"Planning my wedding as a non-binary bride"

Jeez, the author must have zero female friends. I mean, if she knew any other women, had had any conversation about life, marriage, society's expectations with her mates over a beer then surely she would have found a bucket load of kindred spirits seeing as how she's described how pretty much EVERY woman feels. Not that I know what every woman feels like but I know my friends and female colleagues feel similar.

Heresy because they're pushing the boundaries of accepted definitions and loving telling the rest of us how we're all so square. Etc etc. Some people are stuck at the age of about 14 as far as I can tell, never grow out of the teenage self obsession, self analytical phase. The rest of us get up, put clothes on according to our tastes and get on with our actual lives.

p.s
love the Grace Kelly dress pics!

Or going away dress even

Grace Kelly's gping away dress

I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs of this. it made no sense to me. her "struggle" seemed to be the exactly the same as mine (a mid 40's woman with kids) and the same as my daughter's (a teenager) and the same as most other women I know who have struggled with the grind of having to play at being feminine when you just can't be arsed or feel you are doing it because a man has asked you to.

Yet none of us identify as binary. What on earth makes a person binary? Is it just not liking wearing dresses (except when you choose one that is unconventional?) In that case call me binary.

Meh! Self indulgent rich kid shite.

Nowhere near Jayben Desai-at-Grunwick-kind-of-struggle.

This would all be forgivable silliness which we could be nice about if it wasn't proselytising a reactionary and oppressive view of gender which delegitimises non-feminine femaleness, encourages gender-dysphoric girls into a lifetime of medicalisation and is destroying the lesbian community

Just to be clear, I think gender dysphoria is a sane and appropriate response to being socialised as a female in a patriarchal objectifying rape culture like our own. All this drivel about grace kelly dresses being non-binary is preventing us from having a sensible conversation about this.

And Katharine Hepburn was doing non binary long before this lot.

I adore Grace Kelly too. Not got time to look for a pic but Rear Window is one of my favourite films - her outfits are part of the story.

It's just another flavour of Bridezilla - "Non-binary Bridezilla" (bit like - in fact a lot like - Barbie dolls).

So self obsessed. My cousin was what we used to call a tomboy and wore a trouser suit for my wedding. I remember noticing it because I was thinking if she did wear a dress it would be the first time I'd ever seen her wear one. But she just wears what she wants without all the angst and the attention seeking, without making it into a thing.

Narcissistic, self-absorbed twaddle.

Look at MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!

Non-binary is under that trans umbrella and so this person might be trans. However, that would depend on whether they identify as trans. In fact, they could be nipping under and out from the trans umbrella depending on their mood. A sort of having your (non-wedding, or wedding, you choose) cake and eating it.

Grace Kelly (being "non-binary" - bet she didn't know that)

Grace Kelly

For God's sake!

OP I too feel sorry for the author that she feels ‘other’ when actually there’s no ‘one way’ to be a woman.

Has anyone read ‘trans like me’ by CN Lester? I’ve not read it because I’m not sure I’ll get past the first few pages, but if it will help me understand this better I’m willing to pop down the library to borrow a copy.

What lass said

Get a grip FFS. The article is about someone who identifies as non-binary so has nothing to do with trans.

The only "struggle" I can see is the one that the subject of the article appears to have, in that they don't appear to understand contradictory terms!

Oh look it’s yet another transphobic thread. You lot with your negative comments are so judgemental. Live and let live. You don’t understand someone else’s struggle do you?

No it iz not a transphobic thread. It is a thread about the utter narcissism of someone who makes such a song and dance about not wearing a white wedding dress and who thinks wearing a dress based on Grace Kelly dress is non- binary

Those are stunning dresses, the wedding was probably beautiful, and I wish the author the best.

But this article confused me... especially this bit:
"As I got older, I learned more. The words we used to talk about queerness changed; the people I dated were more accepting and open-minded. I liked dating men because I could borrow their clothes. As I settled into what I am, I changed my terms: I identified as a dyke, a tomboy. Underneath those secondhand plaids and Carhartt overalls, though, was somebody who was still wearing the wrong body."

I have total empathy towards feeling alienated from your body... But how can the apparently female-bodied author have identified as a "dyke" (which I've always understood as a slightly offensive term meaning "lesbian") when they're talking about how they enjoy dating men throughout the article? Am I missing something?

Well I don't get this stuff, who in hell cares. Generations of women have felt feminine/not feminine/gay/straight/nothing in paticular.
So just because she doesn't feel what she thinks all the other women feel she's some kind of special? She's very self indulgent. People in general are complicated and feel differently to each other, no need to slap a label on it, it's just being a person/human/one of the crowd/no one gives a shit.
I find this naval gazing, trying to figure it all out, very juvenile, like most 12/13 your olds

Oh look it’s yet another transphobic thread. You lot with your negative comments are so judgemental. Live and let live. You don’t understand someone else’s struggle do you?