I am a transwoman, ask me anything.

In all seriousness I think that you should post a similar OP onto more male dominated sites and see what happens. I think that would be really interesting.

Yes. This would be an instructive exercise.

Look, OP! Here's a thing you could do for us! How about it?

But who gets to decide what constitutes a ‘closed space’ for actual women? From what I’ve read and experienced it is mainly men, no matter how they identify, that are making the decisions that directly impact on women’s privacy, dignity and safety.

And the onus is on women to justify why they want and need spaces exclusively for women and girls. They often feel they need to explain this by talking about times when they have been abused or have felt scared and vulnerable.

@Ariadne
I think the worry for a lot of trans people, is the fact that we are a minority, that we will not get a third space. And I think a lot of trans people, myself included, let our own privilege get in the way of that. We have grown up with the privilege of our birth sex, and we forget that we are not entitled automatically to other resources because we change gender.
That's astute. But I hope you can see the irony. You want a space, think you won't get one so barge in on the space of the sex that has traditionally been barged out of the way by men. How is what trans men-to-women are doing now different from what men do to women habitually and always have done: appropriate space, rights, voice and get hostile if that infringement is rejected by women?

Ariadne, earlier in the thread you made this comment:

I will admit my idea of womanhood for me personally is probably just a mishmash of stereotypes that have been handed down to me over the generations.

Do you see that this is, in fact, all gender is? And that this is why we do not believe that it is any basis for an ideology or legislative agenda?

can you suggest ways in which a transwoman (particularly one acting as a woman's officer) can help women with the following issues?

• menstrual health & issues surrounding period poverty
• access to contraception & termination of pregnancy, the physiological & psychological effects of both
• healthcare inequality - gynaecological issues such has menorrhagia, dysmenorrhea, endometriosis, PCOS, infertility, gynaecological cancers
• pregnancy and birth - both physical (loss of sexual function, incontinence, chronic pain and psychological (ante & post natal depression, post natal anxiety & OCD, peripartum psychosis for example)
• wife work
• domestic inequality & single parenthood, cost of child care.
• income disparity, burden of poverty falling on women.
• educations outcomes, particularly in high earning fields - STEM, IT etc
• harassment & abuse 'banter' of young women and girls in education
• issues that lesbian women & girls - particularly butch - face
• street harassment
• sexual assault
• domestic violence
• assualt
• rape
• murder
• inequality in the justice system
• lack of representation in politics

I really like these threads. Thanks Ariadne and welcome.

In all seriousness I think that you should post a similar OP onto more male dominated sites and see what happens. I think that would be really interesting.

Also OP - consider how this push to access women’s spaces, to access our bodies is perceived by us.

For millennia, a woman’s ‘no’ has been irrelevant. We have been abused in every way possible with no legal right to say no. It’s only in the last few years that marital rape was made a crime. A woman’s ‘no’ literally meant nothing.

Then for a very brief period, we have had the right and the legal backing to say no. No to rape, to pregnancy, to violence.

And now, that is under threat - from men who want access to our spaces. Who want to claim they are us while simultaneously voiding our rights. By men who say lesbians have no right to say to Male bodies.

I see this as the single biggest threat to women’s rights this century. It has the potential to undo a century, several centuries worth of hard fought, hard won rights. No is once again starting to mean ‘maybe’ or ‘push harder.’

I cannot accept that. I just can’t. I want transpeople to be safe members of society. But that cannot happen at the expense of our ability to say no.

How can you be trapped in the wrong body it doesn't make literal sense, it's a metaphor which is used I presume to express a feeling of disatisfaction with physical form?

I do sometimes feel like saying, 'You want to join us? Pull up a chair. Take a 25% pay cut, allow us to kick you hard in the stomach once every four weeks so that you can suffer the bruise-like pains of periods for a week each month. Shut up, so that men can speak over you, for you, instead of you, at meetings, in class, at parties. Get called out of meetings as the default parent (with womb=your career takes the knock if child is sick/needs dentist/has issues at school.) Come and join us. Sure you want this? Or just the blouses and girly chat?"

Hi Ariadne.

Consider the half of all humans who are born with vagina and uterus and ovaries, who tend on average to be smaller and lighter than the other half, who are the only type who ever through all of history have menstruated, or gestated, or needed an abortion, or miscarried, or given birth or breastfed, or had healthcare issues related to ovaries or uteri or cervices...

Do you think that group of humans has been oppressed, marginalised, disenfranchised, controlled and/or violated throughout human history, by the other half who have penises, testes, higher muscle mass, can commit rape, can't become pregnant, etc.?

Do you think there are significant ways in which the group with vaginas still suffer oppression by virtue of belonging to that particular class of human?

If so, is it important to have a word that describes that oppressed group of humans - all of them, and only them - in order that they can name the basis of their oppression, recognise themselves and each other as part of that class of humans, and organise effectively for equality / justice / liberation?

If so, what is that word?

@LanceLottie
With regards to your DD's appalling period pains, could your DD possibly try using norheistrone to delay her period during exam time?

Sorry if this is something that you have already heard.

I'm with Posie and TheUterati.

