I’m confused though, if a person of either sex is only attracted to people with female bodies, in the case of casual sex what does it matter how they identify?
If I was single and out looking for a sexual encounter, I wouldn’t care whether it was with a heterosexual, bisexual or lesbian woman. Sex is sex and a body is a body, and as longus consent was mutual, what label they stick on that body wouldn’t matter to me in that moment. Obviously for a relationship it’s different, and I wouldn’t want to enter a relationship with a heterosexual woman Who maintained that they were heterosexual, because well, I’d find the cognitive dissonants a bit problematic, and surely she couldn’t be heterosexual if she was in a relationship with me. I’d consider it a denial of our relationship, and a denial of me as a person. By the same token if I were to enter into a relationship with a man I could no longer maintain that I am a lesbian, because clearly it wouldn’t be true., and any man who I’d enter a relationship with wouldn’t deserve to be erased by me.
These people seem to lack any awareness that it cuts both ways. I can understand how they would want to feel validated as a person, but feeling validated as a person for me wouldn’t be fulfilling if it came at the expense of invalidating another person.
I’ll give you a more mundane example. I have taken my guide dog to restaurants in the past and been told that I’m not allowed in with the dog. I’ve pointed out that it’s against the law to discriminate against guide dog owners, and sometimes it’s just been a misunderstanding that get’s cleared up immediately, but sometimes they have continued to object. At this point I have two choices, I can push, and threaten to take them to court if they don’t allow me entry, hope that they’ll back down but spend my evening feeling awkward, uncomfortable and unwelcome, or I can walk away, go somewhere else, and pursue it through more official channels if I wish.
I know this is different because what they are doing is discrimination, and against the law, but even in those cases pragmatism I‘ve found is the best way to cope.
There comes a point where insistence on exercising your rights can become harmful to yourself and a self defeating pursuit. It’s very easy to get into a victim mentality if you pick the only place in town where you are not welcome., so why do it? Sorry I’ve rambled on somewhat and started to confuse myself. I guess my point is why do people who identify as women but also have a penis target lesbians? Why is it only acceptable for their validation that they only sleep with women who say they only sleep with women? There are plenty of women out there, many more than lesbians, who happily except penis in their sex lives, so why intentionally go after the ones who do not? I mean presumably what they’re after is sex, or companionship, so why not take it where it’s available and find a compromise regarding labels, rather than trying to kick down a closed door. Sex, after all is not a human right, it’s an act entered into by two consenting adults. Why is The validity of the relationship based on the sexuality of their partner?
I’m sorry this is really confused, and of course I know why they’re doing it, I just can’t get my head round the utter madness of it, and I completely fail to understand why nobody else would either. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent my life dealing with real prejudice and discrimination, and pragmatism is the only healthy way of dealing with it.