Trans sexuality

THis recently published book may be of interest Radardetector. The opening chapters are writted by Dr Az Hakeem a gender specialist.

Dr Hakeem discusses both sexuality and the different groups of people who are transgender.

Its very accessible and direct and intended for everyone including professionals.

there's some open access here:
www.amazon.co.uk/TRANS-Exploring-Gender-Identity-Dysphoria/dp/1911246496?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Does anyone actually know for a fact that most transwomen identify as lesbians or is that just an assumption made on the basis that alot of the vocal TRA identify as lesbians?

I can see how hard it must be for a person with gender dysphoria to go through a transition and then find that most people don't want to engage in a relationship with them, and the ones that do just have a trans fetish. But your can't force people's sexuality. There are lots of people that can't find partners for whatever reason, it's unfortunate but just the way of the world. A lot of disabled people also struggle to find partners but they're not shouting discrimination.

The worst thing about this is when kids are involved. An adult choosing to transition must be aware that this will dramatically reduce their pool of sexual partners.

But a 5-year-old being socially transitioned or a 12-year-old being given puberty blockers is totally ignorant of the consequences for sexual relationships far in the future. As far as I can tell, parents don't want to think about it or just don't care. Clinicians also seem to avoid this, perhaps because it's distasteful.

And of course puberty blockers presumably prevent sexual interest (as well as sexual function) developing, so the kid will never know what they will be missing.

@writersblock2 - I could have written your post practically word for word. Thanks for crystallising my thoughts around this so eloquently.

For many it appears to be entirely about obedience and the ultimate male dominance display.

that's why i just feel they would all be better served if they direct their activism towards more acceptance of being trans women or men rather than being accepted as authentically the opposite sex

I agree.

But I don't think many of them genuinely believe they are authentically the opposite sex, tbh.

it reminds me a little bit of an uncanny valley response

That's exactly what it is. And it's why your eye is drawn to a 'trans' person pretty much as soon as they walk into a room.

I had a discussion with some year 5 children recently about AI and how they would feel about an 'intelligent' robot teacher. They started of thinking it would be ok but very quickly said they'd feel "uncomfortable"; "cheated"; "weird"; "wrong"; "tricked"... when I asked them why, they explained that it might look a bit like a person; sound a bit like a person; move a bit like a person and could even be capable of listening to them and advising them and empathising them a bit like a person. But they all said that they would "know deep down it wasn't a person" and that would, essentially, negate all of it.

I think that sums it up really.

They know sexual orientation is fixed and innate. Otherwise, they wouldn't maintain their own through transition and, in gender ideology speak, go from gay man to straight woman or straight man to lesbian woman. They keep their orientations

I recommend the opening chapters of the book, "TRANS: Exploring Gender Identity and Gender Dysphoria:A guide for everyone including professionals".

These explanatory chapters are writtern by Dr Az Hakeem a gender specialist. He also edits the book which contains a number of essays from people with a wide range of perspectives and backgrounds.

Some of the chapters can be read open access preview:
www.amazon.co.uk/TRANS-Exploring-Gender-Identity-Dysphoria/dp/1911246496?tag=mumsnetforum-21

I don't know OP - I guess it leaves a smaller dating pool.
Trans in relationship with other trans
Trans in relationship with pan/omnisexuals
Straight post operative transwomen in relationship with open-minded straight men who can accept a man made inlet
Straight transwomen without bottom surgery in relationship with straight men who are also interested in anal sex
Straight post operative transmen in relationship with open-minded straight women who neither mind scarring nor phalloplasties
Straight transmen without bottom surgery with open-minded straight women who don't need p in v or don't mind a strap on
Lesbian transwomen are going to struggle because pre op their penis is going to be unwanted and post op their tract may look like but not smell or taste like a vagina
Gay transmen are going to struggle because pre op their vagina is going to be unwanted and post op their man made penis will not function like a real one
The other possibilities are gay men in a relationship with transwomen or lesbians in a relationship with a transmen but surely they are not validating the preferred gender identity in that case....

Lang makes a very powerful point above. Trans keep their sexual orientation but expect everyone else to change theirs in order to be sexually available to them.
Now that's privilege.

Oh no, you alluded to the fact that people have sexual orientations that do not include anyone and everyone who wants to fuck them? Dreadful.

The deletion was due to my mean spiritedness about who might find whom attractive, rather than the gory details of my sex life! Fair enough. First strike. Wrist slapped.

There appears to be a group of people who report everything even vaguely plausible for the purpose of creating the illusion that FWR is full of horrible hateful women that the mods delete constantly but never ban.
So say the TRAs and MRAs on twitter.

2LitreBottle - yes, it was graphic, but I've read more graphic stuff on here. Can't imagine why it was reported or deleted to be honest.

Well I’ve had my first deletion for not towing the party line. Probably just as well due to my graphic description of why I would only fancy a natal male with all his working anatomy intact.

I wonder who reported it. It wasn’t really pearl clutch-worthy, so maybe a visitor.

I really dont want to offend here but statistically more women are straight and fancy men than lesbians who are attracted to other women so why isn't it the case with transwomen? If TWAW why don't the majority fancy men and a smaller number fancy other women which would reflect the statistics of born women.

Interesting question/observation. Yes, surely if TWAW you would expect sexuality to be around the same? Like, if 10% of women are lesbian (I know its probably less than that), and TWAW then surely it would be around 10% of transwomen who were attracted to female people. Rather than seemingly, most. Something else that I have noticed in this whole thing, is that TWAW and can be lesbians, but male lesbians do not seem to get with other male lesbians, they seem to want female (real) lesbians instead. Why, if there is no dfference and female lesbians are meant to accept male people?

My view you like who you like and you sleep with who you like. As long as no one is pretending to be something they are not and everyone is honest with their expectations there shouldn't be an issue. The trouble arises when people are not honest.

Of course sexuality is not transphobic, no matter how many transactivists scream that everyone should be into cock. The cotton ceiling and such is just fucking vile, and rapey also. I cannot see myself ever being attracted to a transwoman or transman, and I am bisexual so I am told I should be as sex is irrelevant..however I just cannot imagine being into a female that tries to look male, and such. Maybe it would happen, but I can't imagine it, and I don't think this makes me transphobic, though many would disagree and declare me a bigot.

If a straight male wants to be a woman then they know their pool of potential partners massively decreases. Men are out as they aren't gay, lesbians don't want dick and most hetero women wouldn't be attracted to a male presenting as female.
This should be carved in stone at every gender clinic. If transition is decided to be the way forward for an individual they need to be told they are limiting their dating pool massively. If the dating pool is small (or if they have other sexual issues such as fetishes or an addiction to casual hookups) the chances of meeting someone for a long term relationship are smaller still. Neglecting to tell trans people the truth is not fair.

Well I’ve had my first deletion for not towing the party line. Probably just as well due to my graphic description of why I would only fancy a natal male with all his working anatomy intact.

Suffice to say, biology is not bigotry.

As a straight woman I can choose who I want to have sex with and I don’t have to be inclusive or take it on a case by case basis, any more than a fit 23 year old gay man has to consider my female, 14 stone, 44 year old frame when deciding who he wants to shag. Even if I tell him I identify as a man.

Yes, it gives the young girls that drag queen pseudo-feminine look too doesn’t it.

That unease that things are not as they appear - we are naturally wary of deception.

Tangent, but I accidentally watched a load of contouring/baking videos on YouTube last night (Pinterest has completely misread me) and found the concept and effect extremely unsettling for a raft of reasons that I’m still thinking through.

It’s interesting that this facial trompe l'oeil has taken off at the same time as other suspensions of disbelief are being mandated.