Daughter with ROGD - issues with school

We equate the two as they likely stem from pretty much the same source.

please do not equate the two as is often done on here the focus on purely body image is not the full picture of Anorexics. this is often the misconception around this while it plays a part it is often around maladaptive behaviours around food and control over things, comparing to two directly. is not helpful in this.

Right it is an exercise in psychological control over yourself when often the environments you find yourself in are beyond your control - like puberty. It can be a form of control, a response to trauma (sexual, or other), it can have roots in wanting to belong. Not remotely like feeling your body and how it is changing and how people respond to you being beyond your control and wanting to exercise some control through the gender you identify as and making people respond to you differently - not remotely alike are they?

Except they are and I'll conflate the two as I know a considerable amount about eating disorders through research and experience and I see those similarities. Don't assume people don't know what they are talking about.

please do not equate the two as is often done on here the focus on purely body image is not the full picture of Anorexics. this is often the misconception around this while it plays a part it is often around maladaptive behaviours around food and control over things, comparing to two directly. is not helpful in this

Anorexia is a product of psychological distress and difficulties in managing life, as is gender dysphoria. Successful treatment of anorexia requires a deeper exploration and resolution of issues than simply those relating to body image, as is the case for gender dysphoria.

Why this is deemed to be controversial in the case of gender dysphoria but not in anorexia is what is concerning!

Hoggirl765 - thank you for returning to this thread. I hope you found at least something helpful in it. I am sorry that it turned out the way it did. Good luck with everything and I wish nothing but the best for your child. Again: you sound like a wonderful mother.

Reading a thread where people are verbally abused with personal attacks and false accusations and those who object or react angrily to the abuser are deleted while the abuser continues the abusive behavior is not something I ever expected to see on the Feminist boards of this parenting website.

please do not equate the two as is often done on here the focus on purely body image is not the full picture of Anorexics. this is often the misconception around this while it plays a part it is often around maladaptive behaviours around food and control over things, comparing to two directly. is not helpful in this.

That's your view. I beg to differ.

VickyEadie

please do not equate the two as is often done on here the focus on purely body image is not the full picture of Anorexics. this is often the misconception around this while it plays a part it is often around maladaptive behaviours around food and control over things, comparing to two directly. is not helpful in this.

People often use anorexia as a comparable example and I think it's the one especially worth using in this context. Anorexics usually have a self-image which is at complete odds with reality and a desire to radically change their bodies in a way which is dangerous.

No school would accept 'guidance' from a pro-ana group (and we know they exist) telling them to do the kinds of things we know that Mermaids and the like are sending out.

I'm fed up of being told I must accept without question - and buy into - the notion that some people believe something which is impossible. That some people are actively promoting this amongst children - including small children - defies belief.

Or developed anorexia, as several people have said. It’s long been established that anorexia has it’s roots in a fear of growing up, hence it’s usual appearance at the onset of adolescence.

If a teenager was convinced that the only way they could feel comfortable was to walk around with a blindfold because they identified as blind, and that they were genuinely distressed when able to see, would the school enable that against the wishes of the parents (who can see that their child needs kind and supportive therapy). Would the school enable that on the basis of some training they had got from a group who supports people who are distressed being able to see? Or would they listen to the parents, and take advice from medical professionals?

I don't believe they can change her name on the personal data on the school records as this information was given to them be with my signature. Surely that's a legal document that they can't just change at their will?

I don't want to alarm you, Hoggirl, but I wouldn't assume anything. Schools where the ideology of Mermaids, for example, has been absorbed uncritically are doing some totally batshit things.

I think a formal meeting at the school the week before term starts is a plan. You'll need to bring resources and reports with you, as suggested upthread

If a child is vocalising to you at a very early age, it must mean they feel it strongly

Or not. In my son's case, not.

He was convinced he was a girl at 3-4. He was frequently mistaken for a girl.

