A bare breast on a t-shirt at a conference

Girls, huh? So none of them ever became women, or are you just one of those people who calls women girls until they're 60?

@Maplesap1 If a t-shirt results in "crying and shaking" I'd suggest that any job is too much and perhaps they should consider a job working from home

Research PTSD. In any case, it seems that the "crying and shaking" was after the complainant attempted to discuss the tshirt with its wearer, who did not respond positively. There's a reason why we have the concept of "professional attire": to ensure that people aren't made unwelcome or threatened by what their colleagues wear to work.

well ive known women who have and also who havent been raped that would not want to see that tshirt worn casually at a professional conference. What is your point?

I have known girls have been raped. None are offended by these t-shirts.

i think if we want more women in tech, then they need to actually do some work on making tech environments less toxic to women, and calling out casual misogyny is important because its intimidating and adds to a culture of women both being seen as mainly sex objects and decorative rather than valuable members of the team. Whats the male to female ratio in that conference>?

@starzig It would absolutely not bother me for my daughter to see a man wearing a t-shirt like this. As I said her dad has plenty.

I pity your daughter that her own mother supports her objectification.

It doesn't put me off and unless she somehow becomes an overprecious twat growing up, it probably wouldn't put her off either

So rape victims who are sick of being reminded that some men think they are sex objects are "overprecious twats"? There's a special place in hell for complicit handmaidens like you.

Also, I'm so glad he was called out. We have to find the courage to speak up when it matters.

I have some butcher block counters at home. One area is so heavily stained by coffee and tea that when my son took a brown Sharpie to it and drew Spiderman, I hardly noticed and didn't say anything. Mama was not so cool several days later when the same stick figures appeared in red Sharpie on my antique Stickley sofa. My husband, ever the pragmatist, suggested that my son might not have continued with his art displays had there been a hefty consequence earlier on.

Some may think this shirt is not that bad. Others may say it's in poor taste, but defend his freedom to wear what he wants. I say, no. I'm done with free passes. This is misogyny. Name it. Call him out. Hold him accountable. If we do so, maybe he and others learn something and we change our culture.

And behold, the fully boiled lobster.

How on earth do women these days expect to feel empowered when people like this constantly undermine equality by acting like a stereotypical whinging, easy upset, fragile, precious women . Can nobody see this does more harm than the t-shirt in the first place. I definately don't want to work in a place where men are having to tiptoe around women.

The way I see it, if you're asking yourself if the problem in this scenario was the woman's reaction then you are essentially a lobster that's already in the process of being boiled. You've gotten used to the misogyny that permeates the tech industry gradually, and now you're used to a level that would make women outside that industry say "WTF? This is unprofessional and unacceptable". Since you are used to it and you've most likely given up on the hope of the men around you not acting like the scene in Revenge of the Nerds where the nerds go on a panty raid at the sorority house you're attempting to find a way to mitigate the worst effects of their behavior by dividing yourself and other women into the Cool, Reasonable ones who can take it to an extent and the Hysterical Wimmins who just overreact to everything and make you look bad.

This is a sign that the misogyny has already seeped deeply into your view of the world, and other women's reactions here are attempting to help you recalibrate your perspective in a way that holds men responsible for their behavior and doesn't throw other women under the bus. Whether or not you take those suggestions on board is up to you.

Metrorider. It would absolutely not bother me for my daughter to see a man wearing a t-shirt like this. As I said her dad has plenty. It doesn't put me off and unless she somehow becomes an overprecious twat growing up, it probably wouldn't put her off either.

His move was intentional and it seems to me, aimed at making a point to every woman in the room. THAT is how that man sees women- as sex objects laid out on his bed. The intellect of every woman in that room was being dismissed by him and every woman in that room should have been offended by it.
How much more powerful the message he got would have been if every woman in there walked out and refused to accept it.

He humiliated you all OP and you let him.

