little things you do each day that are a tiny bit feminist

Love this thread!

I use Ms all the time and give a little explanation most of the time.

eg I bought some wine recently, the shop assistant asked if I minded being put on the mailing list, I didn't, so he asked, "are yuor Mrs or Miss" my answer, "I'm Ms, you don't really need to know if I'm married to sell me wine do you?" with a smile.

The same when teaching.

Between my friend/carer and me there is a running joke about self ID, it started with the cat and the lettuce if anyone remembers that.

We went shopping and there was a box of cauliflower on the pavement, no one seemed to be moving it into or out of the shop so we speculated as to why it was there.

We came to the conclusion the contents were protesting about the label of 'cauliflower' being forced on them and they were being miss - well this is where we had to stop and think of the alternative of misgender and I think it was 'misveg'.

Sometimes opportunities arise.

Many years ago in my pre disabled state I was having a drink with a boyfriend and he was meeting up with some very posh young ladies who he had taught first aid to.

When they found out he had a motorbike one turned to me and asked if I rode pillion his bike, the answer, "no, but he's been pillion on mine"

A friend came round a while back, she had been watching some thing on TV where there were a number of musical acts on, she said to me, "and the first 6 were all men, you've done that to me, I would never have noticed before".

Good point about not using ‘just’.

Love the animal idea and will definitely use it. Although dogs are always male and cats female in this house.
I don't think I apologise too much and I take up my space, I'm tiny anyway so if I shrink myself I'd disappear.
I'm lucky that I've always been encouraged to share my opinions and make myself heard. Was always included in the mens conversations around the dinner table.
My little sister got a lecture last week when she came in apologising for a shit situation that wasn't her fault. I told her not to say sorry, to never ever say sorry for something you haven't done. She's already a budding feminist, I hope the message sinks in.
I know she looks up to me so it's easier to influence, my ds I'm less sure how to handle.

I try to stop saying just.

Or apologising before I’ve even gotten started .

I’m sorry , have you got a minute 🙈
Have you got a minute

I’m just asking for .... 🙈.
I’m asking for

Also growing armpit hair 🐇🐇🐇

Robins do look the same. I meant black birds. I knew it was something with a colour. Tired brain not joining the dots. And it took me way too long to work out what was wrong

I change 'he' to 'she' in books A LOT to even it out.
I always ask my DC if the teddy or stuffed toy they're playing with is a girl or a boy and then go along with that.
Same with animals -
' is this a girl or boy ladybird'
'it's a girl mummy'
Look she's got spots....etc.

I call out my DH on any sexist remark or assumption I'm going to do something.

When talking to my teenagers at work I refer to 'your adult' rather than mum which is the normal default. It solves the assumption that mum deals with house admin and the complicated home lives some have in one simple phrase.

I also try to not apologise when challenging a male at work not in an aggressive way but in a my opinion is also valid sort of way.

I've started reviewing my emails and removing:

I think it might be sensible to...
I wonder whether you might...
Just thought it worth considering
Me too

I recommend
Please do this
We need to do this

Some great tips here. Mind you I call my bees girls. To be fair they are 80% female and at this time of year have very short lives.

For a while now I’ve stopped letting my DH know when I stop for a break. He never does the same for me. If I want a break, I just take one.

I change minutes to Chair and always refer to parents rather than mothers/fathers.

I've started reviewing my emails and removing:

I think it might be sensible to...
I wonder whether you might...
Just thought it worth considering...

Also constantly pointing out to DD (9) that female singers/ actors / dancers/ etc etc are judged on appearance and body and expected to dress in a certain way and how ludicrous and hypocritical this is- I always comment how great their singing, acting, talent etc is and how hard they worked on that skill

This thread gives me hope for my dd. Thank you xx

Always Ms or my name. I've recently moved into a different department at work which is very male dominated so I deliberately check all emails for apologetic language before I press send and I've started being a lot more direct. I don't give way when men try to talk over me on calls, I open doors and wave them through and I walk in straight lines.

The random animals is great - ds has always categorised them as ‘papa duck’ or ‘mama duck’ depending on size smaller animals are ‘baby duck’ etc.

bertie I also do the ‘praise the action’ thing because I want him to know that HE isn’t bad, chucking stuff (etc) is bad. I hadn’t thought about using it in this context but you’re right, and I shall.

I'm a teacher and constantly say "she" for the writer /narrator and habitually ask male and female students "why did you say " he" or "his" etc if it's not explicit. Make them think through their assumptions and stereotypes

Oh and if I hear 'why are you crying like a girl' 'why you screaming like a girl' 'why you throwing like a girl'
I call whoever it is out😩
I think people think I'm a pain in the arse!

@UpstartCrow Tell me about it! We live in South Africa though, where restaurants have 'ladies menus' full of fish and fucking salad, which makes me revolt and order a massive slab of steak (even if I do actually just want something light!). So it's fair to say it might be a while before they call them firefighters instead of firemen!

This is a magnificent thread. I love the hint about animals. I always say Mr Lion and call the dinosaur he. Will try to change this.

I work with 3 and 4 year olds, I do it constantly, just small things everyday. My colleagues think I'm nuts, which is abit sad. They think I'm just being funny, and ask why does it matter!!!! I'm like 'WE'RE SHAPING YOUNG MINDS!'

I write 'gingerbead' 'gingerbread person' on my daily sheets instead of 'gingerbread man'

I change the sex of characters in story books to him/her to make it fairer. We have one book about a fire engine and the fire fighter is male who saves a woman from a burning building. I swap them around!

I refer to animals as 'she' because the default is 'he' when you think about it.

When the children innocently say 'police man' or 'fire man' I repeat back 'police officer' or 'firefighter' girls can be fire fighters too, just like boys!

I've been at it for years and now my gorgeous pre schoolers who I've had since they were 6/7 months old know!!! The other day I asked a few different children different questions...

Is a doctor a man or a woman?
Emma, 3
A man OR a woman!

Is a firefighter a man or a woman?
Ryan, 4
It is.... a boy can do it but a girl can as well.

Isabelle what about a nurse, is a nurse a man or a woman?
Ethan, 4.5
Both! A man or a woman can be a nurse.

They aren't made up, I felt so proud, I honestly thought they would stick to the stereotype! Makes me wonder how different their generation will be compared to mine and the generations before me!

When my dad gives me money, I thank both my mum and dad. If my mum hadn't been a SAHM to me and my siblings, my dad wouldn't have been able to run his business and earn money, leading to where he is now. This bothers him massively! He's 65 and just doesn't see it that way.

When I'm in my period and my boyfriend (rarely, but he has in the past) blames what I'm saying on my hormones I say 'yeah of course my vagina is bleeding so anything that comes out of my mouth is invalid... cool'👍🏼

it’s not obvious (robins, mallards etc)

I thought male and female robins looked the same?(sorry, I like birdwatching!)

A while back I marked up the minutes of a meeting I had attended to change Chairman to Chair/Chairperson throughout, explained why and asked that the Company Secretariat do this for all governance meetings throughout the company. They very graciously did and every time they forget/have someone new (not very often) I mark it up on the minutes.

I love using "girls" rather than women. And I'm a feminist. So there

Pretamum Firefighters and police officers haven't called themselves 'men' for a number of years now. Nursery is way out of date!

I knew I had got animals right when my eldest pointed out a few months back that the two swans building a nest might both be the same sex