little things you do each day that are a tiny bit feminist

I so have a feminist 6yr old! We started watching "Anne with an E" on Netflix today. DD asked me why Marilla was annoyed to be sent a girl from the orphanage. I explained that she wanted a boy who would be able to help do the hard work on the farm. She screwed up her face, made an exasperated noise and said "why can't a girl do that?"

A moment later, Anne made that exact point in the show, and DD looked at me with a "See? Told you so!" expression.

I just realised @FluffyPersian that all wedding decorations and hen party stuff has “ Mrs” on it!! From Miss to Mrs and that kind of thing!!! I can’t believe in 2018 you had to go and get Ms and Mr stuff MADE! How appalling is that?

@FluffyPersian love that you asked his mother's permission and proposed to him and he wears the ring. Sounds like you will have a fab feminist wedding and a 'thoroughly modern marriage'. Good for you!

I have stopped using 'just' and 'sorry to ask but' in work emails.

If I buy a dress (eg for work) I only buy one with pockets. I need to store some of my stuff close to me, not in a handbag. When I review clothes I make a point of delightfully drawing attention to the fact it has functional pockets. Also it drives me crazy when I see a pair of women's work trousers with fake pockets. You don't see fake pockets on men's trousers.

I'm going back to work, and my husband is staying home. And it's remarkable how many men have responded to that by saying they would love to be home with their kids more. So every time they say that, I encourage them to do it, if at all possible.

I also described myself as a feminist in a job interview last week, and got a call back for a second interview. Might have helped that the whole office was female, up to and including the director.

I tell my (6mo) ds stories about princesses rescuing men, and girls who want to be astronauts. And how important it is to have women in the government. Hopefully if I keep telling him it will go in! I also try to praise the behaviour rather than the boy, so after his jabs I told him that he was really brave and I was proud of how well he did. I know he's only 6 months but I think it's a case of me getting into good habits now, so that my son grows up to be as feminist as his mum is! (Also like his dad, who is also a feminist, one of the reasons I married him!)

I get married 2 weeks today - I have tried to make my wedding as 'equal' as possible and have challenged most traditions from the beginning.....

1. I'm walking myself up the aisle
2. Neither of us are taking each others surnames
3. I'm keeping my titles the same (Ms/Dr)
4. Due to our Mothers not being listed on our marriage certificate - They are both our witnesses, so both parents are on our marriage certificate
5. We've got bespoke "Mr & Ms" decorations everywhere
6. I'm the one doing the (only) speech.

... Plus, I actually asked his Mothers permission to ask him to marry me..... bought a ring, and proposed on one knee (and a pie in the other hand, but that's another story), so he wears the engagement ring, not me...

The only thing in our relationship that I guess is 'traditional', is that he carries all heavy things and does the heavy lifting, but that's only because I've had a recurring back injury (slipped discs and caudal epidural plus loads of physio) over many years and whilst I try and make it as strong as possible, I don't want to fuck it up again..... so he just automatically lifts all heavy things and that works for us

Are there really women who don’t buy their round at the bar!!!!?

This is inspiring, I’m raising girls (they are under 13!) and want them to know they can do anything.

We talk about assumed sexism all the time, correct ‘automatic’ gender bias etc but I hadn’t thought about my language in emails etc... want to read all the way through this thread and make a short term/medium term goals list!

I buy rounds at the bar, I have gone to the cinema on my own, hired big van to move my DD into her flat. I did ask for help from DH with heavy stuff though as I’m just not very physically strong. I use power tools too and do most of the driving because I enjoy it.

Love these!

Yes to using Ms all the time.

I correct my senior male (doctor!) colleagues when they say "hello girls" to the team - drives me BONKERS so i usually go with "Are they under 13??" - one of the docs has switched to "hello team", which is a start .

Dp (female) always refers to the "green woman" at pedestrian crossing when crossing with ds's - why should it be a man rather than a woman in trousers?! . They're 16 and 14 now so it drives them a bit mad, but the point has sunk in I think.

Dp will also regularly address letters/cards to Mrs and Mr xxxx . I never do this - just go on automatic pilot and before I know it I've written Mr and Mrs.

I hold doors open for anyone - why wouldn't I ?! Also very comfortable going for a meal on my own or going to the bar/a pub on my own. I was talking to one of ds's friend's Dads a while back who was really impressed that I went to the bar when it was my round to get drinks for us - he said some of his other female friends don't like to go to the bar on their own???! . Although I've just realised this may get them out of buying the drinks, so maybe not such a bad thing after all..!

I worked occasionally in the gift shop of a tourist attraction. There was a section of pocket money toys. My boss had it carefully arranged in "girl's" and "boy's" toys. Think pink pencils with glittery feathers v dinosaurs and slime. I did challenge her on it but got nowhere so I used to move it around when she wasn't looking.

I am going to do better at this. I'm not a parent and don't see my nieces and nephews enough, sadly. But I'm going to consciously do better at this generally.

