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Original poster

Finding/ starting radfem groups

62 replies

Merchfach · 15/05/2018 09:37

I'm just back from a long weekend away with a group of women, most of whom would call themselves feminists, whom I've known for several years. I didn't see Genderquake so when some of the younger women (30s) started talking about it I stayed out of the generally pro-trans conversation until one of them said that Germaine Greer ought to be silenced. I piped up to say that she held a valid point of view that represented many women and that I found it worrying to hear women trying to silence other women. One of the younger ones said: 'You'll be saying transwomen aren't women next' and I agreed that I would. It was downhill from there. At some point I was accused of misgendering someone and two young women walked out shouting that I was hateful and should be ashamed of myself. I asked a third party to mediate so that we could see if we had any common ground that we could build from and was told the young women would not discuss this subject with me. So, no debate. There's a surprise!

Most of the other women don't understand why what I said was so offensive but assume I must have said something dreadful to warrant such a response from educated and on the whole pleasant young women. I don't imagine I'll be invited to participate in this group again which saddens me.

I don't feel bad for saying what I think but I do feel battered and there's a tiny part of me wondering whether I've got this all wrong. I know I'll bounce back and there are a couple of people I'm in touch with on line who'll help me do that. But what I could really do with now is a local radfem group: women whom I could meet up with for some eye contact and a coffee and a reassurance that I'm not the nazi dinosaur the handmaidens say I am.

I've googled for radical feminist groups in my area and found nothing. There's a feminist group at a university some distance away but I have a suspicion that it'll be full of handmaidens. If you're a member of a real rather than virtual group, how did you find each other? What should I google for? Any ideas on how to start something up?

OP posts:
womanformallyknownaswoman · 15/05/2018 12:37

It sucks this happened to you.

I haven't managed to locate radfems where I am in real life - happy to consider Skype group or something like that. I am a member of some private FB groups - but I loathe the platform tbh.

I have set up a private reddit group that's open to regulars with post histories - but it hasn't taken off - no worries - it's there if we need it - guess we all like the company here!!

womanformallyknownaswoman · 15/05/2018 12:34

I asked them where they got their statistics from and whether the data took into account those with co-existing mental health issues and they side-stepped it.

I started to look into these and they don't hold water - other things took priority but from what I discovered, none of the research is of clinical / professional standards and is all based on online surveys - so the suicide stat quoted is actually people saying they have had suicidal thoughts - not that they had attempted suicide - big difference as many survivors can attest to. I would love someone to debunk the stats - I want to do it but am time poor and don't have the credentials - would be better coming from someone who conducts research professionally.

PatriarchyPersonified · 15/05/2018 12:33

Merch

There might have been something in the tone or nature of the discussion that put these other people off, rather than the subject matter specifically.

You are being goady. Off with you

Like this for example.

Terfulike · 15/05/2018 12:32

What you mean calling someone a handmaiden is an insult?

Really?

Original poster
Merchfach · 15/05/2018 12:31

Well my, how graced am I, Patriarchy Personified, that you agree with even a part of what I wrote.

You are being goady. Off with you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Merchfach · 15/05/2018 12:25

Badger, I'm fairly new to Mumsnet and not sure about messaging, but I'm in west Wales. I know a few people who I think are on a similar wavelength to me but after what happened at the weekend I'm feeling quite cautious about sounding them out. The explosion of absolute fury when I dared venture my pov was extraordinary.

One of the things they mentioned was the high rate of suicide among trans people. I asked them where they got their statistics from and whether the data took into account those with co-existing mental health issues and they side-stepped it. If anyone can point me in the direction of some definitive stats about trans suicide rates I would appreciate it. I imagine this kind of thing is likely to happen again and so forewarned is forearmed.

OP posts:
PatriarchyPersonified · 15/05/2018 12:23

Merchfach

Handmaidens

I actually agree with your stance on the unquestioning acceptance of the trans narrative.

However, the fact you use an insult to casually describe every woman who doesn't agree with you, says to me there might have been something in the tone or nature of the discussion that put these other people off, rather than the subject matter specifically.

Not being goady, just suggesting you might review again your conversation with these women and put yourself in their postition to see if you came across as well as you would have liked?

Terfulike · 15/05/2018 12:23

Me too.

Bi11yOneMate · 15/05/2018 12:16

Ditto
I'd be in and happy to PM my location :)

Badgerthebodger · 15/05/2018 11:55

I would really love to be part of such a group. I feel a bit isolated IRL because I have a sister who (despite being gay!) has drink the Kool aid entirely. It is unmentionable in my family and my friends think I’m bonkers for worrying about something which they can’t imagine happening. If you want to PM me a rough location OP I would be very happy to meet up if we’re anywhere near each other!

vesuvia · 15/05/2018 11:20

Merchfach wrote - "What should I google for?"

I suggest searching for gender-critical as well as radfem/radical feminist.

LaSqrrl · 15/05/2018 09:49

Sorry to hear how that went down Merch. Many (but not all) of the younger women have slurped up that Kool Aid.

About ten years ago, there was a strong blogging 'network' of radfems, a few message boards, etc. That was our main connection. I think you can still find a lot of networking at facebook, but the org is woman-hating, and many radfems are getting pissy with the platform.

Some of us do have the 'tech' to start boards. It is clearly time we did again (blogging is hard slog really).

Like here, we have to 'correctly pronoun' the likes of a double-girl-murderer. It's insane. Radfems will hang out here for as long as we can, to shed some reality of the situation, but beyond that, no, we are not masochists.