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Original poster

Thank you and I'm sorry

36 replies

RebelRogue · 02/06/2018 13:05

First I want to apologise for wadding on this board a fee years ago thinking I knew everything and I had the right way. I refused to call myself a feminist,I was an equalistHmm.

I did not see the problem with porn,prostitution ,trans etc. After all we were talking about having a wee and a woman has the right to choose what she does with her body. I was cocky and confident and accused people of being judgmental

. I recognised there were some issues and Women’s rights had far to go,but firmly denied there were as many issues as the posters on here claimed.

I was utterly annoying I assume with my constant toddler like "why?but why?"

And now I want to thank all the posters who in a painstakingly patient way answered all my why's. They sometimes got arsey,they got exasperated but they kept answering and explaining and debating. They gave examples and statistics and asked me in return questions that made me think.
And one by one my opinions shifted and I started to get it, I started arguing on the opposite side (very grateful I had replies I was once given when feeling out of my depth).

I admit I'm not quite there yet..still learning,still making connections,but I would never be where I am now without the women on here.

I know you're sick and tired of this,I know it's not your job to explain and educate (especially in a safe space for like minded people) ,I know it gets frustrating but you do make a difference.

Thank you and I'm sorry...

OP posts:
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Stickitupthebunting · 03/06/2018 15:16

I am very similar to the OP, and have previously been called an MRA. (I stick by the view I explained on that occasion for the situation I was in, my stance was right for me. I now accept that it is probably not the right stance for the default, or for legislation. It was about allowing men to walk away from a pregnancy if they chose to very early on, allowing the woman to make her choices fully informed. I know this is controversial, as I said.)

However, I'd almost like to retreat to my previous "we just need to be nice to everyone!" stance, because it's how I'm socialised, and therefore more comfortable than the rage I'm now familiar with. I'm also uncomfortable with falling out with my very lovely "woke" friends, and aligning myself with misogynists like Jacob Rees-Mogg.

But I am very glad this place is here, or I'd not be half as informed as I am.

PartridgeInAFairTree · 03/06/2018 10:43

Also wanted to say thank you all. I've been lurking on here (finally name changed to dip my toe in the water as previous name is on a spreadsheet with age and location). Your willingness to debate, explain and engage has helped me to discuss trans and women's rights with a few people in RL.

You have changed my life and I'm glad of it. Thanks OP for bringing this up Thanks

DJLippy · 03/06/2018 00:09

Yeah but what about bannan's?
BERFS!

Waddlelikeapenguin · 02/06/2018 22:45

Flowers & Gin for all!

Ereshkigal · 02/06/2018 22:25

That's right Mrs M!

MsMcWoodle · 02/06/2018 22:21

Fruit salad people! Exactly.
They will introduce a durian into the proceedings to make us stop talking about the apples.
(Durian is the one that smells like shit, right?)

PermissionToSpeakSir · 02/06/2018 21:49

I love threads like this and OPs like this.

Flowers
Picassospaintbrush · 02/06/2018 21:37

Me: Fucking fruit salad people!hmm

Fucking word salad people.

It is joy to be here.

I was just laughing about the crazy Cornwall threads (poor Posie) with my DS. He said it's the same on Marvel Comics threads. Kids just want to make up stories like what would a fight between Batman and AN Other Superhero be like and old men come by and start Wikipediaing rubbish at them, wrecking it all.

Original poster
RebelRogue · 02/06/2018 21:28

@MsMcWoodle ahh yes the "fruit salad" people.

