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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

A temporary cessation of hostilities

355 replies

ScarletBegonias · 19/06/2018 09:40

I know how serious all this is – but there may be no harm in a little light relief from time to time.

So - has anyone else found themselves watching the football and fantasising about a game between Trans Rights Activists (or whatever they’d like to call themselves) and … shall we say … a Mumsnet Team of Everyday Radical Feminists? (Or maybe a team called Spartacus?) After all, there was a temporary cessation of hostilities at Christmas 1914 during which English and German troops apparently played football with each other.

Here are some extracts from how the commentary might go:

“That was a dangerous run by Munroe Bergdorf, neatly blocked at the last minute by AngryAttackKittens.”

“Keeper Jane Fae has put the knitting down in the corner of the net as Datun steps up to take the penalty.”

“SwearyGodmother has been shown a yellow card for something she said to the referee.”

“Bowlofbabelfish, Spontaneousgiventime, and LangCleg are in the wall as Paris Lees gets ready to take the free kick.”

“We can see how important the preparation was, with R0wantrees briefing the team on the opposition’s tactics in previous matches.”

“The referee is running over to an incident involving the realposieparker and Lily Madigan.”

You can paint your own mental pictures of what the spectators might look like!

Okay. Back to reality.

OP posts:
thebewilderness · 19/06/2018 18:14

This is the greatest sportsball competition I have ever attended!

WichBitchHarpyTerfThatsMe · 19/06/2018 18:09

This thread is hilarious, you lot are brilliant!

FermatsTheorem · 19/06/2018 17:56

The streaker turns out to be a transfoootiefan, assigned rugby (or possibly cricket) at birth and letting their oblate spheroid* privilege show unintentionally (streakers being v much a rugby or cricket thing).

*I take it we're still not allowed to mention balls

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 17:56

What's this? Team Mermaids' captain Green is laying prostrate on the turf.

She is saying that "God made a mistake" and that the match has already been won by Team Mermaids in Heaven. In spite of all the guardian angel police officers, Team Spartacus still have control of play.

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 17:56

Breaking news - apparently 3 police persons required to give up their helmets to provide intersectional coverage of the streakers assets.

Lots of chanting from the Mermaids supporters -"moobs are boobs" and "Down with MERF's".

West Yorkshire Police are now crowdfunding for new inclusive helmets.

Design competition to be held in conjunction with Mermaids who will adjudicate on the winning design.

Kettlepotblackagain · 19/06/2018 17:49

Another disruption...a streaker!

A woman - the type with a penis - at least we think so, it's a cold day, flies across the pitch, waving and cheering at the crowd! Moobs flapping in the wind, she is carried off by a Police person with a cervix.

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 17:48

@birdbandit

Grinwe are obviously just on the same train of thought!!!

AsAProfessionalFekko · 19/06/2018 17:47

Where is this being held? The Den?

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 17:46

The talented pundits are showing female socialisation and apologising where none was needed. Wink

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 17:44

Team Sportacus are unphased by the interruption and play continues.

birdbandit · 19/06/2018 17:42

Sorry @AtreidesFreeWoman I didn't see, your post, your commentary was much better than mine!

birdbandit · 19/06/2018 17:39

There seems to be someone invading the pitch, with a banner asking for Sportacus to be nice, use new words to describe the people who want them to burn in a fire.

It seems team Sportacus are a bit perplexed as to why they are being targeted by the banner, some are choosing to ignore and play on, and others appear to be offering a gin and a biscuit.

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 17:26

And we've had a pitch invasion by Team Appeasement captained by Garden.

Interestingly they only seem to be targeting Team Sportacus and the distraction has caused on opening on the left flank for Mimmymum to make a shot on goal.

Thankfully it came off the post in a deflection but it was a near miss.

Team Sportacus management are seen respectfully asking Team Appeasement to stick to their own group and game to play to continue.

Amalfimamma · 19/06/2018 17:14

To be honest I'm living the dream. Little or no fotte in the TV, no mad parties and no screams of goaaaaaaallllllllll to be heard at all hours.

And I get a sort of sadistic smugness when I do hear ppl. Discuss the world cup and talk badly about other teams. I just butt in with "at least they made it to the world cup. What happened to Italy?" with a "I'm a girl I don't understand football" innocent smile

SwearyG · 19/06/2018 17:10

Off topic but I stacked my first car to Three Lions. It was not dignified.

placemats · 19/06/2018 17:09

If ever England is failing and a goal is needed I always put on

It's coming home.

For all the great people I watch/watched football with. Live and on the telly.

xx

TerfsUp · 19/06/2018 17:08

GG, this is not the place for you to flog your thread.

TerfsUp · 19/06/2018 17:07

[Gah. I got my India's confused: the player should have been Willoughby, not Knight.]

As you were.

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 17:01

Team Sportacus for the win!

GardenGeek · 19/06/2018 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 16:56

New chant being heard from the Sportacus fans - they're really getting behind their team now....

It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming,
Women's rights are coming home

It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming,
Women's rights are coming home

Everyone seems to know the score,
They just know, they're so sure
That Mumsnets gonna throw it away, gonna blow it away
But it should be fair play,
'Cause we remember

Man Friday on our shirts
Feminists united
A hundred years of hurt
And we'll damn well keep on fighting

So many jokes, so many jeers
But all those "oh so near's"
Wear you down, through the years
But I still see Datun post on a thread
Read what Janice Turner has said
And sigh at Mumsnet back tracking

Man Friday on our shirts
Feminists united
A hundred years of hurt
And we'll damn well keep on fighting

GardenGeek · 19/06/2018 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Amalfimamma · 19/06/2018 16:45

Owen Jones is back with his mother in tow who's waving a rolling pin at the Spartacus team screaming 'let my son play with your balls".

He's seen smirking at the team

Wait. Here come the NUJ in hot pursuit of Owen's demanding their membership card back for his abuse of snark tones in his pieces.

He's not smirking now

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 16:21

Mimmymum stole the flag of the lineswoman, waved it around frantically and got herself in a tangle -all tied up in the police cordon and net - play is interrupted while the referee helps her out.

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 16:17

The red card is for Suzie but she doesn't seem to get what cutting in-front of means.

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