Your Teenage Child tells you they think they are Transgender

This is the bit from Brilliotic where women who are judged every day of their life were supposed to empathize because it happens to a male from time to time and is too much for them.

Then you find you need to prove that you are the same person as it says on your document. You need to explain your life to a stranger. And there are the judging looks, picking out your more masculine bodily features. Discrimination. Hostility. Harrassment.

Though such situations do not arise every day, they arise frequently enough that she grew increasingly anxious, until she barely was able to leave the house anymore. No longer able to work, she had to face yet another person judging her in order to claim any sort of benefits. She was treated for anxiety but grew so tired of it all.

It's a damn shame that men refuse to broaden the bandwidth for what constitutes a man instead of declaring that they want to be women now so the women need to get the eff out of their way.

Truthwillwin
I thought it was Brilliotic's sibling. That is who I was addressing. Sorry for the confusion.

Brilliotic when you said '. If that means changing their bodies, I would feel very angry that we live in a time and place where that is the only way, but I would support them every step of the way nonetheless.
This is coming from a sibling. Not a parent. Very different. So please do not reje t my parental right.

I don't think telling women that being judged every day in every way was too much for your sibling is going to get the traction on a forum full of women that you think it should.

Call me thick but this doesn't make sense to me. Could you say what you mean in a different way. I don't get the inference.

Brilliotic
I rest my case. My work is done. Was waiting for this response to prove the this thread was indeed an attempt to guilt me and others like me out. You fell into the trap.

Ps. It is not my sibling. A sibling would be my brother or sister. I am talking about my child. Not sibling.

Bewilderness, I have being reading your threads. Thank you for your insight

Really. I am in this trans nonsense a long time now. I so know that those who are actually going through this get it. So please do not patronise me. I am in the know.

Thanks for the 4th wave nod. It was this that helped me.

@Truthwillwin In case you do not know about 4th wave here is a link. Lot's of help there.
4thwavenow.com/

brilliotic
I don't think telling women that being judged every day in every way was too much for your sibling is going to get the traction on a forum full of women that you think it should.

Whoever started this post is obviously someone who is trying to guilt the critical parent out. They have got an army of allies to try and undermine parental rights. Do not be fooled by them. They are starting a campaign to try and make me and other trans critical parents feel shame. Classic bullying. I am responding to this because this thread felt like a bully thread. I will not be bullied

Just Google am I trans and you will see the reality. Go on tumblr and reddit and read what is being said. As a parent you will have no say. These places will tell your child to find a new family. It's called a glitter family. They will parent them. You will be a bigot.

How do I edit. Fat thumbs. I hope you get the gist when my spelling mistake are made

I've lurked for a while on this feminism forum. Can't believe this post. Obviously the Liberal responses here have not had to deal with the fact that their child said they are trans. I too, thought those thoughts before I was hit with it. Step in my shows and don't judge the reity that you would be devastated. Little grey sheep I admire your truth. All that other nonsense see that is said here is because they want to believe they are woke. I think you all need to wake up and see the trans ideology as a cult. When you can see this you will not be saying I will want them to explore there gender. Today, exploring leads to drugs and surgery. It is not the same as trying to find a balance. It is all or nothing eventually because this is what our kids are told. So for all you parents who think you will be cool you will be amazed if it comes to your door for real. Seriously, do you really want your child to cut off their breast or their testacles. If you can say yes to this I suggest you question why this is acceptable. Will you allow teen sex, tattoos, anorexia, drugs because this is what your child wants?, would you give them your blessing?,, if your child wants to be the other sex accept that this is a distorted reality and don't feed it.

brilliotic it’s great that your sibling is doing much better now.

It’s tragic that society accepts so little gender non conformity. It keeps us all in strict boxes.

I don’t like the GRA because although it solves a problem for individuals (& thank you for explaining that, I can see how it helps your sibling) it feels like it’s just hiding away the issue rather than protecting gender non conforming people or doing anything to help change attitudes.

Little grey sheep,

Planning to do the opposite of your own mother doesn’t work. You could go down a bad path here.

Ps are you a fundamentalist Christian or something?

Are you trying to gain access to the female part of the boarding house in order to shag around?