He expressed a strong wish to be a girl at 11. His hobbies were fairly typically 'girly' and he was very much teased for it. He too mentioned suicide at more than one point.

He's a boy. And I'm very glad that he just missed the current trend to 'affirm' any hint of teensy smidgen of possible suggestion of trans identity, because it could have led a healthy child into a disastrously unnecessary path.

Why has this person been handed such status?

It's astonishing, isn't it? Someone who has so much personally invested in this issue, being quoted as though she is some sort of expert in child development. When in fact, she seems to know very little about it.

Susie Green said at age 3-5 years a children generally align with their gender, they notice and start to fit as either girl or boy. We only ask those who say their birth gender doesn't fit. If a child is vocalising to you at a very early age, it must mean they feel it strongly'

At 3-5, they are starting to understand that there is some sort of difference about girls and boys, but they do not yet understand that the only real difference is reproductive role. All they can know about at this age is stereotypes.

She thinks a healthy 3-year-old child should be lied to (that they can change sex) and led down a path towards sterility, lack of sexual function and a lifetime of medication because they like the 'wrong' toys or clothes. How has she managed to get so much power?

@Hoggirl765 and Truthwillwin, you might find the Transgender Reality site helpful. The site, which describes itself as What Trans People Are Really Saying Online, reveals the totally irresponsible and frankly terrifying way some transgender adults interact with questioning teens (and we're talking about 13 or 14 y.o) who visit forums like Reddit asktransgender.

Truthwillwin there is nothing hysterical about your posts. You're clearly a loving devoted parent at the end of your tether. You have my utmost sympathy. Please post here for support.

In passing, I very much object to the use of the word "hysterical" for a woman's distress and anxiety, particularly on a feminist board. It's a misogynist term with its roots in the Greek word for uterus, which is the source of the word hysterectomy too.

See also Transgender Trend article about the role and influence of
Transpire and its founder Gina Denham (police officer):

'Who Is Making Policy For Schools?'

www.transgendertrend.com/who-is-making-policy-for-schools/

relevent thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3241837-Why-has-the-trans-lobby-been-so-successful

If, as is thought, many girls are transitioning due to PTSD/sexual trauma. Where the fuck is this going to lead?

Would a girl who transitions because of sexual trauma, then be recommended to use the boys' toilets?? Seriously? Without the parents' knowledge? The school wouldn't even know why the girl was transitioning.

You see, I don't think the school would suggest they use the boys' toilets. I think the school would experience the cognitive dissonance at exactly that situation.

One would hope.

But putting protocols in place for this to be considered the correct course of action is breathtaking.

April 2015 Independent opinion article by Susie Green:

"I've been called an abusive and dangerous parent, when all I did was listen to my transgender child
Since then, I've seen over 200 children who have gone through transition, and it's always the same – we ignore them at their peril"

"Puberty is in itself a diagnostic tool. If it doesn't not cause distress, then the likelihood is that the child is not transgender. If it does cause distress, then hormone blocking medication is given, which is completely reversible if needs be.

When my daughter started puberty at 12, she was incredibly depressed. She started taking overdoses of paracetamol, before moving onto to self-harming with razor blades. For her, it was a daily relief and distraction to her body changing in a way she couldn't control. She was prescribed blockers at 13.

Luckily, my daughter and I weren't completely alone. When she was six I called a helpline run by the group Mermaids, which supports children with gender identity issues and their families. This was after she asked when she could have the operation to make her a girl. I cannot tell you the feeling I had during that call. Comfort cannot even begin to come close."

www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/ive-been-called-an-abusive-and-dangerous-parent-when-all-i-did-was-listen-to-my-transgender-child-10165241.html

This is why allowing pronouns and name changes in school is dangerous. The child, believing they are the opposite sex will then feel the pressure to use the changing/shower room and toilet of said sex. Or do the schools draw a line on this ? We have to assume that the kids have not had sexual reassignment Surgery.
I hope the OP has been helped by this thread. It certainly confirms my concerns.

Why has this person been handed such status?

