Reality check

Misogynists seem to see their partners as empty vessels with no minds of their own.

Don't they just? And, in my experience, they are completely unable to hide it. You'd think they'd at least try, but they never do.

Classic DARVO there, Damn. The threats, the violence all go one way, mate.

PurpleCrowbar
Mrs Damn rejected 'everything she'd learned about transexuality', did she?

Presumably meaning everything Damn had told her. Bit like when I was seven or so I evaluated further information & concluded that 'everything I had learned' about Father Christmas might benefit from a critical review.

Making snap judgements based on zero information again. Par for the course, I suppose. No, I didn't tell her very much, because I thought it would be much better for both of us if she got an unbiassed picture. Which she did, at first. She read books and articles — she passed some of them on to me, and I learned from her. It was a shared journey into the unknown. It was a journey neither of us wanted to make, but we were making it together. She came with me when I went to see my GP, and again when I went for my first psych appointment. It was OK — for both of us.
But then she found Mumsnet.

But I don't want MN shut down out of revenge. That would be pointless — it's all in the past now ... water under the bridge. The reason I want Mumsnet shut down is because of the harm you are doing to other people — other families, trans kids, kids of trans, partners, parents, and friends as well as trans people.

If you would stop attacking us, then there's no reason to want you shut down. But you have made it clear that you won't.

But it is your choice. That's the big differences between trans people and the anti-trans movement.

We don't choose to be trans. You do choose to be transphobic.

The husband of a friend of mine blamed me for putting ideas into her head. He threw me down the stairs. She was divorcing him because he'd put her in hospital several times, but he couldn't believe she could make such a decision without my influence.

God that man hated women. I heard he died, alone and alcoholic, a few months back. His DC hadn't seen him for well over a decade. Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke.

Misogynists seem to see their partners as empty vessels with no minds of their own.

Absolutely. Well said.

my ex and I were working through a civilized break-up ... until
she got suckered into the MN anti-trans board

Long before the internet existed, my abusive ex would tell me that any idea I had that he didn't like had been put there by one of my friends. It was one of the most insulting things that had ever been said to me.

Misogynists seem to see their partners as empty vessels with no minds of their own.

And yes, you should have reported your wife's attack to the police, Damnthat, but no way are you a woman or you would realise that we aren't like small children falling in with a bad crowd.

Certain

I'm just glad that the new guidance has engendered a climate of civilised and respectful debate.

Honestly it's going SO well. I think MNHQ should run some kind of change management course.

Wow, this thread is an incredibly useful eye-opener.

I'll post it again and highlight the bit where it says "isolation". Anyone wanting to supervise your speech should be removed from your life asap.

Yy Sophocles, 100%

My ex hated me having any female friends at all. Long before MN.

One of many reasons they are an ex, the abusive behaviour was just too much.

Funny how they just can't let it go...ticks every box on the power and control wheel.

Mrs Damn rejected 'everything she'd learned about transexuality', did she?

Presumably meaning everything Damn had told her. Bit like when I was seven or so I evaluated further information & concluded that 'everything I had learned' about Father Christmas might benefit from a critical review.

Also, echoes of Swim England & their 'educating'. Some people do love to school women in rightthink.

Mrs Damn rejected 'everything she'd learned about transexuality', did she?

Presumably meaning everything Damn had told her. Bit like when I was seven or so I evaluated further information & concluded that 'everything I had learned' about Father Christmas might benefit from a critical review.

Also, echoes of Swim England & their 'educating'. Some people do love to school women in rightthink.

yes, gendercritter.

My ex used to cast up to me in arguments that I was being brainwashed by mumsnet. Some men really don’t care for the idea of women talking amongst themselves.

We might get ideas!

The cat appears to have Damns tongue atm.

My ex hated Mumsnet.

It says quite a lot when someone does, I find.

Wow, it’s quite something to see Damn actually admit that they want to shut down Mumsnet!

I guess Damn has found common ground with the men's rights activists then. Which is unusual for a woman.

for Mrs Damn and for their daughters too.

Wow, it’s quite something to see Damn actually admit that they want to shut down Mumsnet!

I imagine they are regretting that because the optics are dreadful!

Thanks for your response Bowl. I'm genuinely sorry that you felt an edge of intimidation or threat from my raising the point. Absolutely none was intended to you or to any other poster.

I take your point about how would they know you were on mn etc. I suppose I was thinking that since GC was strongly associated right now with mn that it's the sort of educated guess that's night be made and then have to be followed up.

Olenna, again, the scenario could be a false accusation with malicious intent, but I take your point about limited resources of police. On the other hand, the fact there is bad shit going on does not mean that lesser shit is never investigated. And they have been known to plough enormous resources over long periods of time into investigation of activist groups.

For the record, I am NOT being goady. It's a perfectly valid conversation to have and some people are managing to talk to me without insinuating that I'm a goady fucker or abuser, which is nice. I have nothing to do with Damn, just happen to be on the same thread.

I'd imagine that they're gonna catch on soon too (if they haven't already) and start posting as "transpeople"

Damn, thanks for that post. Clarifies things.

Sorry you were assaulted and glad to hear you're on better terms with your ex.

Mumsnet has supported so many women during break ups that ‘LTB’ is probably one of the very first MN acronyms new members learn.

I suspect there are vast numbers of angry exes out there, many of whom have had revenge fantasies about closing down the forum.

The problem with transwomen making posts declaring this very thing is it does very little to convince average mumsnetters that opening up women’s sex segregated spaces to transwomen is a good thing. Quite the opposite, I reckon.