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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

A temporary cessation of hostilities

355 replies

ScarletBegonias · 19/06/2018 09:40

I know how serious all this is – but there may be no harm in a little light relief from time to time.

So - has anyone else found themselves watching the football and fantasising about a game between Trans Rights Activists (or whatever they’d like to call themselves) and … shall we say … a Mumsnet Team of Everyday Radical Feminists? (Or maybe a team called Spartacus?) After all, there was a temporary cessation of hostilities at Christmas 1914 during which English and German troops apparently played football with each other.

Here are some extracts from how the commentary might go:

“That was a dangerous run by Munroe Bergdorf, neatly blocked at the last minute by AngryAttackKittens.”

“Keeper Jane Fae has put the knitting down in the corner of the net as Datun steps up to take the penalty.”

“SwearyGodmother has been shown a yellow card for something she said to the referee.”

“Bowlofbabelfish, Spontaneousgiventime, and LangCleg are in the wall as Paris Lees gets ready to take the free kick.”

“We can see how important the preparation was, with R0wantrees briefing the team on the opposition’s tactics in previous matches.”

“The referee is running over to an incident involving the realposieparker and Lily Madigan.”

You can paint your own mental pictures of what the spectators might look like!

Okay. Back to reality.

OP posts:
Mogleflop · 19/06/2018 18:50

And the Reddit team step up.

Confusion abounds as they try to introduce American Football rules, staring outright at Team Sporticus who are necking the gin.

Both teams make it through the anarchy to agree on the pronunciation of the word "ball" - but whats this? Yes. Yes I'm hearing a time difference - and they're gone again.

SwearyG · 19/06/2018 18:49

Oh wait, is it going to be a save? In an interesting turn of events sanctimonious handmaiden steps in to fight for women and girls. Saves what could have been a game changer.

Tinlegs · 19/06/2018 18:47

Everyone is screaming for a level playing field but big pharma - the financial clout behind Team Mermaids - will have none of it. They are bringing on a new player, Tess Tosterone, who is being used as a last minute boost to the team's chances.

SupermatchGame · 19/06/2018 18:46

Yes let's all laugh at the trans people.

SwearyG · 19/06/2018 18:44

It’s getting heated now as team Sportacus are crying foul. Again. It seems that Jane Fae, turning up for all the teams as it means Jane gets to be on telly, is subbing for Mermaids and has skewered a FPA on their knitting needle. The FPA doesn’t deflate as all the hot air is retained by its former host. Jane runs down the pitch with it and lobs the FPA, knitting needle and all, at goal. So many of team Sportacus are complaining to the ref that there’s a chance it might even the score...

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 18:43

My poor dogs keep jumping up to make sure I'm ok. I'm weak!

Mogleflop · 19/06/2018 18:42

I know everyone says this - but I'm literally laughing so hard I can't sit up.

I love you all.

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 18:41

Mimmymum is completely discombobulated by her attempts to control the game earlier that backfired, she refuses to step in.

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 18:41

Chaos on the Mermaids team as Munroe Bergdorf doesn't turn up to take theirs.

Oh good lord, I've just sent a load of snot flying.

Kettlepotblackagain · 19/06/2018 18:41

Lang GrinGrin

LangCleg · 19/06/2018 18:38

It's all come down to the penalties.

Chaos on the Mermaids team as Munroe Bergdorf doesn't turn up to take theirs.

Kettlepotblackagain · 19/06/2018 18:37

The student union outside the stadium is getting louder.

Tabitha, an lgbtq gender fluid, gender binary, non cis, poly gender, student reading Kardashian Studies at the University of Another Realm is getting angrier and angrier at Sprotacus' goal and righteously rallies the NUS to arrange a fight with the GC Feminists after the game.

boldlygoingsomewhere · 19/06/2018 18:37

Is there an illegal substitution going on? Bunce is coming on as a sub but we don’t know for which team.
Match officials need to check which day of the week it is....

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 18:34

The demonic looking grin of someone trying to make their heavy masculine jaw look more lady-ish in photos, whilst looking sultry at the same time.

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 18:31

The FPA (formaldehyde pickled alternative) is a lot smaller so the Mermaids team captain gives their players golf clubs. They look over at Sporticus and grin...

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 18:29

SwearyG Grin

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 18:28
Grin
SwearyG · 19/06/2018 18:26

Team Mermaids are now claiming that the SPOF has been tampered with and are appealing to the Uber-Uber match officials, LGBTLD. They spend a very long time explaining that they don’t understand whether the SPOF has been tampered with but think that they should be in charge of deciding whether to change them. After another boring and inaccurate monologue they offer an alternative, stronger, formaldehyde pickled alternative.

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 18:23

And Parker gets one in the back of the net for Sportacus.

Tinlegs · 19/06/2018 18:21

She thinks she has scored. She appeals. No. She has not scored. Lesbians are not interested in being scored with by Caitlin and her pals.

Tinlegs · 19/06/2018 18:19

Caitlin Jenner has just run past with the spof on the left flank, the spof on the right flank has been left on an operating table in Thailand.

AsAProfessionalFekko · 19/06/2018 18:18

Who are those people at the back with balaclavas and banners? Cheerleaders?

KatVonSweet · 19/06/2018 18:15

This is a public service announcement.
All match toilets are being picketed by the National Union of Students trans committee.

Its their way or a wee in the car park behind a bush I'm afraid.

Kettlepotblackagain · 19/06/2018 18:15

Kelly Maloney has offered to be the new Manager of team TRA

Two furry spheres were spotted swinging from the streakers back view as she ran across the pitch by someone with binoculars. A fourth helmet was needed to provide modesty- a child with a 'Cycler' Ken doll was able to provide this which covered them most sufficiently.

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 18:15

Other Mermaid team members get close to Sporticus players to whack them with their tails when no one is looking. The VR sees one incident and calls foul the Mermaids call Mermaidphobia.

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