DD2s ‘friends’ have decided she’s trans

PyeWackets it IS like "souls."

My teens school has a Stonewall logo on the website now.

I don't know what to say to him to counter the stereotyping at the heart of this. As a family we have always gone our own way whereas where we live parents are often very stereotypical in dealing with their kids. I want that to change but not in this way!

Oh, ffs. That kind of sounds like a girl in my class, who constantly tried to create drama by approaching girls (whom she found uncool) and asking them all concerned whether they had a crush on [some guy in our class or school she found cool] and then insisting that any denial was pointless and she knew, and then running around telling everyone about the crush, including the guy...

Of course at some point it was my turn. I just said 'well if you think so, it must be true.' and ignored the rest of it, laughing when it came up. (I've never been easily embarrassed, but for some targetted grils this was really difficult).

Basically, it was probably all so that she had a reason to get on the guy's radar and talk with him and, ideally, discuss/mock the girls together with him. This is not so different. They need a trans friend to parade around as a foil for their ' wokeness and womanlyness'.

Feminine boys are told they are girls and masculine boys are told they are boys. We should be challenging these stereotypes so both sexes can wear what they like. Instead we are reinforcing the stereotypes, using them to measure who is a boy and who is a girl. Organisations like Stonewall no longer do much for gay youth, it's all about changing facilities to mixed sex and pushing old fashioned sexist stereotypes.

Tei, there really is no room left for children who don't perform their stereotype, they are assumed to be trans. All of this is a step backwards and does nothing to challenge sexist stereotypes. No boy is a girl, no girl is a boy. Clothes and toys are for everyone.

Gender has been created and given magical soul like properties, we are told we all have one, that they should match our bodies, sometimes they get trapped in the wrong body, we express our magical shiny gender through clothing choices. It is all so sexist and damaging.

I am so angry that when this started it wasn't challenged, that people didn't just say No.

I have to disagree if someone is saying "Every word of this". I frowned at "no room left for feminine boys or masculine girls"--I'm not sure what those terms ought to mean, but I wish they weren't used to mean "conventionally" feminine or masculine. In fact if someone can figure out ways to be "unconventionally" feminine or masculine, I'd applaud.

I liked the rest of it, though.

Oh they've done a great job on the kids haven't they. They will police the borders and nudge those who don't perform their stereotype into transdom. There is no room left for feminine boys or masculine girls. This is not progress, this is regress, sexist, homophobic nonsense.

Every word of this.

I agree it is a form of bullying.

This has made me furious (again, I'm rarely not these days) on behalf of your DD. I deliberately didn't say "poor DD" because she sounds like an intelligent , well grounded and fab young woman. Unlike her stupid little bunch of bitchy bully so called "friends" . She will soar to great heights and leave them behind in the gutter where they belong. Good luck and best wishes to you both. X

Oh they've done a great job on the kids haven't they. They will police the borders and nudge those who don't perform their stereotype into transdom. There is no room left for feminine boys or masculine girls. This is not progress, this is regress, sexist, homophobic nonsense.

My 12-year-old son has long hair and doesn't like sport. He says that other children at school have asked him whether he is trans. As far as I know they've all accepted it when he has told them no, though.

This thread makes me so sad. this trans fad at the moment is such bollocks, hope it peters out soon.

Just seen your update. So they believe she's a girl because she "looked like one" at the formal? Sounds like she's well rid if she's moving elsewhere.

Yeah, that's nothing to do with being trans and everything to do with your dd having shit friends who are bullying her.
Surely the school have an anti bullying policy? Go in and see them, she's being bullied pure and simple

Just read the whole thread, I am glad that it went well for her.

I just can't believe how mad the world is, it scares me for my young DD. When I was younger I wore short skirts and make up and heels, now I am older I wear trousers every day, rarely wear makeup, don't care what my hair looks like. That doesn't make me a man, it makes me comfortable enough to not give a shit what I look like.

DC's friends all start wearing makeup at secondary school, start waxing hair and dying brows etc. I don't want DD to grow up thinking that you have to look a certain way. But I also don't want her to be accused of being a bloke because she doesn't wear makeup!

The whole world has gone crazy.

Wishing your DD all the best for the future at uni and I hope she has a better time there and meets new friends.

I'm pleased for her, but as you say, it's so sad that it takes this. My own daughter who has struggled so much has discovered make up artistry and is very good at it, and is even more confused about herself now because she thought she was a boy but she likes make up. I don't know how many times we've talked about what defines sex and that it has nothing to do with likes and personality. I imagine it's a fairly universal experience that a parent says something over and over and a teen doesn't listen, but I'm really feeling it right now!

I'm so glad she had a beautiful evening.

I think University may be even harder for her, with people asking pronouns etc. trying to be "right on" about these issues.

If she's feeling snarky then she could say her preferred pronoun is the utterly dehumanising "it". That might make the pronoun-profferors realise the stupidity of what they're asking.

On a serious level, i hope she has an amazing time at University and continues to grow into the strong young woman she is becoming.

"Sometimes I really hate other people’s teenagers."

I would put it more strongly than that in your shoes. However I appreciate that at her age you can't go marching in (pity).

please pass her our best wishes. sounds like you've handled this really well.

So, if we use a wrong pronoun to a transperson, it’s LITERAL VIOLENCE, but insisting your DD is trans when she’s not is okay? These kids need to back off and shut up. Glad she will be rid of them soon.

Oh the poor kid. Some people can use anything to bully, and when society creates such an easy situation to exploit, well, why is anyone ‘in charge’ surprised? Sigh. Sorry that wasn’t very helpful.

I’m counting the days for your daughter!

Thanks for updating us - I’m so glad she’s got a switched on mama like you ❤️

Your daughter sounds like an extremely sensible young woman, clearly takes after her mum. The last year of school is hard anyway, I think teenagers get tired, and having the future looming ahead of you suddenly is disquieting. Add this weird bullying and I'm not surprised your daughter is in tears. Yay for therapy dogs!

It's strange that in an era where it's all the rage to be non-binary; there's so much pressure on people to cleave to stereotypes.

I hope your daughter gets into the university of her choice and shakes the mean girls off her booted feet as she flies.

How has it come to this. .. I worked in a factory as an engineer where there were no women's toilets and had a toolbox thrown at my head because I was taking jobs from men. I had to fight for my daughters football team to get equal training time and access to kit as the boys. Jeez it wold have been simpler to identify as a man but that is not what it's all about!!! The right to present as we wish, do what jobs we want, have equal access to resources and not for the answer to be.... identify as trans and you can have all of those things.

I feel really sorry for her. This shows exactly how trans ideology is actually regressive...it is enforcing gender stereotypes. Applying labels is not freedom, it's the opposite.

I'm also struggling with the idea that an originally feminine hairstyle that was appropriated by men is now seen when worn by a girl as evidence that she's not sufficiently feminine. Teenagers are weird.