message to anti trans hate speakers

All my long life I have misremembered Purple Cow as belonging to Ogden Nash. There is another thing I stored like that, only a dreadful horrible thing. Brains can be tricksy.

Just had to google the whole song.
Warning, it's very long...

My Ding-A-Ling

When I was a little bitty boy
My grandmother bought me a cute little toy
Silver bells hanging on a string
She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling, oh

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

You know, then mama took me to Sunday school
They tried to teach me the golden rule
Everytime that choir would sing
Watch me playin' with my ding-a-ling-a-ling, oh

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

Once I was climbing the garden wall
I slipped and had a terrible fall
I fell so hard, I heard bells ring
But held on to my ding-a-ling-a-ling, oh

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

Once, I was swimmin' 'cross Turtle Creek
Man, them snappers all around my feet
Sure was hard swimmin' 'cross that thing
With both hands holdin' my ding-a-ling-a-ling, oh

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

This little song, it ain't so sad
The cutest little song you ever had
Those of you who will not sing
You must be playin' with your own ding-a-ling

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

Your own ding-a-ling, your own ding-a-ling
We saw you playin' with your own ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, everybody sing
I wanna play with my ding-a-ling
I wanna play with my ding-a-ling

Chuck berry

Ah - I've found a Nash which may be a parody of Cow...

The Abominable Snowman

I’ve never seen an abominable snowman,
I’m hoping not to see one, 
I’m also hoping, if I do,
That it will be a wee one.

But shortest is 'Fleas' :
Adam
Had'em

thebewilderness
Typo. It should have said

cuntyballs of the first degree

If I'm going out, I'm going out cursing lol

Here's a nice short Nash

Celery, raw
Develops the jaw,
But celery, stewed,
Is more quietly chewed.

He wrote wonderful nonsense poems, Ogden Nash

Yes, but 'purple cow' wasn't one of them - apparently someone called Gelett Burgess, who also invented the word 'blurb'.

Oh you silly sausage
But, not
For your sausage
Is not what defines you
It is an inverted femme-hole
That cries, milky tears
Which drip from your bedevilled crotch-tits
And send
Confused packages of spent DNA
Into your silky knickers.

A cuntyballs of the first defree

I see.
That is a whole other thing then innit?

thebewilderness
Girly man was used in my part of the country to describe an effeminate man, he he gay or not, being a man over 25 living at home with your mother was grounds to be a girly man
Cuntyballs was something more, Used to describe men and women, it was and is used to describe any and every type of behaviour which is deemed to be unacceptable.

My Hoover, fridge, oven, husband, kids (under my breath), far, front door, notte, fatta, Brother and sister and menu more thing have been reale e to ne a cuntyballs at one time or another.

Even that kamikaze pièce of paper that decides to give you a paper cut?

A cuntyballs of the first defree

He wrote wonderful nonsense poems, Ogden Nash. I loved them all when I was a kidlet.

There are some tribute cow poems here www.thedickinson.net/the-purple-cow-poems.html

The poet who wrote 'the purple cow' quoted upthread got pissed off with its success so he followed it with this:

Ah, yes, I wrote the “Purple Cow” –
I’m sorry, now, I wrote it;
But I can tell you anyhow
I’ll kill you if you quote it.

Amalfimamma
It sounds like a variation of the girly man insult.
Our half of the population has been the go to insult for the other half of the population for a thousand years.

AngryAttackKittens

Maybe "arsehole" will eventually be the only insult allowed, since everyone has one of those.

I'm from a specific part of the country. The first insult I learnt was and is used only there, and it's not even as bad as arsehole where I'm from tbh,

cuntyballs

Bern used for generations (I remember my great great gran using it often), in every situation, and from a time when a transman was a dyslexic man who works on trains.

I reported this thread as spam last night and got an email today saying it had been deleted and the OP given their marching orders!

OP definitely got their marching orders but maybe MN wanted to keep the poetry!

From a place, soon unnamed
Into a world that doesn't want me
For all life's problems I am blamed
Still my usurpers mock and taunt me.

They want all that once was mine
And try to climb inside my skin
My protests fall upon deaf ears
Soon I'll be forced to let them in

Nameless, homeless, wordless, lost
Soul screaming into the abyss
Allies know they'll pay the cost
If they don't learn to call me Cis

If truth can be erased by lies
And facts can be replaced by fear
Who'll protect the ones that hide
From those who love to point and jeer

Keep talking truth, talk loud and long
I'll be there walking by your side
Keep our revolution strong
Increase the swiftness of our stride

We are Legion, our strength, grown
We'll not be cowed by mindless threats
Because we do not stand alone
Do your worst, we're not done yet.

So, notwithstanding dubious racist tweets, would we then be able to call Alan Sugar arsephobic for making statements like "As sure as there's a hole in my arse..."?

Sorry, laughing so much couldn’t type vogon.....

Of course Skeptical, it had to be done.

@Battleax rofl Voronezh alliance

well actually some people are born without you inconsiderate bigot! I identify as 100% arsehole free!

@DancelikeEmmaGoldman

Rofl rofl can I steal that?

AAK
Self identifying as arsehole free