I am a transwoman, ask me anything.

MinaPaws, that what happened to my grandmother and her sisters. They had a fantastic time (when not being bombed) during the war lots of freedom and a wider variety of jobs. And subsequently didn't buy into the 'man's work' myth.

MinaPaws
That makes so much sense.

The fact that transgenderism is a minor phenomenon isn't by itself enough to exclude trans people from "social, legal and medical significance". Look at the Welsh language preservation schemes and money invested in that minor pursuit. Is Welsh language and culture even a thing? Maybe it's just a social construct. Well, it is of course. But the Welsh, nonetheless think it important.

The overwhelming reason why the advancement of the TG agenda needs to proceed with caution is because TG rights infringe on women's rights.

@Spaghettijumper I read a fascinating article once by a woman in WW11, who said that one of the reasons for the birth of western feminism was that women had to take over trad male roles while the men were at war and realised how much cushier life was being 'hard at work all day' than the work they had running homes and caring for children. It was an eye opener, and they lost respect for the myth that the chap needed pipe and slippers after an 'exhausting' day driving a tractor or steam engine or reading the FT in his office.

I also don't feel like a man.

Am I a non-person?

If I don't feel like a woman but have XX chromosomes, female reproductive organs & female secondary sexual characteristics then what am I according to trans-idealogy?

Hi @AriadneRose, hope you're liking MN :)

I've been told that the meaning of 'female' or 'woman' should be based entirely on whether you have a 'female feeling'.
And when women say 'but I've never had such a feeling', they say 'you have it but you don't realise because your F-body and F-mind are in synch'.
So we're being asked to trust that we feel something but aren't aware of it simply because approx. 2% of the population is aware of such a feeling.
We're told we're women not because there is a consensus that this arbitrary signifier should stand for 'the female sex', because those of that sex have specific, unique concerns that those of the male sex don't, and we need to communicate about them via language, that's our cisnormative conditioning speaking. We're told instead it's because deep down we possess an affinity with the letters f-e-m-a-l-e, in that order (it can only be an affinity to the letters themselves of course because no one would ever say that they are female due to liking 'feminine' things, or say that what makes you female is when you want to be treated as female people are in this world, would they). If it were m-l-e-a-f-e, who knows, perhaps we wouldn't.

Not only are we talking about something that no one else but the person themselves can vouch for, but something that most of those who've grown up using the 'F' category can't even vouch for at all. So in the end we are being asked to base these hugely significant social, legal and medical categories on what is in most people an unconscious feeling that they themselves must somehow identify the subset of (M or F).
→ If something is unknowable, what is its social, legal and medical use?

But then, this feeling, when described, seems to primarily take the form of feeling that your sex doesn't match your mind (am discounting descriptions of a 'female' essence which vary wildly in all but name). So rather than this mismatch being a trigger, it most often turns out that this is the feeling itself, that 'not-feeling-male' is by default 'feeling-female'. And so in fact it is always a conscious feeling (unless the argument is that everyone is born transgender with a mismatched mind and body but few realise it). Following that to its logical conclusion, we can then only pick our M/F category once we are a) conscious of b) a mind/body mismatch.
→ So then what is the point in allowing the continued social, legal and medical significance of M/F categories, to the degree they are recognised today, if these criteria only apply to a small proportion of the population?

I'm sorry if you've been caught in the crossfire on Twitter but the above does get tiring (not saying you believe it). It's an insult to everyone's intelligence, we all know it, but it's so well insulated against challenge as we're told this is tantamount to driving people to suicide.

Simple questions.

Do you accept that people don’t agree with “wo/man is a feeling”? Or do you consider this “transphobic”.

Do you think sex segregated spaces should no longer be based on sex (I.e. the biology of our two part definition of woman) but instead on “feelings”?

Not yes/no questions.

Why are transwomen the ‘problem’ and not transmen?

In the same spirit, why have we had male women of the year but not the other way round?

Why does it seem to be that transmen just wanna get on with it but transwomen are the ones driving thr language policing and invade women’s spaces?

Why are trans people, again especially TIMs, fighting for access to women’s spaces, rather than fighting for their own? If all women tomorrow agreed and called themselves X and achieved everything they did over centuries overnight, would you think transwomen would be happy to say in “women’s” spaces or demand access to X’s spaces?

Irrespective of the rest of the argument, why should one group have the right to say “let us in” but another no “leave us be”?

that should be "with women". sorry!

hI Ariadne,

My question is, do you identify women in our struggle against sexism? Could you become a stronger ally to help us? What could we tell you that would help you.

We be a woman and make life harder for yourself?

the reality of being a woman

Here is a man who had a sex change, then decided to change back because living a woman was disappointing and shallow. Women are boring to talk to and too much shopping is dull, apparently.

But I'm still prepared to believe that the sense of being in the wrong body is something different. This individual was attracted to what he saw as the female lifestyle. He had 'feminine leanings'. It was all about gender for him.