I'm especially bothered by an element in the original story, per the OP. The presenter apparently brushed off the shirt, citing he had flown in and didn't have time to change, rather "forgetting" he was wearing the item. If this indeed the case, I find it more troubling than if he had purposefully worn the shirt.

I get that sometimes men and women try to be "edgy," (we used to say "cool"), and push buttons to be provocative, seem far more interesting than perhaps they really are. I could definitely see a young, somewhat geeky male presenting at a tech conference thinking along those lines. If that's the case, it was wrong, he clearly showed incredibly poor judgment, the issue should be addressed and it is hopefully a learning experience for all about the importance of speaking out about what is right, choosing professional attire, etc.

However, if alternatively he really does just wear shirts with creepy semi-prepubescent naked females on them regularly, such that it was no big deal or NEVER CROSSED HIS MIND that this might be inappropriate, we have a bigger problem. His likely porn-soaked brain is so used to seeing women in such extreme states of humiliation and abuse, that a mere naked woman means nothing to him. Why would he even think twice about this shirt when he knows that a good majority of the attendees probably have far more graphic images right there on their phones?

The hypersexualization of our culture is fueled by porn. I am getting so damn sick of it. I get harassed for breastfeeding at the zoo and this fucker gets a free pass. NOT OK!

That image is much worse than I thought it was going to be....

The medium IS the message. The fact is that he chose to wear that t-shirt and disrespect every female in that audience.

I dont appreciate the tone of some posts, "hysteric pmsing dramatic woman vs poor jet lagged interesting innocent geek". Its pure misogyny. He wore it because he felt he could.

What a knobhead. He knew what he was doing wearing it. Why would you even buy or keep such a t shirt anyway.

I have worked in tech for 25 years. If a speaker had worn that t shirt I would have stood up and walked out and then spoken to them about it.

That shit isn't acceptable. I probably would have tweeted about it too. This is sexism and needs calling out every time.

I'm not too interested in her reaction. Sometimes things like this are the straw that breaks the camels back. Maybe it was her last straw.

I'm utterly bewildered that any man would want to walk around openly advertising images they masturbate to. If shirts like that don't scream wanker, I really don't know what else does.

Thought provoking reading this thread.
My initial reaction was that while a boob tshirt is inappropriate in any professional setting, the way that he was called out seemed extreme.

However, I haven’t had to deal blatant sexism within my working life (well not very often) and I haven’t had to make a public complaint, like the woman in this case, so I hadn’t thought through what that must feel like. In addition to the fact that the digital/ tech industry seems to have a huge problem with misogyny and sexism

Google "PTSD trigger" and maybe you will be able to dredge up some empathy.

A t-shirt can trigger PTSD?
If a t-shirt results in "crying and shaking" I'd suggest that any job is too much and perhaps they should consider a job working from home

you are falling into the trap of siding with misogyny instead of calling it out.

And it's the calling it out that gets you sobbing and shaking in the toilet. The OP has seemingly never challenged sexism before or they'd have way more empathy for the woman who had the courage to do so.

OP I find it odd that you're a woman in tech but are struggling with how problematic his behaviour was. You must be aware of the everyday sexism. You must be aware of revenge porn. You must be aware of rates of sexual harrasment. And yet you are making consistent attempts to minimise how inappropriate the man was.
Are you a woman? Because if so, you are falling into the trap of siding with misogyny instead of calling it out.

Have we not yet reached the part where it's womens' fault a man wore a tit t-shirt to deliver a talk on gangland teen crime yet?

You know.. teens gangs encouraged by violent, misogynistic, sexually offensive music that degrades women..? Or is there going to be a denial that this exists?

Putting an idiot like that on stage is endemic re the problem of those who claim oh so earnestly to want to help, but get it completely wrong. They're so invested in being 'cool', and right of course, that their stupidity doesn't even occur to them.

You can guarantee they're swerved by many in the field they claim to be expert in, and they don't do the real hands on work. Privilege gives them an opportunity to get up on stage and chat shit.