Daughter with ROGD - issues with school

Which is worse? The schools abrogating their duty of care by disregarding parents and therapists and insisting children are transgender if they deviate from sex role stereotypes or questioning their gender, or people on this thread refusing to use the pronoun for a child that Snappity deems appropriate based on the fantasy Snappity has created in their head?

I believe I already told you that I would not be interacting with you any further, Snappity. Please respect that boundary, and also the fact that this thread is about supporting the OP.

This thread is absolutely not the place for Snappity to be proselytizing (nor would any other support thread be). This is a mother who needs advice from other mothers who've been through the same thing, not an opportunity to issue veiled threats.

Don't you think that the child is the one most needing support? He, according to the OP, has expressed a male identity a school but he has been repeatedly misgendered on this public thread as "daughter" and "she". That should not be acceptable.

If people genuinely are being supportive the least they could do is do the child the courtesy of referring to him as "he", "him", "son" etc. Adults find it hard enough, as we know from other threads, if people misgender them. The impact on a child of misgendering could be so much worse. If people want to advise the OP what to do, fair, enough but that should not be at the expense of disrespecting the child himself.

happydappy2

snappity you clearly have an agenda here, for transparency would you mind letting us know if you are a mum? Has one of yr kids decided to present as the other sex?

I don’t wish to be intrusive on yr personal life but you seem to be approaching this in an extremely pro trans way. Whereas most parents advocate watch and wait-80% of children desist transitioning after puberty.

Snappity's partner is trans. And doesn't like Snappity to post here so often...

Desisting

Neuroplasticity also happens. The propaganda via social media and the total entrenchment by algorithms which our kids click onto means their exposure to this is heightened. Then the institution which we use to call education maintains it. It is all pervasive and the only sensible person or persons who truly know their child is made to feel they are the abuser. All I can say is that this extremely well organised ideology is making the strongest sceptics look like they are the nasty ones.

If I thought that this was something real I might possible understand a little and put my hand up and say I’m old and times have changed from when I was young. I can hear my own parents voice on this statement. Times do change. Biology doesn’t.
A female is a female.

A male is a male.
We can’t mix and match
Whoever thinks this is possible is equally mad and equally gaslighted.
I honestly can’t understand how anyone can buy onto the propaganda.
Sadly, if we do we would not want to acknowledge we were taken in. This is even more true when dealing with teens. Their pig headness will stop them from acknowledging they were wrong. Their fear of being ridiculed for not keeping up the pretence can stop them from désistons.
They are teens after all and this is what teens do.

If the child is part of the group who later desist, affirming his gender identity has no negative impact.

But it does. Social transition puts undue pressure on the child, if the child decides they are not trans (as most do). If everyone around them is referring to them as a boy and such, then it can be very hard to come out and say 'I was wrong'. Think how hard it is for a child to tell a parent they are trans in the first place, then mutiply that..as its doing the same, but after they have already made a declaration...and likely been fanfared all over the internet by TRAs and their ilk for doing so. They will feel embarassed to start with about changing their mind, but also at school if they have 'socially transitioned' they will have also been met with fanfare about how brave and stunning they are, and going back on this, back to being just regular rather than stunning and brave? Yeah, its hard to go back on.

And yes, watch and wait pretty much does mean do nothing. Be a supportive ear, as parents would be anyway, but otherwise, watch and wait and see how things go.

This thread is absolutely not the place for Snappity to be proselytizing (nor would any other support thread be). This is a mother who needs advice from other mothers who've been through the same thing, not an opportunity to issue veiled threats.

Boundary issues, again.

gendercriticalresources.com/Support/

Don’t know how to make it clicky. If that’s the right word.

I found it from 4th wave now and by GCD blog. I have been a member sinc last August. The members are from all over but US and Canada feature strongly. There are more Uk people joining. We on the Uk have thankfully still got some safeguards on place due to the NHS America is very different. It is using the informed consent protocol and Planned Parenthood is the devil. Kids walk in and get hormones in a jiffy. This will happen here if self Id and private GP practices like our lovely Doctor who I can’t name but has a lot of posts about him on here gets there way.

I’m not sure how to do a link but I’ll post this first and try

Truthwillwin

What is the gender critical support board? Hoggirl765 is not alone in her concern, or circumstances.

Can we direct people to your board?

To the OP
I do not contribute much on this forum. But when a parent is being scaremongerd by another poster by stating we parents of trans identifying kids are harming our kids I had to respond.

This will bring you sleepless nights and this will impact your family on a scale that no one will understand unless they are going through it. I have had death in my family and I can honestly say this is the worst thing that has come onto my home because of the crap being pushed on our kids. This is child abuse. Telling our kids they can grow tits/ cut off their tits and make a hole for a vagina or get a penis. What parent can honestly think this is normal. If you do have to agree would you still think this is normal. If this happens to my child I will see his mental health has been compromised by the very institutions we thought we could trust.

Snappity. Are you a parent of a trans identifying child?
Snappity. Are you Transexual?

