DD2s ‘friends’ have decided she’s trans

Gosh her 'friends' sound awful. They are bullying her.

I don't wear dresses (my wedding dress 9 years ago was the exception) I very rarely wear make up, my hair is cut in a style that I can wash and leave. I am however very much a woman.

I'd encourage a pulling back from her friends and I'd be raising hell at school about the bullying.

At that age I got jeans and chunky caterpillar boots out of the boys section of the littlewoods catalogue. Back when your average teen could only get DM's in black, cherry red or if really lucky, forest green, and you had to go to the Army and Navy store to get them! Happy days.

I would've been singled out as trans. I was very shy and wore baggy clothes because I hated the attention drawn by my changing body.

I'd be tempted to speak to their parents

Familiar with this. Not in the clearly overt bullying sense that is happening with your daughter, but with my own GNC child and her friends.

It's why I don't have any truck with this notion of rampant 'transphobia' everywhere - the youngsters round my daughter are desperate for the cool factor, and having a trans friend is the epitome of that right now. They can bask in the reflected glow of being 'special'.

Yes, definitely see the school. This isn't just about bullying, it is about the school needing to have some real conversations about trans issues that go beyond fluffy ideas about 'acceptance' and actually address some of the pressing issues about social contagion, peer-pressure, incorrect understandings of sex and gender and the fact that for those who do experience dysphoria it is a real issue and not a fashion statement. The school needs a chance to consider reviewing its own teachings and policies and considering how they could have led to such rubbish.

BTW, I am not attacking schools. I do think many teachers get this (I certainly don't agree that there is any evidence from MN that teachers are swallowing the trans agenda - quite the reverse in fact). But teachers may be constrained by the 'woke' messages they are being given

Neolara

I hope the school have named this as bullying to the girls. I hope they've not just counselled and supported the DD, because the underlying message of that (un-intended) may be to locate the 'problem' in the bullied child

I’d invite these girls round and then tell them that their gender stereotyping bullshit is damaging, bullying and wrong.

The 'friends' sound rather desperate for her to be trans so that they can parade her around as evidence of their woke credentials.

The answer to this is to challenge each and every comment with "stop being sexist" - because it is exactly what they are doing.

So if she was Trans, she needs to be referred to pastoral team ?
Why ? This is all sorts of wrong.
The Trans thing has got out of control,
& these "friends" are not friends, they are bullying her

Sounds like the adults in school understood the situation fully. I think their response towards your dd sounds appropriate. It's the kids who need to have things spelt out to them, not the adults. The school may have done this already..

I also agree with Duggle. This needs spelling out

Can't add much to excellent PPs, other than to echo Duggle in saying that the school needs to have this spelled out to them, broken down into small, digestible points which can't be argued with.
In my very 'woke' school, I can see the people who would be dealing with a referral to pastoral services not actually able to comprehend a lot of what is so clearly stated above as too busy being right on. Your DD's friends would likely get a pat on the head, not a talking to

When I was at school (about 20 years ago!) I wore DMs, trousers and had a rather unflattering haircut and other kids decided I must be a lesbian, so it’s nothing new I’m afraid, the bullying has just changed to reflect the times.

Tell her not to be afraid to stand up to them and tell her to try and make some new friends if she can, kids can be awful but at least she’s leaving soon.

This is nothing to do with being trans and everything to do with being bullied.
A few more weeks and she is finished there and can drop her ‘friends’ for some decent human beings

I guess at this point we can just hope that the adults recognize the children are being harassed for failure to comply with sex role stereotypes

Given the lack of critical thinking and wholesale swallowing of trans propaganda that we’ve seen from some teachers on these boards, I can’t say I’m wildly optimistic about this.

I know you say your daughter is leaving soon and you don't want to go to the school yet again but I think on this issue it is really important. Hopefully your daughter is sensible enough to rise above the comments and realise that these girls are not really her friends but once she has finished at the school these girls will probably do exactly the same to someone else. Someone who might not be as emotionally resilient and might actually think they are trans because of silly comments like this.

No doubt the girls have decided that somehow having a trans friend would be cool and something they can show off about but they need to be spoken to so they realise the potential consequences of what they are saying. Or ask the school to do some work with the whole school on sex stereotypes so they realise how narrow minded they are being.

Her “friends” are picking on her and bullying her.

She needs new friends.

They're bullying her, surely. Does the school not have an anti-bullying policy. I thought trans was based on one's own lived experience - i.e. you can only decide it for yourself. If they are collectively attempting to coerce your DD, whether through malice or ignorance of her true feelings, they're still telling her that her actual feelings don't matter. It seems more likely to be the case that they've either decided that she needs to perform more femininity in order to be accepted as a girl, or they don't like that her lack of feminine performance highlights the frailty of this part the trans agenda - by which I mean that sometimes people are perceived to be trans simply because they don't perform their sex/ gender roles.

My sister spent the majority of her teenage years in DMs, heavy metal t-shirts and army surplus clothing. Back then we called it having a personality.

This is bullying

It's the "friends" who could do with some counselling

Idiots

This is straight up bullying in the guise of acceptance. Is your dd ok? Will she be able to shake these 'friends' off when she leaves school?

Help your DD have some words to make a stand.

‘I’m a girl. Do you think all girls have to conform to 1950’s gender stereotypes?

Your R's sounds like me as a teen, I wore trousers, dm's, never wore make up and kept my hair simple. Back then there wasn't all this obsession with Trans and gender. I'm 100% a woman, I just don't comply with the norm. I can wear a dress when I want too, can wear make up if I want too, bit I decide not too as I opt for comfort and I have my own look.

Being called Trans because you don't dress girly is just crazy. I hope school sort these issues out and your daughter can be herself without being judged. She sounds like an amazing young lady.