The guidance says teachers should not tell parents if their child changes gender in school unless the child, who could be as young as four, gives permission

Mermaids have recently started a campaign in response to the GRA consultation. They are claiming this is discriminatory against the human rights of children/ young people and want self-id extended to under 18's #IKNOWWHOIAM

(this is also a current legislative focus in Ireland)

See Mermaids FB pinned post:
www.facebook.com/MermaidsGender/posts/1742222849207817

Susie Green discussed this when interviewed on SKY news last week.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3311038-Sky-News-9-30am-today-re-GRA

my notes from watching the interview c&p from thread above:
"Susie Green from Mermaids is currently on at -2:05

In discussion about the Govt. consultation on GRA she said they were encouraging people to use Q10 & Q11 to highlight age discrimination against children / young people. 'Mermaid's parents and children feel left out & that human rights should apply from birth'. That children should be covered by this too. Disappointed that children were not covered.

said huge amounts of discrimination on a day to day basis.
Susie said that all 7 suicide attempts over a 3 year period made by her daughter were directly linked to a transphobic attack.

We are still seeing that level of hatred and prejudice against children as young as 6 or 7 yrs old, says 'its why 45 % of our young people have attempted suicide at least once and over 80% self harm" ...'it is an emergency'

Asked how young is too young for a child to self-identify?
Susie Green said at age 3-5 years a children generally align with their gender, they notice and start to fit as either girl or boy. We only ask those who say their birth gender doesn't fit. If a child is vocalising to you at a very early age, it must mean they feel it strongly'

She also seemed to draw a binary distinction between parents:
"If I had continued to try to convince her that how she felt was bad or wrong I would not have the happy daughter that I have now."

Advised parents to listen to their child not shame them.

The guidance says teachers should not tell parents if their child changes gender in school unless the child, who could be as young as four, gives permission

Can you imagine about finding out from, say, another parent who is inviting your little boy (actually your daughter) to a party or something?

Can you imagine that few minutes of dawning realisation that your child is being referred to by a different name and sex at school, possibly using different facilities, with the whole school being complicit not only in that, but in keeping it from you?

That should strike utter terror into the heart of any parent. Any person.

I'm so grateful for the women on here who are raising safeguarding concerns, with the knowledge and experience that they have in the field.

Apologies,
link to Times article quoted:
www.thetimes.co.uk/article/legal-battle-over-school-gender-rule-kbjkdnzxd

John Boothman and Jamie McDonald Times article, 'Legal battle over school gender rule' (June 2018)

(extract)
"The Scottish government is facing a legal challenge over guidance that teachers should allow primary school pupils to switch gender identity without seeking parents’ consent.

The action is being threatened by the Christian Institute which says it fails to safeguard the rights and responsibilities of parents.

The guidance says teachers should not tell parents if their child changes gender in school unless the child, who could be as young as four, gives permission .

It also suggests school staff should inform local councils of parents who “struggle” with their child’s transgender identity, and says parents should not be told if their children are sharing rooms with transgender pupils.

In a letter to the Scottish government from law firm Balfour+Manson on behalf of the institute, ministers are asked to withdraw the guidance pending further consideration or risk judicial review.

Raising concerns about the shared use of toilets and changing facilities, it states: “For many young people, being forced to use a toilet or changing facilities with trans young people who retain the genitalia of the opposite sex raises a concerning disregard for personal privacy.”

Ciarán Kelly, the institute’s deputy director, said: “It beggars belief that the Scottish government has authorised a state-funded campaign group to dictate to teachers what their obligations are and strip parents of their responsibilities.” (continues)

See also:
www.heraldscotland.com/news/16311379.schools-forget-girls-in-rush-to-adopt-pro-trans-guidance-campaigners-claim-as-christian-group-threatens-legal-action/

Oh again absolutely datun

And allowing people not even on the site to complain!!

What the hell

If i have a problem with someone i tell them...i dont get some random off the street to do it