LangCleg No problem, easy mistake to make. It only stuck in my mind as I thought the OP was moaning about lack of services while women can't even get a legal, on demand abortion.

yup research & marketing of drugs. Recognition of differing disease presentations in women. Lower rates of referrals to specialists (& greater number of contacts before referrals are made). Over diagnosis of metal health issues. But we have pink ribbons everywhere so I guess it's all okay really.

LangCleg "I live in Northern Ireland where there is only one Gender Identity Clinic for the whole country," Page 3.

Sorry, I take it back!

-healthcare inequality I have said this before but I'm gonna keep saying it but go watch Unrest on Netflix. Women's healthcare inequality isn't just about periods and wombs it extends beyond that, illnesses and disabilities which disproportionately affect women (female XX) get less funding for research and treatments. ( I think the one exception is breast cancer because everyone is on board with saving boobs supposedly. )

Thanks for answering my question about rights, ariadne - I asked what rights you reckoned you were missing, and I reiterated that of course you should have the same rights as anyone else to health, employment, education and services (with sex segregated protection for dignity, privacy and safety).

You answered about health only (presumably your rights are ok in relation to the other issues?). You said "The issue with trans healthcare is not so much lack of rights as it is lack of resources. I live in Northern Ireland where there is only one Gender Identity Clinic for the whole country, the waiting times are atrocious. But then again, that is an issue with most specialist treatments on the NHS. There are still countless institutions, such as doctors offices, banks etc etc that refuse to let trans people change their names, even when presented with a deed poll. So it is not so much that we need more rights, but that we need our current rights to be enforced throughout institutions. "

So - resources in NI are sparse. Goes for many issues in NI in particular, as you say, and also throughout the UK. Not an issue of trans rights, particularly.

The name change difficulty baffles me. This is nothing to do with trans rights. It is not always easy to change your name but with regard to the banks and financial services it's not prejudice but attention to security. With doctors, it's to track your health through the services, but of course you can change your name with your doc- people do it all the time! So....not convinced, sorry.

Asking again, what rights do you not have that you think you should have?

LangCleg "I live in Northern Ireland where there is only one Gender Identity Clinic for the whole country," Page 3.

They know nothing.

Indeed, as someone else said, post this on a male dominated site.

Why do women have to do all the asking or explaining and accommodating, why don't you ask men why they won't accept you as male?
Maybe they will.

I do sometimes feel like saying, 'You want to join us? Pull up a chair. Take a 25% pay cut, allow us to kick you hard in the stomach once every four weeks so that you can suffer the bruise-like pains of periods for a week each month. Shut up, so that men can speak over you, for you, instead of you, at meetings, in class, at parties. Get called out of meetings as the default parent (with womb=your career takes the knock if child is sick/needs dentist/has issues at school.) Come and join us. Sure you want this? Or just the blouses and girly chat?"

Exactly @MinaPaws. I can't help thinking that men want to be women until the reality of being a woman becomes clear to them and then instead of saying 'fuck me this is shit' they do the usual man thing of blaming women for everything and expecting women to solve all their problems for them.

Looks like the OP has done a runner. How flippin' predictable.

To be fair, I think they said they were in the US? They've probably gone to bed.

Looks like the OP has done a runner. How flippin' predictable.

Hi Ariadne!

Thank you for coming to chat to us and to learn. I'm sorry you are feeling overwhelmed, people have a lot of strong feelings and a lot of us are used to having to shout to be heard.

You strike me as someone who genuinely does want to open a reasonable dialogue and does have an appreciation of their own privilege. That is good and your voice is one that needs to be heard.

I first became aware of trans issues a few years ago and at the time, the prevailing line was 'sex and gender are not the same thing'. Which is more or less what you seem to be saying. That I can get behind, if gender is the way you feel, the way you present yourself and the way you are perceived by society, then I absolutely agree that there are (broadly speaking) two routes to womanhood. Because with that explanation, there was no demand to recognise trans women as female and therefore deny the biological reality of people born female.

In the last couple of years the rhetoric has changed dramatically, to 'gender determines sex'. I can understand why someone with gender dysphoria would want that to be true and were we to live in a world without sex discrimination, there would be little problem with it (outside of medicine that is). But as it is, what is happening is that the oppression that comes with having a biologically female body is being dismissed and denied. It is not just traditionally feminine qualities and appearances that have been considered weaker and oppressed. It is also the female body. There are things a person who has never had a uterus will never have to deal with or worry about personally. To dismiss those things as minor, or only 'a small part of womanhood' as is the tendency among TRAs shows a complete lack of understanding.

This post is already long, sorry. I will leave you with a question: why do you think that there is a tendency for trans activists to focus on 'educating' feminists/refuting 'TERFs' rather than on taking on men and tackling the bigger problem of patriarchy?

can you begin to understand why women experiencing all or some of the above do not have an awful lot of time for men claiming the literal violence of being called a man?