtotellmystory

I had a similar experience at secondary school, but on a daily basis. I had to share the back seat of a taxi home with 3 boys who had 6 hands between them. One would hold me down while the other two shoved their hands into my bra, knickers etc. The male taxi driver laughed at them as he watched in the mirror. It started when I was around 14/15.

This was in the mid-70s.

Thanks for posting the whole article.

That is truely horrific.... 600 reported rapes in school a year?!!!!!??? And that is just the reported ones.

Why isn’t EVERYONE talking about this?! Why aren’t the media all over it and demanding the department of education taking immediate steps to address this?

And most importantly WHY aren’t these teenage sex offenders being punished? Why are they back in school like nothing happened?

I also don’t buy that “crying is foreplay” BS. Even toddlers understand innatley that someone crying means they are upset. My 3.5 year old DD always says “mummy why are they crying? Do they feel sad?”

This is about male entitlement. Through socialisation from birth.

I can absolutely understand the reasons for wanting to keep schools sex segregated. I will definitely consider it for my DD when she reaches secondary school age.

The trouble is that although it may protect teenage girls from the risk of assault from teenage boys at school, it doesn’t teach boys how to interact appropriately with females. I can imagine that all boys schools are breeding grounds for increasing levels of misogyny and hyper male culture and without females around to counteract the dehumanising beliefs that males seem to hold towards females I can see how it might make the situation worse once these young men enter adulthood without the “pratice” of mixed-sex adolescent interactions.

It’s a problem that requires a multifaceted solution.

Beginning with parents and how they socialise their babies and toddlers. Teaching them about appropriate boundaries/sharing/taking turns etc

Then during primary school exploring themes of consent, bodily autonomy, friendships and early sex education

Then at secondary through all of the above and with an emphasis on relationships. What equal and respectful relationships look like.

I also think ALL schools should implement a zero tolerance policy on mobile phones. No phones allowed in school at all and any phones found to be confiscated at the start of the day and given back at home time.

This article seems to have been rewritten/expanded today under the title “Boy rapists expect girls to cry during sex”

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/boy-rapists-expect-girls-to-cry-during-sex-says-activist-7z7r06lqr?shareToken=8928bcad36be3bf2a2fb5a2b2277ada5

For me a very concerning line (obvs whole things is beyond worrying) is rape victims were being put back into classrooms with their attackers because schools were not given guidance telling them that this should not be done. Who needs telling not to force rape victims to be made to spend time with their rapist?

My next thought was who is David Sanderson and why is an arts correspondent reporting on this, then I realised it is a report of Laura Bate’s speaking at the Edinburgh Book Festival.

I'm not so sure about single sex schools. It may be ok for the years when they are in school but it doesn't prepare either sex for when they leave school and have to deal with the other sex.
I'd worry that the boys would have less 'normal' experience of females and be even more influenced by what they see on the internet.

However, as a teacher I have seen this trend over the last 10 years and agree it is very worrying. I think the problem with watching porn needs to be dealt with. Girls in some ways seem less able to deal with the boys and seem to write it off as 'banter' or 'flirting' whereas when i was young we would have given them a slap (growing up in 70's and 80's) . I think its being normalised for both sexes and its very worrying.

It's insane - the idea that anyone could think it was appropriate to put a boy who had sexually assaulted a girl back into the same classroom as that girl.

I'm just bricking it about trying to steer DS through puberty against the background of this sewage-filled tide of women-hating propaganda.

This is horrific.

I used to get a lot of snide comments about sending dd to all girls school. I feel vindicated and she is definitely happier.

And some TV doctors think we should show porn in school...

I noticed sometime in the early 2000s, possibly about 2005? how teenagers’ behaviour in breaks/lunchtimes in school was changing - lots of hugging and kissing, sometimes very exaggerated/sexualised, mixed and same sex. (Boys who would have previously been mortified at being described as gay happily saying “ but he’s my bum chum miss”.). Lots of sex jokes and sex talk, not in the least private.
I mentioned this a few times to SLT and suggested we return to the “no touching” rule of the past but they didn’t seem to see the problem...gave up in the end.

Flowers for Namechangedtotellmystory and all the other girls this has happened to.

And they wonder why we want our girls to continue to be allowed SEX segregated spaces.
Who in their right fucking mind makes a rape victim share a classroom with her rapist!!!!!!! Why aren't the boys being punished?

Similarly why in hell do school teachers, supposedly intelligent people who are supposedly highly vetted, need 'rules' or 'guidelines' to tell them not to put known rape victims in the same class as their known rapists?

YY. Major problem here.

I’m gobsmacked by this. I can’t even begin to articulate my horror.

It’s made my mind up that DD will be going to a single sex school though.

Those poor children.

Call me naive, but I don't quite believe that 14 year olds could buy the idea that it's normal for girls to cry during sex and that that's fine. They've had years of experience of people crying = people in pain by that point, how can it be overridden by a couple of years of porn? That isn't 'it's normal for girls to cry', that's very deliberate sadism.

Similarly why in hell do school teachers, supposedly intelligent people who are supposedly highly vetted, need 'rules' or 'guidelines' to tell them not to put known rape victims in the same class as their known rapists?

I'm definitely beginning to agree that all teenagers need single sex education. Either that or the whole concept of school needs to be looked at.