Wedding!! Sister being walked down aisle by brother

She is well aware of my views on this Except it isn't YOUR wedding, so YOUR views are pretty much moot

Thanks for the second post. So sis is choosing a brother because she thinks the community would disapprove, not because that's what she wants? After they've probably seem Megan and Harry's wedding this may have been the ideal time to walk down alone or with her mum and break away from tradition.

And as for everyone wittering on about DS and Dsis abbreviations - far better to just write it, they're silly anyway!

Not your wedding, not your day, not your choice. Have you ever considered that maybe she wants your mother & and the rest of the wedding focused on the joy of he wedding and not bring the attention to the fact that your father isn’t able to be there. Have you also considered you’d DS is working overtime to just keep the peace?
Weddings + families = nightmares.

Respect your sisters decision and don’t be an overbearing nightmare.

”it rankles me as looks at if I approving this charade.”

It really doesn’t! It won’t occur to anyone to wonder whether you or anyone else approves the choices your sister has made. And if they are weird enough to wonder whether you’ve given your approval, they won’t assume from the fact that you are a bridesmaid that you have approved it.

Alright the op has had enough of a dressing down already don’t you think?

Is your approval something that features in someone else’s wedding arrangements? I don’t think it is, is it?

Not your wedding, not your choice.

it rankles me as looks at if I approving this charade. In the most high profile event I have ever been at - big wedding like 300 guests.

You seem to be massively exaggerating your role in the wedding. Trust me, no-one views the bridesmaid as leading the procession or thinks that she has anything other than a very minor role, and no-one cares a jot about her political views.

I think you can relax on one point - nobody ever looks at the bridesmaid/maid of honour and thinks that because you walk up the aisle you had a say in one single detail of the wedding

hardie, respect for coming back after a whole eight pages of being told you're wrong! Fwiw, I don't think many disagreed with your position and views, but agreed that it just wasn't the time and place to be pressing them. I hope that despite the difficult stuff, that you never really avoid with family life, you all have a really lovely day, and your sister has a long and happy relationship.

I agree that a wedding isn't the time for a confrontation over personal views, but I wish there were more sympathy for the OP (noting that the person who started this thread hasn''t posted again). I mean, this is a feminist issue, the idea that a wedding features a woman being handed from one man to another. It's a custom that means something, and someone with a feminist outlook isn't likely to approve. But I think the most reasonable way to handle it is "If this is what you really want from the family, I'll do my part."

Just butt out and let your sister have her wedding the way she wants it. "She's well aware of my views" - yeah, I bet she is. You sound like a bossy control freak. I wouldn't want you as my bridesmaid. You may have posted in Feminism Chat, but hell, there's a time and a place to make a feminist point - but your sister's wedding is neither.

No response from OP. I'm wondering if in fact this was a post from a journo hoping to elicit a bunch of mad feminist responses insisting that the brother be told to sling his hook, and they've now given up in disappointment.

My Dad died of cancer 10 years ago, he never met my now DH. He always wanted to give me away at my wedding and be a Grandad and cancer robbed him of both of those things. I asked DB to give me away as that was what I wanted and what my Dad would have wanted too, DB did a great job at ripping me in his speech and paying tribute to Dad. It really is absolutely none of your business what your DS chooses to do at her wedding and if anyone had tried to tell me I was making a patriarchal decision about my wedding I would have been very annoyed putting it mildly!

Aw, Rainbow that’s lovely.

I didn’t consider my dad to be giving me away, just him having an important role in my wedding.
There was so much emphasis on my mum (by my Mum!) being the mother of the bride and her outfit, hair, make up, etc, that he probably felt a bit sidelined in the lead up to it.
Sitting in the car on my own with him and walking down the aisle together made me realise we don’t get many opportunities to be together just us.
If I didn’t have my dad I knew I’d have asked my uncle, because we are extremely close not because he is male.

Wow how up your own arse are you? It is nothing to do with you who she chooses and as for the I'm leading 😂😂😂 you are not leading anything you are prelude to the main event... the bride!!!

kitchen, not biting on the 'other side' stuff. This isn't a thread about that issue. You definition of hate is probably as loosey goosey as all the other definitions floating about. Disagreement isn't hate. And the delightful assumption that I am unconnected to anyone who is vulnerable in the political debate you reference is pure ignorance on your part.

But, to underline, this thread isn't anything to do with that, so please, feel free to post about the topic, or start another thread about whatever it is you wish to scold me over and I will likely engage.

Don't add stress to your sister before her wedding.
As everyone else has stated its her wedding that's what she wants so suck it up and show her some respect.
The most annoying thing people can do when you're organising a wedding is project their opinions on to you and feel the right to do so because it's a wedding. Her day her way end of regardless of you objecting to it

Is it possible for you to have a relationship that doesn't involve trying to belittle an enemy?

An enemy? the drama of it all

OP if you are for real I hope you go back to your sister and say 'your wedding, your rules' and enjoy the day. Wedding prep seems to bring out the 'zilla' in many people and the oddest things appear to take on an importance they actually don't in reality.

Well that's me told off (again), first time with everyone else for not being feminist enough, this time for using female socialisation and smilies to try and de-escalate an aggressive poster

kitchen you are derailing this thread, and making some unprovoked personal attacks, I understood that tends to be frowned upon by MNHQ

She's keeping to traditions and that's absolutely fair enough!! Her wedding, her choice!

I think when it's a family member who wants something you don't believe in, and it's not immoral or something, you just have to go along with it. Maybe you can say "My feminist instincts are rebelling against this, but it's your show, and I'll do my part."

Ha. Will the vows include the word "obey"? You might have to run out of the church.