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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Please change my mind : trans

307 replies

lurker33 · 29/05/2018 17:52

I've been lurking in the feminist boards for a while now, watching the discussions on trans. I am generally a live and let live kind of person, as long as it's not affecting anyone else adversely. Unfortunately I am coming to the conclusion that transgenderism is not a good thing; mainly because it appears to be reinforcing gender stereotypes. Why can't we have boys that like traditionally girls things and girls that like traditionally boys things?

Recently I was at an event where there were people who were talking about their experiences in a technical, male dominated area. 5 speakers were billed, two of which were women. Oh, well done organisers of said event I thought, for providing a well balanced panel of speakers, including two women who I could hold up as role models to my 8 yo daughter who had attended with me.

On further reading it transpired that one of the women billed was actually a transwoman.

How can I hold up a transwoman as a role model for my daughter, especially one who has transitioned late in life? My daughter won't have the same opportunities that a boy growing up will have, won't have to put up with the casual sexism us women all have to deal with, and quite frankly my daughter has nothing at all in common with this speaker.

It made me quite angry, which surprised me, and it dawned on me that calling transwoman a woman is actually an insult to women. I'll get flamed for this I'm sure but I can see a similarity to blackface where it's insulting for a white person to pretend to be black as white people are opressors of black people. It's insulting for a man to say he is a woman when men are opressors of women.

I do acknowledge the transwoman's struggle to be accepted for who they are, but that struggle has nothing in common with the struggle that women go though every day. Transwomen should be free to live their lives as they see fit but please don't think they have anything in common with women other than being part of the human race.

Transwomen are transwomen and are of the male sex, women are women and are of the female sex. There is nothing wrong with excluding people from a group if they don't have any attributes of that group. If you are insulted by scientific fact then perhaps you need to think again.

I am not sure what I am asking really. My female socialisation means that I feel slightly dirty for having come to this conclusion. If there are any transphilic people out there, I am happy to have my mind changed if you provide me with some coherent arguments as to why I shouldn't feel this way.

OP posts:
thebewilderness · 29/05/2018 18:21

I do acknowledge the transwoman's struggle to be accepted for who they are...

That is not the transgender identified males struggle.
The transgender identified males struggle is to be accepted as what they are not. They are already accepted as transgender.

busyboysmum · 29/05/2018 18:11

Makes sense to me.

I'm of the same opinion.

Beerincomechampagnetastes · 29/05/2018 18:09

Why do we need to change your mind 🤷‍♀️
You’re making sense to me.
That’s your female socialisation asking.

AssassinatedBeauty · 29/05/2018 18:08

I'm of much the same opinion. Really, the panel could have been 2 women, 1 trans woman and 2 men. Make men budge over to accommodate trans women.

gendercritter · 29/05/2018 18:07

I think a lot of people have been on the same journey you're on.

I wish no harm to trans people. I want to live in a kind world where diversity is celebrated and everyone is safe. But trans women are men and have totally different life experiences to women. It is so, so important to be able to say there is a difference. Women are still oppressed the world over. There is still lots of work for feminism to do. Trans rights are a completely separate thing.

BeyondSceptical · 29/05/2018 18:05

Hi lurker. I will wait with you - with baited breath - for a response that disagrees with you coherently... Grin

Would you rather we wait quietly, or would you like to chat while we do?

ToeToToe · 29/05/2018 17:59

Welcome to the club Thanks I feel the same as you.

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