When I worked in a country store I would act confused and surprised when people rejected pink or flowers for their male animals or children. They would look at me odd and say "it's a bit girly" and I would say "Is it?" I hope it made some of them question a little. The saddest thing was a little boy who wanted butterfly wellies but his father refused rather aggressively. I didn't know what to say then to be honest. Not and keep my job as well.

This is where I really struggle.
I’ve always worked too, of course.
But I think society in general is anti woman, and anti family. I don’t think children’s first steps should be witnessed by childcare workers. It really should be by one or both parents or a family member. You’re lucky her dad was home at the time.

I’m finding it hard to picture the society I’d like my children to grow up in.

I was very sad that despite my micro (and macro) feminisms my daughter pointed out that I should have been at home to see her first steps rather than her dad as "mums should be at home and dads should be at work". I've always worked and so do most of her friends' mums so I'm genuinely saddened that as a primary aged child she already has this message ingrained.

I kept my name when I got married too. I was the first of my friends to get married and just assumed that was the done thing. I was a bit when one by one, every woman I knew who got married changed their name. I’m not sure what the trend is these days.

Sassh no but I will.

I put DS on a weapons ban some days - no nerf guns, swords, toy soldiers, Lego people have to hand them all in etc - to change his normal narrative of good vs bad.

I kept my lovely name too.

On my database, even though no one else sees it, I write parent rather than mother or father.

I’m so proud of myself! Today a boy jumped ahead of my dd on the playground. Normally I tell her to just move aside and let him finish afraid she’d get hurt. But today we both stood firm with our arms crossed so he couldn’t play until my dd had had her turn. Thanks all! I won’t allow her to be pushed aside again.

Reading this makes me realise I have got lazy and have stopped fighting back.
I'm 60 and was doing all these things when I was 20. Had DC in my late 30s and was very conscious of avoiding gender stereotypes when they were young. DS1 was allowed to wear a pink tutu and his favourite toy was a kitchen. DS2 had dolls and a pram. Just because that's what they liked to play with.

I don't bother making a point any more and I should.
I bought a new bed today and when the salesman took the details he asked whether it was Miss or Mrs. In the past I would have said Ms or Dr just to annoy him and today I just said Mrs.

I will try harder from now on.

We cross when we see the green lady. I have to credit DD age 5 with that one.

A work, I address formal letters as 'dear madam / sir', not the other way around!

This. I'm so pleased I'm not the only person who does it.

I need to start doing the female animal thing with my DD. It's just so ingrained to say 'he'!

Great to hear about this being more that just a thing females do. So good to hear from PPs who are enlightening their male family members.

LOVE THIS THREAD!

I've only recently started pointing out sexism to my DH since our childten have got older, it feels even more more important now!

When playing with dressing up clothes we tell them they are just that - dressing up!

I don't tell my DD to sit in a more ladylike manner but do encourage her to keep her pants covered, as I do with DS's.

I'm getting better at owning my space.

I praise my Dd for the effort she makes & accomplishments with her school work & hobbies.

I make a point to praise my my ds's for being kind, gentle & helpful.

I point out when yet again the women to men ratio on panel shows, comedy line ups etc are out of balance.

I also point out the size & shape difference of clothing, especially childrens clothes for males & females - girls shorts are shorter & narrower etc to both my DH & DC.

If the sex is unknown I try to assume female (still working on this!)

Recently had a conversation with DH about women keeping their mobile phones in their back pockets, he thought it was a 'fashion' choice until I pointed out that the front pockets on women jeans are normally fake. After a moment he said 'I suppose it's because you all have handbags!' This was said sarcastically because I hardly ever use handbags :) he's getting it more & more now & will point out injustices to me now lol

@Verbena87 Thank you! I have the rebel girls one but will order the boys one too. There was also a book about Ada Lovelace on the same page as that link which looks great

try and engage my toddler son with role play games about taking care of people/being kind/social situations with dolls etc Try and involve him as much as possible in the every day running of the house: he helps prepare his food and clean up, helps with washing, always comes to supermarket to buy the food and cross things off the list.....
I like to think I will be raising a man who can actually care for himself and is able to communicate his emotions well. And a man who does not subconsciously assign parts of life away to women.

Twitter have #microfeminism

DD is growing up with both parents working full time, a father who pulls his weight with household chores without having to be prodded about it and who just sat down and sewed her Rainbows patches on her uniform. DD didn't find this surprising, which pleases me!

She told me that the England women's football team are more successful than the men's

I am on a one-woman mission to break the mum-monopoly on anything school-related - DH is on our class WhatsApp group (the only father ), I make sure to always refer to 'parents' and encouraged fathers to volunteer for the summer fair (only DH did from our class, but we're only in Yr1 so we have time!)

We are building up DDs collection of Little People, Big Dreams books - she loves them

And when I went out for a walk at lunchtime today, for the first time I consciously didn't give way on the pavement - I felt strong as the group of men walking towards me taking up the whole width parted and let me through. I did say thank you, but that's just polite, isn't it