I want to talk about a book I read years ago that really changed the way I live my life and cintinues to give me courage when I feel daunted by doing the right thing. Little thank you first to KaiserThiefs for inspiring this thread.
It is called something like 'women of the third reich'. An american student who was fluent in german and couldnt understand how so many ordinary people had been complicit in the holocaust and was certain she would have been different decided to do a research project interviewing women who had lived in germany throughout the whole of the third reich (is that 33 to 45, can't quite remember). She interviewed jewish survivors, nazi party members, resistance, those for and against etc. It was fascinating. It was not how you would expect. There was a nazi who had refused to comply with orders to I think round up jews because she disagreed with it. The interviewer said how could you dare. She said everyone was used to me. I was always very outspoken I never changed from before the war to during. Conversely, there were people who hated the nazis but collaborated out of fear. Her conclusion was, people who stand up fof the small things are the most likely to stand and be counted when the potential repercussions get more serious I.e. if you cant stand for what is right when you are facing a few abusive words online, dont think for a second youll do it when a gun is pointed at your head. To those who say save yourself for the big battles, concede the small points. No! Because that is where the battle is won and lost.
Another point from that, your allies come from surprising quarters. Accept their kinship on the values you share without compromising those you dont. On a tangent from this but still related, find commonality with those who should be our allies but who dont call themselves feminists - there will be single issues they can relate to. Sex and gender might bore them but certain teachers in the girls swimming changing rooms wont etc.