My DC and I are separate individuals. I don't feel that my DC are an extension of me or that I own them in any way. When my DC turn 18 I will fully encourage them to move away to seek a life that makes them happy (unlike my own mother who curtailed my opportunities by being clingy)

But I think you’re being exactly like your own mother, it’s just being expressed slightly differently. You still think your children are part of you, because if they express views or behaviours with which you disagree you will cast them out. Truly believing that they are separate beings would entail believing that they have their own, unique, way of viewing the world that might or might not be similar to yours, and that you will certainly disagree on some things, including perhaps some quite fundamental values, and that this will be challenging but also an opportunity to learn from one another and to grow.

Of course families break down. Mine pretty much has - I have minimal contact with my parents. But I don’t think anyone who has been through this has done so without immense pain, and I’m sure we all think it’s to be avoided if at all possible. “My way or the highway” seems pretty much guaranteed to ensure it as an outcome.

sallyannemum

Doing a little research project are you?

My DC and I are separate individuals. I don't feel that my DC are an extension of me or that I own them in any way. When my DC turn 18 I will fully encourage them to move away to seek a life that makes them happy (unlike my own mother who curtailed my opportunities by being clingy). I accept that parents and grown children aren't always on the same wavelength and don't always turn out to be compatible or maintain contact. I don't see how it's "getting rid of" my child if we turn out not to be compatible as adults?

Id laugh and say dont be so bloody stupid. Because I know my daughter and shes NOT transgender at all. Im guessing most peoples reactions would be specific to their child.

Oops, quote fail. First para is LittleGreySheep’s words; second is my response.

I'd probably say the same if my child was gay, or if they converted to another religion and became really devout: Live your life with my blessing but we won't be in contact any more. I'm entitled to decide what I feel comfortable with just as everyone else is. That doesn't mean I'm not accepting of alternative lifestyles, just that I respect them in a "live and let live" way that doesn't involve them being part of my own family.

I wouldn’t worry about it. With an attitude like that, any child of yours is going to be running away from you as fast as it can as soon as it hits 18.

My teens know what dysphoria is, so they could tell me they had that, but Id pay for as much counselling as possible before starting the hormones and surgery road.

They wouldnt need to tell me if they wanted to dress differently, they know males and females can dress, act and behave as masucline or feminine as they like, but the idea of gender is BS and they can no more change sex than fly.

What the actual living fuck @LittleGreySheep?

I actually looked you up as I assumed you had to be a troll. You have a newborn and you'd just get rid of them if they disagree with you as they get older? Your poor, poor child.

For anyone freely screencapping your post and using it as evidence against us all on Mumsnet (and I bet they do - I would in their place), I think your attitude is appalling and I doubt I'm alone there.

jellyfrizz, my sister 'passed' pretty well, pre-surgery, but after having had hormones for a good while. She had the appearance of a woman; a gangly, not particularly feminine, rather butch woman, and you might think there was something a bit 'odd' about her. You might in your mind put a question mark as to her genitals. But generally people who encountered her assuming she was a woman would 'see' all the subtle things about her that reaffirmed that belief. The way she moved. The slight curve of a breast. The fairly smooth skin.

It was all those situations where you are face to face with someone who is looking at your documents that say 'male'. Signing in at the doctors' surgery. Showing your train pass to conductor. Meeting the bank clerk for a mortgage application. Checking in at the airport. Crossing any border, anywhere. Paying by credit card in a restaurant. Interviewing for a job. Starting a job. Going to any ticketed event that has non-transferable/personal tickets. Get a conveyancing solicitor. Applying for university. ... It's endless really.

Then you find you need to prove that you are the same person as it says on your document. You need to explain your life to a stranger. And there are the judging looks, picking out your more masculine bodily features. Discrimination. Hostility. Harrassment.

Though such situations do not arise every day, they arise frequently enough that she grew increasingly anxious, until she barely was able to leave the house anymore. No longer able to work, she had to face yet another person judging her in order to claim any sort of benefits. She was treated for anxiety but grew so tired of it all.

She is much better now. Has a life again. Her papers show her female name, and show her to 'be' female (legally), so it is much much rarer that her trans reality affects her. She still gets very anxious when dealing with authorities (things like that don't tend to just go away) but can manage it much better.