Male colleague - views on changing name

Even so, I'd at her have my father's name than my FIL's name! I didn't change my name as I just couldn't go along with the misogyny involved.

Oh and as a mixed race woman, my F has a 'slave name' so it would have been the same of a white plantation owner originally - I have asked people to explain how that is a feminist choice which can be pleasingly awkward....

I have had this and I reply

"I chose to have a family name rather than keep my sexist fathers name, what has it got to do with you?"

If you get on with your DF you can adapt it.

All names are mens names, saying being the same as your DH not your father is sexist is illogical.

I’m planning on taking my DPs name, but it wasn’t assumed and I’ve really assessed why I’m doing it and decided it’s right for me. That’s my choice as a feminist

Why? Why is it right for you to give up your name (assuming your name isn't Higginbottom-Smellie) but not for your partner to give up his?

He’s not a feminist, he’s a bloke.

Doesn’t sound like an ally either.

Having said that, marriage did originate from a misogynistic, patriarchal system where women were given away to their husbands, hence the name change.

On the flip side, it’s 2018. Marriage doesn’t mean what it did, despite the origins.

So says me, a married woman who changed her name (because I disliked my own). You can participate in a tradition and be aware of its origins or what it represents forcwomen in different countries/cultures.

A bit like how socialisation of girls to wear makeup is bullshit - but I still like a bit of slap.

I wouldn't laugh at you but unless one's own surname is awful or there are reasons one might want to distance oneself from an unpleasant birth family I can't think of any other valid reasons to give up one's name.

I don't think he is being misogynistic about this. I am always disappointed at the alacrity of so many women to jump at the chance to go through the hassle of changing their name.

Yeah

He is a twat

Ignore

Fucking bellend...

He's not a feminist if he feels he can judge women for making a totally legal and normal choice. I didn't change my name when I married, but my attitude to the whole thing centres around it being a choice, I would only disapprove of a name change if someone (usually a woman) had been forced into it and was unhappy about it.

He’s an idiot, think no more of it. As PP said he’s just trolling you. Ignore.

I’m planning on taking my DPs name, but it wasn’t assumed and I’ve really assessed why I’m doing it and decided it’s right for me. That’s my choice as a feminist.

Just my guess. He's not a feminist, or an ally. He's a real life troll who is using the social cover of feminism to spray a little sexist harassment around and make you question yourself. Don't waste any mental energy on what the prick says.

Spray and walk away.

I would regard his attitude as misogynist but it does highlight that if the feminists create situations where people have to show a birth certificate to access women-only spaces that will significantly disadvantage women like you.