We:talk about apples.
What about the bananas?
We: well we are talking about apples.
But yes but bananas suffer from x,y,z. And did you know oranges in other countries get A?
We: what? Still..the discussion is about apples and our focus is apples.
(Hand in ears lala) Speaking about oranges , I know some strawberries that went through y. They are very very nice fruit and you are close minded and exclusionary to only consider apples.
We: that's because this thread is about apples!!
Apples have been talked about enough!!! I have told you about bananas,oranges and strawberries. You are not listening!! I'll throw in some kiwis and cherries with a splash of whipped cream!there!!(flounces,then comes back repeat)

Me: Fucking fruit salad people!Hmm

OP posts:
MountainWitch · 02/06/2018 21:25

Oh yes CertainHalf I got my arse handed to me on a thread about mopping buckets. Very mumsnet.

Feminism chat is a mind expanding place.

Sarahconnor1 · 02/06/2018 21:25

Funny you should say that MsMcWoodle I've just replied to someone I'm not sure is a time waster/derailer or just naive to what's happening......... time will tell

AssignedPuuurfectAtBirth · 02/06/2018 21:22

We have all been through it Rebel

We are women who have supported women, supported gay rights etc. And have been compeletely bamboozzled by women having an issue with trans' rights.

So then, we eventually read the arguments to find out WTF is going on and find, after some time, that there is a serious problem.

The women on FWR have given me more of an education than I ever had at University. And not just about feminism. The level of intellect can seem formidable however I have found they are genuinely willing to share their knowledge. This is the new enlightenment

The Trans ideology is an attempt to persuade women to trade their rights for a more 'woke' cause. Rights should not have to be traded.

Welcome. Come over to the Bluestocking for a Gin

Keepithidden · 02/06/2018 21:22

Without the academics I would never have understood class analysis and be stuck in NAMALT hell!

MsMcWoodle · 02/06/2018 21:20

I am also one of the people who has been completely changed by this and it is good to see it working with other people.
Word of caution though. There are some people who come on here specifically to waste our time. I know that it's sometimes worth pursuing for the lurkers, but it really pisses me off when I see time being wasted that would be better spent in other ways. I know it's a fine line.

TerfsUp · 02/06/2018 21:15

Respect to you, RebelRogue.

I am one of the "oh, ffs. Educate yourself, you idiot" posters so I am glad that you received patient and helpful replies!

Original poster
RebelRogue · 02/06/2018 19:59

Ah yes he academics who are often accused of being intimidating and exclusive by using "big words". Great opportunity to expand my vocabulary and th meaning of their posts are quite easy to grasp even if you don't understand every single word.

OP posts:
Keepithidden · 02/06/2018 19:13

I second the thanks, I've learnt so much from Feminist Chat on MN. Seen the truth in the words and experiences of the posters, and gained massively from the academic and others here.

I will be lurking for a long time to come!

CertainHalfDesertedStreets · 02/06/2018 18:32

Tbh if you haven't had your arse handed to you anywhere on MN you're probably not trying hard enough.

I love this place so much. I wish it was real. Like with an intelligent feminist discussion over here and someone who could advise me about whether I should get a dog over there and an S and B room I could pop into to ask if my shoes are working.

But I digress...

Badgerthebodger · 02/06/2018 18:13

Fuck off you shit for brains troglodyte Grin

Big thank you from me to all the very patient, incredibly articulate and knowledgable posters here. You changed my life as well, rather than breezing through life untroubled by anything much, I’m now an active feminist campaigner who is at least trying to make change happen. Gin for all

Sarahconnor1 · 02/06/2018 17:52

Gacapa

Seconded

Gacapa · 02/06/2018 17:51

I love this place. There are women on the MN Feminism boards who change lives with their writing. I know they have mine. Phenomenal.

AnyFucker · 02/06/2018 17:37
Smile
LangCleg · 02/06/2018 17:22

you are one of the patient posters I remember from my lurking days!

Blimey! (And yay me!)

Sarahconnor1 · 02/06/2018 16:30

I actually want to use the words of Graham linehan (stolen from one of his tweets because I love it)

The answer is no, you fucking useless woke versions of the religious police

But I don't think it will help anyone lurking

BertrandRussell · 02/06/2018 16:27

I don't think you have anything to apologise for.....

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