Being told to lighten up - how do you respond?

When I was younger, I occasionally got the 'smile, it may never happen' (when perfectly happy lost in my own thoughts') and had no compunction about sadly retorting 'it already has'. There's no need to put up with that sort of idiocy.

"Based on the skills I've seen so far, I'm at far greater risk when you are shooting at the goal [or somewhere in the opposite direction]"

I have that type of face that just looks very - well grumpy really.

The very best/worst comeback I ever had had was true, sadly, but mum would have hooted as she had a very dark sense of humour anyway.

'Smile!'
'Why? My mum died last night.'

Oddly enough 2 of my sisters had a similar thing when they were sitting outside organising for mums funeral.

'Cheer up, it might never happened, Ladies'
'we're planning mums funeral...'

"I know your Mam" tends to put the fear of God into anyone under twenty in my neck of the woods.

Kyanite yes I've had men drive their car "at me" a few times it's not good. One when I was young actually (very slowly) drive his car into me! I complained to his employer but nothing came of it (it was one of the vehicle recovery services).

In my experience when you respond with like the escalate like mad, probably due to pp point about backing down to a woman being simply not possible.

I jabs had men scream in my face, spit at me, follow me shouting, throw stuff at me, yell at me to "take it outside" ie have a physical fight, been pushed, pulled, had a pint tipped over my head...

I was punched in the face once but there was no previous interaction he just walked up and punched me in the face.

I have also had plenty of young men deliberately boot footballs at me, which I mentioned before a poster came on to point out that would never happen .

Just shows how off the mark men's risk assessments are, they literally cannot put themselves in our shoes and simply do not listen.

Woman know too well the anger some men show when women don't behave how they address supposed. Obviously, men have not experienced this. Add the ever present undercurrent of possibility of sexual assault, and advising a woman to stand het ground and give some verbal back, to a group of young men in a park, yeah great advice.

The proper advice surely is to leave , get away. I have certainly not advised my daughter's to get arsey if they feel threatened by a man or men, I have said just get away.

What kind of 19/20 year olds think it's funny to kick footballs at children?
They aren't teenagers are they, they're meant to be adults capable of voting and all sorts and that's the kind of shit that entertains them?.
I despair.

I take out my scrooch gun and give them a good blast.

That's really awful! I'm not sure what I would have said but I would have been very upset that someone suggesting harming my child.

I was once with my daughter when she was 3 or 4, looking at the rescued goats and turkeys down the road from us. We were next to the wire fence, standing on a very narrow strip of grass by the road. A couple of young idiot males were in a car coming down the road and the driver swerved towards us, hoping I expect that we would run or fall over or something. There was really nowhere for us to go in that time, we were against the fence, it all happened fast so I just stared at the driver. Thankfully he did straighten up and didn't hit us, his friend in the passenger seat looked shocked, so at least that was something!

I’m surprised your lioness didn’t kick in.
Small child strapped to your back + wanky teenagers = kill the fuckers.
Well done you for holding it together

Comebacks:

Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.

Being a dick won’t make yours any bigger

I am not going to be using self defence whilst carrying my 2 year old that’s nuts and kind of missing the point.

Any kind of physical altercation could have proven fatal for the child (eg falling backwards on DC). It is completely irresponsible to suggest taking the risk really.

While I would never shrug off episodes like this, careful analysis of the options and likely outcomes need to be considered. Always.

It bothers me that threats of violence from boys is dismissed as showing off, joking around, or wev.
It bothers me that threats of violence are dismissed.

What I know from experience is that they do kick the ball at you and then they expect you to pretend it was an accident.

@1doricgirl

You are certainly not unreasonable to object, and to post a report of what happened to you.

It is just so worrying that there are people who try to justify what you experienced as nothing to worry about.

Threatening your child and you - not threatening?!

There have been heavy attempts to gaslight you on this thread, by men.

I hope you are OK now.

I'd say it's extremely unlikely that he's going to physically attack you in that scenario.

I've lost count of the amount of times I've been physically attacked or threatened by men, particularly when I have challenged them. That is a scenario I would now walk away from as quickly as possible to try and avoid harm to myself and my child.

I would have turned to the boy and said ''yeah you kids carry on kicking the ball to each other,before yer called in for tea'' . Though just ignoring it might be best. In general they got out of the way and 1 idiot was just trying to show off

It's amusing that you find women not being interested in what you've got to say as "hostile".

He got that offended with a few words on the internet. It is a clear display that men don't take women standing up to them very well, and many will usually unleash violence to put women back in their places. So really, the majority here are right!

Having taught women self-defence and having known women who did exactly what I suggested as an approach with great success, I've a pretty good idea of what women are capable of, actually.

Which actually only works once someone (esp women) have been trained in self defence. As said above, empty threats or domination displays without the back up - completely useless.

Disingenuousness, and total and utter mansplaining, Oldman.

And repeated announced flounces that do not actually happen.

You still fail to address the crucial fact that OP was actually carrying her two-year-old child on her back, at the time of the threat by a man.

You have no idea what being a woman threatened by men feels like.

It's amusing that you find women not being interested in what you've got to say as "hostile". You've also incorrectly assumed that women here are advocated not saying boo to a man. In fact many women here have advocated a very firm response. Just not threatening violence.

Having taught women self-defence and having known women who did exactly what I suggested as an approach with great success, I've a pretty good idea of what women are capable of, actually.

I should have realized by the style that he was one of those guys.
A few used to show up in my unarmed defensive tactics class every year.

Questions are attacks now are they. Ok then.
I think so. My comment The question is, why are you speaking at all? (the implication being on a subject you know nothing about)
seems to be what set off the moaning and wailing about being attacked.

Having taught women self-defence and having known women who did exactly what I suggested as an approach with great success, I've a pretty good idea of what women are capable of, actually. Having been in many confrontations, I also have a pretty good idea of what generally works to prevent things progressing to physical violence. The point of my advice being how to prevent that. Plainly I have committed the unforgivable sin of suggesting women can be as capable as men. Are all women able to speak out or snap back at comments like this? No - some are not comfortable. But then neither are all men. If the OP is threatened by people in a public place, I recommend she consider my advice. Those of you who don't agree - you're welcome to but the level of hostility here is absurd and seems to be wholly based on the idea that women aren't capable of saying boo to a man. Which ain't my experience!

I've tried multiple times to disengage. But plainly this thread has now become useless. I'll leave you all to it. But for reference, I've seen women do exactly what I suggest with great success. It works. But clearly my female friends have a different idea of what women are capable of than some of you.