Unless you are any of the above could you please keep your crap on hold and help those parents, like me and the OP to at least look at the bigger picture before you wade in and gaslight us.

OP if you are still reading, I am sorry you are going through this. My teenage dd also went through a phase of ROGD. We did not affirm the new identity and she later desisted.

I agree with a pp that if the school will not respect your views on how this should be dealt with then it is worth investigating home education.

If the child is part of the group who later desist, affirming his gender identity has no negative impact.

Data please.

Furthermore, was it you, Snappity, who explained the ten girls coming out simultaneously as something to do with the possibility of their mothers living near each other and being exposed to the same environmental conditions?

OP, i'm not sure if someone has posted this already, or if you have read it, but it's quite useful.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/4thwavenow.com/2017/12/07/gender-dysphoria-is-not-one-thing/amp/

Seeing worried mothers being accused of not safeguarding specifically because they are actively safeguarding their children is one of the best examples of DARVO I've seen in a while. And should not be acceptable on this forum in this context.

Just to confirm that my child is not suicidal. Nor is he distressed in his day to day life. It is only when he’s spoken to the goaders that he starts to say rubbish things. He has thanked us for reigning him in and to take a slow approach. My job is to keep him safe from the activist. My child is vulnerable and his safety from groomers is paramount. . .

The schools that are abusing children like this need to be stopped.

I'd be furiously googling the local home education groups or considering moving schools.

I am a member of the gender critical support board. There are over 900 members who have joined. It has only been operating for a year. Every day new people join. The majority of the parents have young teens with ROGD. This is a new phenomenon but the trans activist do not want to acknowledge this. Most of the kids do not fit with the previous diagnostics thus the current presentation of being trans is different from what was previously set out. The trans agenda don’t want us to acknowledge this new social contagion as it would ultimately prove that being trans is not innate.
There clearly are people who are very dysphoric but careful screening and talk therapy was the standard protocol. Now this is not allowed. It’s just affirm, affirm and more. Any social moves regarding pronouns and name changing is the gateway to hormones and surgery because once your child is caught up in this they are Bullied to the next stage. Trust me. This happens. My child first said it was no big deal and only thinking this to a trans binge on line and a month later requesting puberty blockers. Now my child thinks he will die if he doesn’t be his true authentic self.
Thanks to people like Crappity this is the same nonsense being said to our kids. Make no mistake here. Think very carefully.

My child is not affirmed by us in any way other than acknowledging his dysphoria. Dysphoria is distressing but so is any other mental health issue. Your child, like mine, needs to be brought back into the fold. Back to the safety of her family. Build up her self esteem and love her whilst maintaining boundaries. If as a grown adult who has experienced more of her life and she decides this is the right path this will be out of your hands. Until then you are the parent who knows your child better than anyone, better than Crappity or Mermaids or any other activist. It is harrowing to see this shit, pedalled by Crappity, but I reckon you see the crap.

OP - I really do sympathise. We are in a similar situation. My DD15 went thru' a particularly difficult illness experience and afterwards suddenly said she was boy at age 14. School endorsed this and said I should be calling her by her boy name at home. I got called in and was pretty much told I was an awful parent if I didn't !. Although she identifies as trans in school, she doesn't at home or anywhere else.
I am angry because the school only sees what presents in school. They are unaware (in the main) of what she has gone through. She has been diagnosed with PTSD and depression and I have been advised by her psychiatrist and counsellors that she has classic symptoms of dissociation i.e. projection of a preferred new 'safe" identity. I know she is not trans and yes, I know I will get slated for saying that. But, the school's meddling has made a tricky situation a hell of lot worse. They got one of the Mermaids type organisations in in year 8 and after that was when it started. I also found out that she had been following a musician on You Tube who is trans and blogs about it. Above all, my daughter was confused, she's a deep thinker and very emotional. If anything, now, a year later she is happier and has hinted she wants to lessen the trans identity. I fully endorse a watch and wait approach - whereas her school takes the view "I think I am therefore I am" - an affirmative approach. I am furious with her school ( an independent in Cambridge).

Also is she sporty at all? If she is then sports would be a great way of grounding her in her body and might help to counter whatever tendency towards dissociation from the body is happening. It may help remind her that her body is a tool that helps her do things and not a decorative object, if the latter societal idea is contributing to her distress.

OP I am going through this with an older child. You've had excellent advice in the main, esp SarahCarer's. It was too late for me to stop internet access, but that would be my number one priority (maybe it could just "stop working"much like what happened to the TV one summer when I was a child).
Then lots of love and attention on everything about your child unrelated to gender. It is easy to avoid pronouns altogether if that might help.
definitely look at addressing any underlying issues. - anxiety etc, and consider ASD (often missed in girls as they mask their difficulties).

Look at the GIDS website - there's good advice there for parents and for professionals if you need it.
And go back to school in September armed with all your research.

Snappity is probably off frothing at Tavistock for their transphobic bigotry.

Hoggirl765 please read the web site transgendertrend.com

and give this a listen: