Your Teenage Child tells you they think they are Transgender

It's not really a question any of us could answer.

Right now, my teen DD exactly the way she is? I'd laugh my socks off, take the piss and tell her to eat her breakfast. There is no way I'd take it seriously, and no way that I would be supportive. I know it couldn't be 'real' because I know my kid and know the way she has been bought up.

A different child, one I don't really know? I'd ask them why they thought that (and then tell them to talk to their parents).

I would tell them I loved them, ask questions and wait. But yes, I would also be tempted to remove WiFi - there's a lot of crazy ideas out there and a lot of hate. Neither is going to benefit a confused teen. If the feeling persisted, I would seek professional help.

LittleGreySheep sounds horrific. It’s sad that there are people who desperately want to have children and some no-mark like her reproduces. Your children will no doubt wake up to your hate as they grow up. Who actually says they would disown their gay child in 2018??
Oh and FYI saying you want no contact with your trans child IS transphobia in case anyone was confused. It’s no different from someone kicking their gay child out of the house. If anyone thinks otherwise, I would love to hear otherwise.

Oh give over. I highly doubt your claim about radical feminism. You all give yourselves away when you use the word transphobia. Most of the actually prejudiced posts on MN are planted by TRA, and then reported and deleted.

It's reading stuff like this that makes people think that there is a hefty dose of transphobia swilling around these boards.

Obviously we are all responsible for what any person says on the forum including the trolls who come to chum the water and take screen shots for twitter.
Call the police and report her. That is the current response to women saying things deemed transphobic.

My child could go with my blessing... but they would have to go.

What is it about identifying as trans that you find so revulsive or frightening that that you would cut off contact with your own child?

It's reading stuff like this that makes people think that there is a hefty dose of transphobia swilling around these boards. And I say that as someone who is broadly (and increasingly) sympathetic with the radical feminist POV.

I wanted to support a couple of people on this thread who had told painful stories of beloved children or siblings who had struggled with gender. Sometimes people have very difficult, almost inexplicable experiences with their children, who have been brought up to question and think critically for themselves, but who then challenge their parents' understanding by doing something like becoming trans.

I am not a particularly "knock down drag out" sort of person, I don't think; nor am I a big fan of personal attacks, so I am sorry I used the word "bullying", (even in a general way, no names attached). I do think the tone on quite a few of the feminism threads is close enough to bullying that lots of people don't feel free to post.

I understand that you have come over from the knock down drag out of AIBU.
You certainly irritated me with your bizarre accusations of bullying.

Not sure my brief post amounts to hectoring:
(synonyms: "browbeat, irritate, nag, badger, bait, bluster, dominate, harass, heckle, intimidate, plague, ride, swagger, tease, torment, worry").

I am well acquainted with how people post on Mumsnet, and I think the extreme repetitive posting is symptomatic of something, and is not actually particularly common.

I think you might have just given me my first ever biscuit!

claraschu

Serial posting is usually because the person is posting comments as they read comments made on the thread.

It is quite a common occurrence on forums, though I can see where it might seem odd at first.

As far as the rest of your hectoring

People who feel the need to post multiple times in a row, shouting down the thoughtful and pained posts of other people: this seems like bullying to me- unkind, closed, black-and-white thinking.

Brilliotic what a thoughtful and nuanced view.

Trans is not a state. It is a movement

You're in the right place Truthwillwin - the women here know and understand what you're saying. You'll find support here. And you're right - you're the important one in your own situation because if you crumble under the pressure the whole house of cards goes down and there will be casualties.
Quite apart from the appropriation of women's identity and women's spaces, the trans rights activist's agenda has absolutely no conscience about the "collateral damage" it causes - and, yes, women bear the brunt of that as well.
Your anger is righteous.

@sallyannemum

What would you do?

Truth

Social Contagion is acknowledged for suicides. Indeed, the guidelines suggest that suicide in youths should no be publicised. Yet here we are publicising how to be trans, or am I trans and we wonder why there has been an explosion. Back in my day, I was a tomboy. Today I would believe I was trans. So trans equates with tomboy in some views. It might seem benign until you realise it is a gateway to hormones and surgery. This is what is so damaging. It's not the oh I'm gender something or other. These words are just words. It's the follow through that is damaging. I can be gender whatever but the trans police will tell me I have to transition. I will not be allowed to just be non conforming I will be bulldozed I to meds a d surgery. If I don't do surgery I will expect people to belive that my genitals are female if a guy. As in female penis. Need I say more. Wake up to this please. Trans is not a state. It is a movement

Definitely on a rant here. Actually shouldn't even say rant cause it belittles my thoughts. Nonetheless, imagine if I posted what would you say if your child's was a rapist, paedophile, drug addict etc.? Do you really think this can be answered realistically. Would you say you would support your child?

I don't need this hypothetical question. I'm already there.
I cry every night for hours. I wake up and cry. I have a bit of a break at work but as soon as my work is done I cry again. I don't sleep, I can't eat. I consider myself as a non functioning adult. It is devastating and all consuming. Yet I have to try and maintain normality. So let's not worry about our kids needs and focus on the parents. Once I go down the whole family goes down. Who is more important. I would say me because I have to hold it all together to enable my family to have some life. They dont see this. Too wrapped up om me, me, me world.

The social contagion of suicides has been studied for a number of years. That is one of the reasons I am so shocked that this current example of social contagion is getting so little push back.

Now that I think of it though, being born in the wrong body was a great hook for a story, so expecting those who profited from spreading it to try to staunch it is unrealistic. They are committed to their bottom line.

Sorry post fail.

Social contagion is a big issue. It needs to be studied better.

It's sad we have to assure children in this regard at all.

I

Sorry for typos. On phone

I see that mumsnet is coming in for flak. Whilst this is difficult for those of you who have been here for a long time I think it also has been beneficial. It has brought me here and probably a lot more.
Despite having a child/teen who is buying I to the nonsense, it is also an issue of female spaces. So on one hand I have to deal with trans but I also have to deal with my rights as a female. It is very difficult to reassure a child when you also need to fight for female rights

So to the original poster my answer is tell your child the truth. Remember you are the parent not the friend. Do not give them the power over you for fear of the trans nonsense suicide stats. Do not agree with the trans ideoly because your son or daughter will believe that it is OK to usurp the life another sex. Reality is that this will be more difficult for them. If it is your child you really mustask yours why they feel this way. You must see this as a symptom

Truthwillwin
Mumsnet has been under attack for some weeks because of Feminists and women's opposition to the amendment under consideration regarding Self ID for transgender identified persons, as well as what is being taught to children by government backed gender charities because of the unintended consequences resulting from interpretation and application of the Gender Recognition Act and the Equality Act..

Haha. See I don't understand this forum. Just a newbie. So it was you who said that not brilliotic oops sorry. Lot to learn. Anyway despite this I still stand by my views. Why would anyone post this thread in a feminist post if it wasn't to try and bully patents who are rightly sceptical. For me, it was an attempt to make my belief shameful. The very nature of the question seemed like a set up. If you have to ask this question it means you have no experience in the dilemma that we, the parents who are dealing with this are going through. It is a hypothetical question for some. Sadly it is a reality for others. Trust me, you would not want to be where I am now. All your live and let live stance will come back to bite you. My child believed it would be OK to tell me because I was that parent. Never, ever did I imagine I would have to deal with a delusion. Because that is what it is. Trying to get through to someone with a delusion is so hard. My truth is to ensure I do not collude