Matricentric feminism - the need for feminism to recognise the experience of mothers

brought us Sheila Heti’s Motherhood, which explores the will I-won’t I decision all women face at some point

All women?

While working mothers are being stretched thin and asked to be all things to all people, women without children are quietly covering their maternity leaves or working unpaid overtime, expected to work evenings and weekends because they don’t have kids to go home to after all

Bit of a sweeping statement. My experience of having to deal with maternity (and paternity ) cover is everyone has to pick it up. There is a wonderfully naive belief that maternity and paternity leave can be covered by temporary hires. My department is currently planning for very likely maternity leave by a small over staffing.

I thought I'd achieved equality until I had a tiny, barely noticeable really, infant... It was a shock. Motherhood is when inequality kicks in. However, things can be done. Read recently that in a third of couples the woman is the higher earner. As soon as we could afford it, my DH resigned and became a SAHF. If this becomes mainstream it will gradually tilt beliefs and assumptions.

Oh and I’m not arguing that children need their mother. I’m simply arguing that this stuff involves an intersection of children and adults and given that motherhood basically is ‘accepting the responsibility by default’ in many ways it’s always going to require consideration of what children need AND what women need as well as undoing this ‘women do it by default’ stuff.

Oh god the typos.... 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thanks for linking this; have read the Guardian article and comments but now off to read the more detailed article. Really interesting stuff - thanks again!!

I don’t particularly care what name it is given.

I’ve been folly eyed at feminist speakers who believe the answer to oppression is to entirely do away with motherhood and put all children in state nurseries from birth. I’ve been rolly eyed at the circular logic of individualist feminist circular logic of what matters is women choosing and everything’s women do is a choice. I’ve been rolly eyed at the feminists talking about flexible working as the way out of oppression who were all puzzled when I pointed out this is makes zero difference to people with low economic status who cannot make demands of employers.

I agree it needs more attention.

One thing that has been absolutely clear to me in every circumstance where I have heard a ‘feminist’ position on the raising of children, is that the children’s rights and experiences have been completely absent from consideration.

Also, that the vast majority of speakers I have seen have been well off.

Personally, and I think this is actually true for all mothers, caring about the child’s experience is how women are trapped by motherhood. Women only get trapped into it because they care about what happens to the child once the father has made his decision. This is how their decisions and life choices end up being restricted by men’s choices.

I would like to see feminism acknowledge that really, that actually beyond the women’s rights where motherhood is concerned, children’s rights and development are important and can’t be simply ignored when we look to improve the rights and experiences of mothers.

Unless we can deal with that then motherhood will remain a trap.

Your link works absolutely fine from the app - I keep seeing people posting a perfectly good clickable link and then apologising.

I should be doing other stuff now, will have to come back to this.

There are a lot if sweeping statements on the article - like this one:

While working mothers are being stretched thin and asked to be all things to all people, women without children are quietly covering their maternity leaves or working unpaid overtime, expected to work evenings and weekends because they don’t have kids to go home to after all.

First a lot of women with children cover maternity leave and work evenings and weekends.

I think the more interesting parts of this are about women as carers. They are often caring for children and/or elderly parents/relatives

I remember my mother’s horror when my grandfather suggested he move in and she could care for him. After all she had just retired from work so what else was she to do?

Oh! Please do link. I think it's important.