I am a transwoman, ask me anything.

To be fair it's a working day and this thread was only started six hours ago...

@Elendon Thank you! Sexual and gender freedom are issues very close to my heart, as are women's rights and equality. I often find it very hard to express clearly how I feel about the Trans issues because I want to just love everyone and 'live and let live' but of course if you let EVERYONE do whatever they want then some of the things one group/person wants will directly harm another group/person.

I'm glad that what I wrote this time actually makes sense for once!

Respect is giving a poster time to reply rather than having a moan because they haven't replied to you immediately, therefore confirming your belief prejudice that they are just here to shit stir.

Seriously, the OP DID give a whole pile of responses. Yet this is deemed as not good enough because...

The OP does not 'owe you a reply' if you want to talk about owing anything.

Either you want a debate, or you don't.

If they don't come back then fine, but honestly the demanding of a reply NOW smacks of the patience of a toddler. How is it helpful or fair? How does it encourage the much needed debate?

velourvoyageur Please don't even go there. I stuck up for JayceeDove against other posters on this board. I got stick but I felt what she said could be true. I was shown to be as green as grass. JayceeDove was all sympathetic on these boards to a poster going through a tough time due to her activism then went off to the Angels forum to laugh at her. Yeah, I was taken in just like many others were. JayceeDove is toxic under a "I really want to make things right, little old lady" veneer. You'll soon find out.

I know other posters do too.

Only the ones who didn't interact with that person only to find that those interactions - and they themselves, personally - were quoted and mocked elsewhere by that person. Because those posters aren't particularly appreciative.

Jaycee I've noticed your posts before and appreciate them and I know other posters do too. I'm sorry if you've felt trans people posting here haven't always been given the benefit of the doubt.
I think, while aggression is not on, obviously, it's just women can understandably be on edge when we anticipate that at some point we will be told what being a woman is and be asked to accept a transwoman's life experience as evidence for this definition, which seems to often happen in these AMAs, even if indirectly (just generalising, not saying the OP did this).

However I've seen teenagers totally innocently post on MN saying 'I'm a teen, AMA' and been absolutely crucified, it's really not necessarily a trans thing.

I haven't seen any disrespect, just disappointment at OP apparently bailing when we've taken the time to engage. I hope they come back.

I do not post on here now, not because I am afraid or ran away or think you are all transphobic, but because some of you rush to misjudge motives even when they are sincere.

Mishudge? When we as women as attacked on the streets, at meetings, on the internet. Physical attacks, emotional attacks, harassment and doxxing then we don't "misjudge" we self defend.

Can you please give me an example of physical or mental violence against trans people, real violence, not precieved, in the last 12 months?

I can give you numerous examples of physical violence against women in the past 2 months. Actual physical violence, threats and intimidation against women from MTF and tras.

While I am not blaming either you ornthe OP for this violence, nor am I suggesting you partook, I am simply using this to debunk the femists violence against MTF myth and to explain why we, as women, might be very wary of motives.

@soupforbrains Fri 04-May-18 12:04:13

Sorry for rambling

Your post was brilliant!

I haven't seen disrespect, just forthright opinions which is par for the course here.

Should we be surprised at the "I'm here" attitude? Quite frankly, (and this might be a bit rude, but...), I'm often struck at just how self-focused so many trans individuals are. (These are people willing to throw 52%'of the population under the bus for validation of their own identity.)

As an aside, I've come to realize (both personally and professionally) how important getting out of our own little mental bubbles is for our psycho-emotional health. When we start to see the world from a "large" perspective, and specifically other humans in need, we start to accept that our own issues are simply PART of it all.

Further, when we decide to actually DO something to help other people, we gain tremendous benefit. (I recall a patient with anorexia who battled for years with relapses, multiple admissions, etc. At the advice of one of her therapists, she started volunteering at a homeless shelter. Her recovery after that was remarkable. She told me she had to "get over herself" to finally find peace and acceptance of her body.)

For those calling out AriadneRose, please give her a chance.

I hope she will be back and say more as she has tried to be understanding. But it is not easy for a transwoman on here. It can feel very alienating and there is always much suspicion and doubt.

If you ask many questions that can only be answered by personal views or experiences they are attacked for being over long or mansplaining and so on. I guess some of that is necessarily true, given a transwoman's starting point, but they are still answers.

So it is a hard balancing act given how overpowering being trans is when you have had dysphoria and are just coming through.

I do not post on here now, not because I am afraid or ran away or think you are all transphobic, but because some of you rush to misjudge motives even when they are sincere.

I came here to learn and understand things. And have done both and have benefited. That is why I am still here reading but not posting any more. Because I am genuinely concerned about these problems and planned changes such as self ID and everything that I posted when I was on here was sincere.

But I know that I cannot make you believe that. So I am not going to try and will just listen. Please give Ariadne the chance. That's all I want to say.

Everyone is deserving of respect.
We just don't have to agree with them...

I think that if you stop showing respect, that's where any argument is ultimately won and lost.

The fact that transgenderism is a minor phenomenon isn't by itself enough to exclude trans people from "social, legal and medical significance".

My point was that the logic I was criticising makes M/F categories completely useless in a world where 'social, legal and medical' resources are classified and allocated according to a universally-applied binary. Why should there be a group known as 'men' and another as 'women' if only 2% of the population would have a clue which of the two they belonged in?
(I don't think you read my post, that's fine :) but then please don't make out I said anything like 'let's ignore trans people because there are relatively few numbers of people identifying as such')

Starting with an "I'm heeeeere" post is rather unusual for mn. I'm gonna pretend I'm new so everyone gives me cake.

I just feel open dialogue from both sides is necessary

Both sides? Ariadne, do you mean women and transwomen?

I understand the term 'women' to refer to adult, human females and am OK with that term and definition.

Whilst I don't like the term 'transwomen' (sounds like some transport vehicle company ore parcel delivery for women), I can see that you might want to apply it to men who want to look like women.

Are those the 'both' sides you would like to see in dialogue?

I think the whole thread is odd. Coming on here offering a 'personal perspective' as if we don't know transwomen ourselves and know nothing about the issues is patronising from the start. Ironic when she then betrayed total ignorance of women's issues.

Users don't owe new posters anything.

I'm not sure it's usual to offer new posters tea and cake, is it? If it is, in still waiting for mine. Although, admittedly, I didn't start with a 'I'm here!!!' post.

Users don't owe new posters anything.

BeyondParody - We're used to it, from being barefoot and pregnant in there!

Quite!

They hate it we won't go back and be good little girls.

We're used to it, from being barefoot and pregnant in there!

I think people can be surprised how fast moving MN can be. I suspect that they thought they could start the thread and come back in a few hours to answer the five or six questions waiting for them.

I don't think I'd be prepared for or be able to deal with the number of questions, if I hadnt been on MN before.

They come here to show us how reasonable and cuddly they are when all they want is for us to accept their point of view, see things from their hard done to perspective and shut up. When we don't, when we stand up and fight for our sex they don't like it and run. They come into the kitchen but can't stand the heat and hate it that we can.

Agree with Red