What do your male partners make of GRA

Mine considers himself a feminist and thinks the whole TRA thing is bullshit. He wishes trans people no harm and to be able to live their lives free of violence and oppression etc of course, but are not actual women and should not be barging their way metaphorically or otherwise into womens spaces

@Baubletrouble43 , it was 1990, but I am very glad someone was there for you too.

One of the other events that affected DH's awareness was the École Polytechnique massacre. He was studying for his Engineering degree when it happened. It was a huge WTH moment for those in the field who just saw women Engineers as Engineers.

I've asked him: 'What the fuck are these people on? Never heard such a load of absolute nonsense. Men are men and women are women. The country is being held to ransom by a load of loonies and the establishment is listening to them.'

Honestly, I think this would be a fairly widespread opinion. It's only on here we have pussyfoot around the topic, being 'careful' not to offend.

I've peak-trans'd my DH. It was the women's sport issue, I think, that had most impact.

Although he also listened to Posie Parker's speech at Bristol, and the question "Does my 11yr old have the right to go into a changing room and not see an adult penis?" had a big affect, being father to DD of a similar age.

My DH said the other day, if you think it will just affect women's live you're deluded - one way or another it will affect us all. Needless to say he's horrified at whats playing out, particularly the Oxford footage and somewhat glad DS is homeschooled...

I’m pleased to say I think my dad gets it - we disagree on quite a few other things - I’m much further left than he is despite him growing up with one of his parents being a labour MP.

I explained about the case wig the women’s refuge in Canada that only just managed to prevent a male who identified as a woman from working with traumatised abused women.

And I also mentioned sport which he isn’t into but seemed to get the physiological differences would still exist even if taking hormones and/or having had surgery.

Very pleased. I don’t think he’s seen the utter tripe in social media and I try and keep off it myself and deal with RL so to speak. Apart from MN obviously.

The only men I have met who don't engage are trendy right-ons who try to argue that its all just an intersex issue, and of course women can indeed have penises.

I find men with daughters and special needs kids are the most horrified.

I've asked him: 'What the fuck are these people on? Never heard such a load of absolute nonsense. Men are men and women are women. The country is being held to ransom by a load of loonies and the establishment is listening to them.'

He expresses himself in more forthright terms than I normally do, but you did ask.

I think many more men that we realise completely understand the issue. My DH certainly does, and so do my liberal male colleagues. We were discussing liberalism and I brought up the trans issue and said it was killing the Labour Party for me. They listened then wholeheartedly agreed. I showed them Lily Madigan and literally watched 3 men peak trans before my eyes. It was magical.

I suppose I think gender critical means you don't believe you can have male as your sex and woman as your gender and that the 2 are synonymous. I am a woman I am female.
Most people I know think your gender is the same as your sex and gender is a superfluous concept.
Maybe that's not being gender critical but I don't know enough about sexuality theory/ feminist theory to know what that concept is called apart from the common sense usual one.

Secrets if this was February 2003 then I may owe your dh an enormous debt of gratitude. Slim chance I know, but I was the woman in that situation once and I've always wanted to thank the man who saved my life and was so kind.

He's gender critical and thinks sex = gender.

Eh? Aren't those two things mutually incompatible?

My partner thinks it's nonsense and that common sense will prevail...we can hope but all the main Parties are for it.

My teenage daughter is aware of the SJW's on reddit and tumblr but she hasn't been sucked in and is worried about men having access to our woman only spaces.

After replying to this just asked my husband what he thinks (currently in the garden doing the manly pursuit of tinkering with his bikes).
"I've switched off now" was his reply.
"yeah that's what I put" I replied.
He's gender critical and thinks sex = gender. He just feels he's done that now and other stuff is more interesting.

@nightowlagain and others with partners with that sort of outlook might want to show them the recent letter by a group of TW to the Guardian (there's another thread with a link in it).

Don't have a partner, but the men in my family think the TRA thing is bonkers and threatening. And they got it immediately, just reading the news, without any prompting from me.

