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Original poster

Woman gets written up by HR for having menstrual products in her car

108 replies

AngryAttackKittens · 14/05/2018 09:19

Turns out that the coworker who complained was a transwoman. The complaining part is sadly not a surprise, since we already know that some transwomen think women are being female at them out of spite, but the fact that HR actually took the complaint seriously and wrote the letter writer up for having personal care items in a bag in her car rather than explaining to the complainer that the complaint was unreasonable is not exactly a great sign in terms of how workplaces are handling complaints relating to trans issues.

www.askamanager.org/2018/04/i-got-in-trouble-because-my-coworker-saw-maxi-pads-in-my-car-and-more.html

OP posts:
Original poster
AngryAttackKittens · 14/05/2018 10:45

Ah OK, crossed wires then! Obviously the comment with the slur in it was going to be deleted, but I'm as baffled as you are by the others.

Thread has gremlins.

OP posts:
Juells · 14/05/2018 10:43

Oh no, wasn't directed at you, one of my favourite posters 😘 If that's what my post said (I can't remember) it was directed at the letter writer and the blog for publishing it.

Original poster
AngryAttackKittens · 14/05/2018 10:40

OK this thread has officially gone weird. I was annoyed that you were coming across as if the "this is nonsense" was directed at me, Juells, but didn't and wouldn't report you, so don't look at me, not my fault.

OP posts:
Juells · 14/05/2018 10:37

I haven't posted anything to this thread apart from saying I didn't believe the original letter was real, and I've had a post removed :( :( :( Don't know what I could have said that offended the Talk Guidelines. :(

yetanothertranswoman · 14/05/2018 10:28

Wait, yet, are you saying that you think the by all indications pretty pro-trans blogger made this up for unspecified nefarious purposes

I am suggesting that anyone could write in a letter that seems outrageous, get it published and then the letter writer reveals it's about trans,

AsAProfessionalFekko · 14/05/2018 10:27

Remember when a woman couldn't get co-workers to take down girlie calendars - which really were pretty offensive? HE would have wet themselves laughing if you'd complained.

LangCleg · 14/05/2018 10:25

I don't understand why everyone is smelling a rat? Or at least a trans rat (as it were) rather than a general rat?

The original post doesn't mention trans. The blog owner appears to have deliberately omitted this in the post. It only comes to light buried deep in the comments because someone directly asks if the complainant is a man. Then everything goes kablowey as it always does as soon as the word trans gets a mention.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 14/05/2018 10:24

What is interesting about it is that in the initial letter nothing is mentioned re trans. The OP left this out. It was only later that the blogger mentioned trans (as per subsequent and private conversation). So, if it was a set up, it wasn't set up by the OP but my the blogger (who is otherwise reputable - why would she do this)?

Original poster
AngryAttackKittens · 14/05/2018 10:23

The comment section is like an alternative universe!

And yet still there's the usual angry man who is angry because he assumes the whole thing is "misandry", because those guys are the herpes of the internet.

OP posts:
LangCleg · 14/05/2018 10:21

The comments are, and the comment section is a total mess.

The comment section is like an alternative universe!

Original poster
AngryAttackKittens · 14/05/2018 10:21

Wait, yet, are you saying that you think the by all indications pretty pro-trans blogger made this up for unspecified nefarious purposes? Blog's been around for a while, she answers all kinds of "weird thing happened in workplace, what do I do?" letters.

OP posts:
LangCleg · 14/05/2018 10:20

I went to the source of the article.

What source? Where?

yetanothertranswoman · 14/05/2018 10:18

In this new world order who knows what to believe
Well that's true. It's so easy to say something in a blog post that can be seen as believable.

Who knows what is true anymore

yetanothertranswoman · 14/05/2018 10:16

it's an issue that's going to come up

Not really. Transwomen are reminded constantly everytime we go to the toilet. There's the containers in the toilet reminding us.

So no, it's not an issue. We have to get over it.

TERFragetteCity · 14/05/2018 10:15

And it's a perfect letter that just sucks people into believing it.

In this new world order who knows what to believe?

crunchymint · 14/05/2018 10:15

I have sanitary towels at the moment in the side pocket of the passenger seat in my car. Not because I don't think you can change sex. But because I stuffed them there yesterday because I have a heavy period and may have needed to change when going out shopping. This is perfectly normal behaviour.

yetanothertranswoman · 14/05/2018 10:15

The person who published this confirms way down the page that the complainant was trans

And it's a perfect letter that just sucks people into believing it.

Original poster
AngryAttackKittens · 14/05/2018 10:13

My interest is, well, how are HR supposed to handle unreasonable complaints coming from trans people? Generally speaking extra weight should be given to complaints coming from people in legally protected categories, though it never seems to work that way when it's a woman complaining about sexual harassment or other workplace discrimination. But how do they handle situations where the person is in what's considered to be a vulnerable group but their complaint is fundamentally just not a reasonable one? Regardless of whether this particular situation is legit (the blog in general is, but obviously she can't screen and verify every letter she gets) it's an issue that's going to come up, and I suspect that women are going to end up on the being expected to walk on eggshells end.

OP posts:
yetanothertranswoman · 14/05/2018 10:13

Please RTFT. It’s a bit of an odd one I agree, but the person who wrote the letter did say it was a trans woman who complained.

I went to the source of the article.

I call bullshit on the whole thing.

TERFragetteCity · 14/05/2018 10:12

And you've used this to have a go at transwomen and an apparent idea that transwomen are upset because women have periods and we can't have them

The person who published this confirms way down the page that the complainant was trans.

TERFragetteCity · 14/05/2018 10:11

Seems odd that a woman would have sanitary products strewn all over her car (inside) though

They were in a bag. Not strewn all over.

In individual wrapped sachets, in packaging, in a bag, in her car.

TheSecretMole · 14/05/2018 10:11

yetanothertranswoman Please RTFT. It’s a bit of an odd one I agree, but the person who wrote the letter did say it was a trans woman who complained.

yetanothertranswoman · 14/05/2018 10:09

I'm confused.
The person claims to have received a letter. There is nothing about transwomen mentioned.
The twitter thread doesn't mention transwomen.

And you've used this to have a go at transwomen and an apparent idea that transwomen are upset because women have periods and we can't have them.

I think this thread shows how some posters are determined to use any possible story to attack transwomen in any way possible.

SilverHairedCat · 14/05/2018 10:09

Nope, no slurs here!

Teacuphiccup · 14/05/2018 10:08

Even if the letter isn’t real. Which we have no reason to believe it isn’t, but let’s pretend it’s not. The comments are, and the comment section is a total mess.
There’s people saying that women shouldn’t say ‘biological women’, calling people out for saying transitioned (when there’s no need to transition at all because a trans woman has always been a woman), people saying that women are oppressed because of their gender and not because of their biology (tell that to the girls in the third world who can’t access education as they don’t have appropriate toilets for menstruation), people saying that cis is just a word and even though trans people are allowed to quibble about the space between trans and woman, cis women should just accept any label given to them.

It’s a mess.

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