Help me find the words to frame a retort when these things happen:
- Working as a manager on an event. A photographer has used the limited disabled car parking to broadside his Merc across several spaces and unpack his tripods. When asked to move he stated his intention to stay, quoting a connection with the landowner (who is not involved with the event). On further insistence from myself that it's disabled parking only in this area, he tells me that he has far more experience in events than I do (mine is 20 years), so that justifies his actions. I explain our duty to the law and he decides to pack up and leave without carrying out his work (which had been offered voluntarily).
- Teaching a beginners dance class. I offer some advice to one of the male participants on the basic couples hold. He tells me he won't do it like I describe, as he is too tall and it would injure me. I explain that I have danced (12 years experience) with plenty of partners his height and they all manage to do the basic hold in the way we are teaching it (which is the right way). His expresses disbelief and tells me that I don't understand that it wouldn't work and that he won't do it. He clearly believes that his height is unique and means he doesn't have to play by the rules.
Both of these men were white and in their early sixties. They were both clearly affronted at my actions and were keen to discredit my experience and authority.
I am left with a tacit understanding that they disregarded my instructions/requests on the ground of my being female, and younger (a bit) than them.
The older I get the more I understand why men act like they do. They have never been challenged. I'm so angry. They will continue to go about patronising women and quashing their opinions purely on the basis of their perceived superiority.
I would love just one retort to show that I KNOW where they are coming from and that I don't respect it.
Any thoughts?