Has anyone else just discovered that they are a RadFem?

can someone explain something to me please? im very new to this, having never identified as a feminist before. i hated the word actually, however this website has opened my eyes.

im confused as to radfem stance on sex and gender? i understand the opposition to transgender men using womens spaces. so is there an understanding that biological sex should be used in those circumstances? public toilets, changing rooms etc

what about the genders/pronouns/labels that people want to use? are they criticized? i find it quite confusing and it makes me feel like an idiot! ive tried googling but dont fully understand.

i dont even really understand “gender is a social construct” is that a negative phrase? or is it a good thing? should gender not be in the equation, only biological sex?

if i say im a female who likes “girly” things like make up, fashion, but also “boyish” things like football and weightlifting, am i going to be pounced on for labelling such things as girly/boyish? does that offend people? or is it ok to associate certain interests with femininity?

i feel like in the current climate you could say “tampons are for women” and there would be someone snapping back “actually tampons can be used by anyone, they arent strictly for women”

sorry for the rambling.

Aren’t a lot of the current left wing men “brocialists”? There’s always been misogyny in the labour movement.

Yes that's true but I think that the similarity between rad fem ideology and socialist ideology make this group open to conversion. Men can be feminists too. They can't join rad fem organisation but IMO we can build a co-aoltion. If we can't convert our closet allies how can we change the world? We can't just kill the men....

Aren’t a lot of the current left wing men “brocialists”? There’s always been misogyny in the labour movement.

That said, many of the most interesting conversations about feminism i’ve Had at work have been with a man who considers himself a Marxist. But we’re all so middle class in my workplace so this proves nothing.

Hmm.

I've always been a radfem... but I'm old. It's a scary time right now but heartening to see so many women coming to real feminism.

In terms of the decisive break from being willing to try to find a compromise with liberal feminism it was the support for the sex industry that did it for me, and the whole idea of sex-positive in general. Funny how quickly "you can" becomes "you should" and then "you must", eh? The main goal underneath all the superficial guff about empowerment seems to be to make women ashamed of saying no.

I was never a feminist all all.

Men treated me amazingly when I was very young and beautiful. Then I had children and my perception changed. I still wasnt really aware of feminism other than 70s bras burnings, but I could see the sexism and inequality, especially at work.

Its these boards that both educated and converted me a few years ago, and I will be eternally grateful.

I am also a recent rad fem convert. Mostly spurred on by having a baby and negotiating the new landscape of running the home, childcare, return to work etc.

I think a lot of women are lib fem until they go through some personal struggle (like having a baby, denied promotion at work) that really crystallises the issues for them. Direct experience of the power of patriarchy.

Still somewhat wary of sharing my views in real life though.

As a teacher, I see lots of boys being diagnosed with additional needs as they don't cope in the classroom environment. Girls with similar issues don't get picked up on because they are socialised from such a young age to play quietly, be submissive, fit in. It's nurture. It's ingrained in society. Some people think I'm strange for refusing to buy all pink clothes for my baby.

juells I'm stealing Homeopathic feminism. Genius!

I've always been a radfem. Tried to be a bit more libfem for a while because those were the only other feminists I could find to talk to, and probably a bit of having a fairly easy time in my 20s and being too lazy to engage on the level a more radical analysis requires. What little time I did spend on liberal feminism was a total waste, so false economy there! At this point I pretty much see modern liberal feminism as the backlash. If you can't totally destroy them then infiltrate them and render them ineffective.

Always have been but this board brought me back to activism when it raised my awareness of the trans issues

@AngryAttackKittens

your version of feminism has been watered down so far that it's like taking a glass of water and dropping a single drop of Ribena in it.

Homeopathic feminism

^looking forward to your post - darn my dyspraxic fingers!

@daimbars I am really interested in learning from you. I only just came around to this position - my mind is open. I want to really understand why you are opposed to radical feminism. Why you believe that transwomen are women? Looking forward to your lost - genuinely not being sarcastic

In all children I think it's nature first, then nurture.

When you work with children with additional needs, you see how nature caused extra challenges for them and also how the correct nurturing early on can make such huge differences - and how the lack of nurture can cause catastrophe.

While I'm very fond of Hadley Freeman, if she makes you a bit uncomfortable then your version of feminism has been watered down so far that it's like taking a glass of water and dropping a single drop of Ribena in it. Might change the color very slightly, does nothing at all to change the taste or make what you're drinking not water. Feminism in name only.

I have a question for you rad fems who previously considered yourself liberal. Does it feel odd that your views are aligned with the most right wing in society? I can't think of any publication - even the Daily Mail - that doesn't acknowledge and accept trans women as women and trans men as men.

Nothing to do with political leanings; basic science peak transed me.

That and watching first hand how extreme gender stereotyping can really affect children's views of themselves and each other, including a child who thought they were in the wrong body for a while due to that stereotyping.

I do believe there are biological slight differences between the sexes (eg more boys tend to have additional needs) it that's got nothing to do with "gendered" items or stereotypes. In fact, in my professional capacity in education, due to a generalised higher number of additional needs in boys compared to girls, they can need the extra support and nurturing that's usually 'stereotypically' given to girls. (Of course all children need nurturing - the stereotype for boys is to 'toughen them up'.)

Realising all this and that it's rad fem made me realise I'm a rad fem.

I don't want to derail this thread with my lib fem opinions so I'll start a new one tomorrow. As you were.

@daimbar Nurture. I'm around little boys and girls a lot and I can see the socialisation at work. Your beliefs are incompatible with feminism in my opinion.

Feminism is the political movement for the liberation of women.

...not to provide handmaids for every other bugger on the planet.

Women have never had a place on the left except as servants to men, just as we are to men on the right.

I repeat myself:
Feminism is the political movement for the liberation of women.

Yes.

I'm not sure when I tipped over from 'just' being feminist into what is called radfem but yes, it's happened to me too.

I'm seeing things in my current relationship that make me quite angry whereas they just irritated me before. Things that seem minor but when I add them together they are starting to really fuck me off now.

Hi @Daimba thank you for engaging. I think you will find that most posters at mumsnet are in the same boat as you. I am a member of the LGBT society (whatever that means - I'm just bisexual.) I am a 'rad fem' precisely because of this. I don't conform to 'gender norms' which is why I am so vocal about the areas of transgender ideology that concern me. Please take a look at some of the threads on mumsnet. We are not right wing bigots. We are frustrated by the lack of co-herent discussion regarding our concerns. If you could share some links with us I think we'd all appreciate your input. I want to learn more about what you believe and why you believe it.