My partner is totally on board with the radfem / gender critical view, as is my ex and my other male friends (gay and straight). They get it.

The thing is, the vast, vast majority of people have no idea this is going on. It’s all happening in a bubble, largely in a corner of social media. I haven’t met a single person who’s learned about this from outside the bubble who hasn’t immediately found gender ideology to be a load of cobblers.

I chat more to my son about it than my husband as my son is more interested in politics and free speech. My husband doesn't think you can change sex but transexuals don't impact on his life at all and he thinks my interest in the subject is a bit OTT.
He's completely supportive re women's sport being XX only and sees non XX women (ie men) in women's sport as cheats depriving women of medals.
Transmen don't give men anywhere near the aggro TRAs give us though, and men get to retain their toilets (and maybe get less messy gender neutral ones).
I do think this is largely a female battle though as we are the ones adversely affected. Men are only adversely affected through us being pissed off or their female relatives being disadvantaged.

@SecretsRSecrets your story about your lovely husband continuing to donate to Local women's shelter 30 years after helping a stranger subject to DV brought a tear to my eyes. This whole need for a radical push for women's rights makes me sad, its clear a lot of us have lovely OH's that just don't quite grasp how far things have gone in shutting down women as they just don't comprehend men who are so dismissive of women's voices and experience.

It is very much not all men that are a problem but we will be/are smeared as attacking men as we push to retain hard won rights

DH agrees with my point of view and is especially vocal. He fully agrees with my raising my children as feminists and GC

DP has peaked. I’ve talked a bit about it after reading on here and he is usually a bit like “but surely that wouldn’t actually happen?” and I give him examples of when it already has done. He’s been talking to people at work and to a gay friend of his (who is supportive of trans people as oppressed and marginalised without necessarily seeing the bigger picture that in a previous life he may have been transed himself!)

DP finds it odd that I get so angry about it, because it doesn’t affect me personally, but when I point out that it’s our dds who will be expected to share facilities with ‘female penises’ and will have their protections at work and in society generally put at risk because there will be no such thing as sex discrimination if men can also get fired for being pregnant etc he understands that it isn’t just feminist frothing!

He thinks its ridiculous. Mind he did not see the issue as such until I personalized it a bit and said how would he feel about a bloke walking in when I am getting changed, or our daughter. He was, like many others, under the impression that only post op transsexuals can get a GRC.

Nopw I do disagree with making surgery a requirement, but it is a problem that most do see it as only post op people when its anything but, and about to be made so that literally anyone can get one.

He immediately saw the issue about prisons/refuges though.

nightowlagain i think our DHs might be the same person...... This has become a really big issue for us. And i don't know how to go forward with it....

I'm not sure mine has purposely thought about the reality for women... as in with empathy and setting aside how initial reaction of WTF?

He uses terms like "statistical freaks" and cannot see how any sane person can believe that you can change sex.

But mostly he cannot see how this has gained any traction. He cannot give it real credence, doesn't see how it can be any kind of threat as it is simply ludicrous, patently irrational.

So, until he was brought face to face with the realities of the proposed further legal changes, he was dismissive. Not disbelieving, but unable to see that a few TRAs actually mattered.

It wasn't sport that did for him, it was birth certificates. He didn't believe me, told me I must have misunderstood and then checked for himself! And there you go... he Peaked!

He thinks that a female penis is nonsense.

He thinks men who want to retain their male bodies but access female spaces are just doing it to perv.

He thinks transsexuals are ok but transvestites are getting a sexual kick out of exhibiting themselves.

He thinks anyone that used to be male should not be allowed to compete in female sport.

He signed the petition.

My dcs think I'm obsessed but also signed because they advocate free speech.

Dh peaktransed months ago. He just can’t believe anyone is talking Self Id seriously. He repeatedly states, “If you have a cock, you’re a bloke”.

“The cotton ceiling” peak/peaktransed him and he's now at the very angry and ranty stage.

We’ve had to agree to limit how much we talk about this whole issue as it just makes us both fucking miserable.