And I draw attention to the lovely trans people hereabouts such as Truscum and Peanut, whose every post shows a demonstrable commitment to women's rights, and who neither mansplain nor appeal to female socialisation nor threaten to leave at the first instance of their every word not being fawned over by every single contributor.

It also ties us up in these sorts of discussions, and gets us concerned with trying to understand, which is a very useful tool to distract us from RL work such as writing to MPs, or schools, or whatever else it is that could help to Make A Difference In The Real World.

Twas ever thus...

**Same disclaimer as before MNHQ

Have you considered yourself to be lucky to have the option to chose between living as a man or a woman?

Being a slight, skinny yet very curvaceous shape, I can not live as a man as part of a process of transition. you are expressing a right that is denied to me because of my biology

@AriadneRose I haven't had time to read the full thread. But thank you for offering to answer questions, I would like to ask you something.

What do you think about women's boundaries, namely:

1) Boundary of a distinct name and category
To have a name to describe their sex as humans: female, girl, woman, which defines them and their own sex as a group with clear linguistic boundaries to identify them as distinct and separate from anyone born male, or has been boy or man, for a number of reasons, personal, practical & political.

2) Boundary of physical space
To have places where only females can be and where those born male are not allowed to be.

3) Boundary of mental space
To be able to describe reality as they see it, to share thoughts and memories without censure or emotional blackmail.

4) Boundary of ring-fenced resources
To have time, money, energy, schemes and other resources specific to the female sex, both biological and political.

Additionally:

Have you ever over-stepped or disregarded any of women's boundaries outlined above?

If so, how did it feel when you first did it- (did you feel conflicted, exhilarated, guilty)?

Do you think people who are born male and disregard/violate women's boundaries above are morally culpable?

Is it possible identify as a transwoman without violating women's boundaries?

Actually OP - please do what Posie said - post this exact same OP on a more male populated site.
It would be a really interesting experiment.

Comes with the added bonus of dividing us:

The 'mean' ones

The 'nice' ones

Two convenient groups created and perhaps we will start arging with each other? Perhaps agreement will dissipate and we will be weakened?

The mean ones will think the nice ones are misguided

The nice ones will think the mean ones are, well, being mean and that their words are not in the best interests of woman overall. That this is not the right way to address these issues.

On so many levels these threads are anything but well-meaning.

**Disclaimer: Again, not making any assumptions about the OP's intent, much less making any accusations. OK, MNHQ??

There are two different things going on.

There are people who feel trapped in the wrong body.

There are people who feel trapped in the wrong 'gender'.

The first is a medical condition.

The second has become the focus of a vicious political movement that is destroying feminism and threatening women's rights. It contains a very wide range of people, including men acting out sexual fetishes, and gay people in denial.

I feel sympathy for Ariadne and hope the difference between these two things is clear.

Do you feel that the current trans movement is reinforcing gender stereotypes? Why can't you just be a man who wears dresses, as I am a woman who wears trousers?

Do you think that reinforcing gender stereotypes is helpful or harmful to someone who feels unhappy in the sex they were born in?

I acknowledge the need for closed spaces that only women who are born as women are entitled to

But who gets to decide what constitutes a ‘closed space’ for actual women? From what I’ve read and experienced it is mainly men, no matter how they identify, that are making the decisions that directly impact on women’s privacy, dignity and safety.

* Ithink the worry for a lot of trans people, is the fact that we are a minority, that we will not get a third space but why should that be the responsibility of women? Why should we have to be responsible for the needs of trans people? Why are we expected to be everybody’s mother? Why don’t trans people fight for a 3rd space, the way people with disabilities have had to? Trans people are even being given use of disability access toilets, at the expense of actual disabled people.

You talk about the fear of being murdered or attacked, because you are trans. Could you please show me ANY evidence of a trans person being murdered in NI because of their status? I’ve had female friends attacked and raped because they are female. I’ve had lesbian friends molested and attacked because they’re lesbian and ‘just need to know what it’s like to be with a man’! I’ve been verbally abused by my own boys because I’ve said that people can’t change sex and told that trans people suffered because women won’t let them into female spaces, but women should ‘get over’ their feelings of fear or discomfort at sharing a space space with a physical man.

I’ll ask again. Give me a solid reason why women should have to be concerned about the feelings of everyone else, except actual women? Why can’t trans identifying males be responsible for their own feelings and campaign for their own spaces.

Adriade I'd like you to stay and have the dialogue, my comment about embracing the misgendering as actually enabling you to understand what it's like being a woman is genuine although I realised after it may have looked sarcastic. If you want to feel like a woman there are a lot of rubbish bits that come with it and embracing that too may make it clearer to you what you want.

And I'm hopeful you will join that list of allies to women

ALittleAubergine

Are women not meant to get angry?

Hi OP

Have you taken part in any other threads? Just read them?

Mumsnet is open to everyone and I think it would be lovely for you to get involved. Not sure if this thread is a great idea, they've happened before and the poster gets many questions and opinions it's not realistic that you can reasonably answer them.

Hope to see you about

YY @posie

Full of thanks, declarations that the OP is brave, welcoming comments, etc etc

Female socialisation in action.

We need to be cautious. Because this will be taken advantage of. Always.

So much anger on this thread.