I am a transwoman, ask me anything.

The problem is that this thread is very typical of transwomen.

A thread to mansplain transwomen shows up that you don't get women's experience at all. You claim to feel like a woman it is abundantly clear you've no idea what that feels like at all.

If transwomen in general - and I have met some very clued up ones - were less ignorant of women's experience they would get much better response.

On the mental illness point - for me it is not whether this has an impact on your mental health (clearly it does - which is horrible) but the question is whether you consider your considering yourself to be a woman and the mismatch between your identity and your biological reality to be a mental illness?

^^ this is what I was trying to ask before .

Just identified. Weren't pregnant.

I think you’re doing really well, Ariadne. There are a lot of very angry people here, understandably so, but you’re doing a great job of staying calm. Hopefully others can show you the same respect.

If AriadneRose redefines 'woman' in such a way as to make it fit h, then it will no longer describe me. Or in all likelihood most women.

It's completely unacceptable to take a critically important biological name from billions of oppressed people and render it meaningless so that they can no longer refer to themselves as a group.

Just because you want it and you know you can only have it if you change it.

Leaving me with two options:
Either I concede that male people have successfully claimed the word for female, because they wield the power to do this, and I accept that my half of the human race no longer can refer to themselves in any way other than that approved by the males.

Or I hurt your feelings and say "you are not a woman, that word ONLY means adult human female, pick a new word for yourself and accept that we have the human right to be recognised as the opposite sex from you. Stop foisting 'gender' upon us - we don't share a gender or a sex with you. Stop it."

TLDR. I'm saying No.

There's only one type of woman, the biological kind. Anything else is pretty insulting.

Can you answer any of the questions regarding the TRA narrative and if that is representative of what trans people see as progression of acceptance, and what you believe counts as acceptance and validation? Is it enough to be accepted and treated with respect and dignity as a trans woman, or is the ultimate goal and pinnacle of acceptance to be considered a biological woman?

I'm only pushing this because I feel this is where the majority of the disconnect lies between women and trans women. I don't think there are any other groups that would be pitted against each other to the extent that those two are at the moment, because obviously if the answer to my question is "yes, the only real acceptance and validation is to be viewed as the exact same as a natal woman in all areas", then there will always be this conflict. Because of the disconnect with the reality, and the potential impact that disconnect can have on women.

Being a woman doesn't 'erase a target on your forehead'.

It makes you much more likely to be the victim of abuse, assault, harassment, sexual assault and violent crime.

It's really unhelpful to minimise the reality of male violence towards women in these discussions.

As this thread is discussing identity, a strange situation crossed my mind. If you identified as pregnant and then took abortion inducing pills, could you be imprisoned? It is life in NI.

Oh, balls! Yes caill, of course. I did know that, but it got muddled in my head while typing

On the mental illness point - for me it is not whether this has an impact on your mental health (clearly it does - which is horrible) but the question is whether you consider your considering yourself to be a woman and the mismatch between your identity and your biological reality to be a mental illness?

I understand why this is very emotive - because of the stigmatisation of mental illness. But to my mind the answer then is to destigmatise the notion of having this mental illness and establish protections and acceptable social practices to respond to people who are dealing with it. Not simply denying it and somehow trying to rearrange language to accommodate the mental illness.

In other (many more sorry...) words. To me there seems to be two broad category of people falling into these "trans" camp:

• people with gender dysphoria who have a genuine discomfort with their body.

• people who don't want to change their body but want to express their identify in ways which are not acceptable according to gender stereotypes.

Oh, hang on, and a third:

• controlling arseholes who want to use the movement to control other people and achieve their own ends.

The responses to each of these groups should be very different - but it seems to me that everyone is all rolled into one and in fact being largely dominated at least in public discourse by group 3.

Hi Ariadne
Are you gaining the impression that the continual framing of 'gender issues' as a battle between feminists and trans women is being pushed to advance an agenda that benefits neither women, nor feminists, nor trans people? There was an interesting suggestion upthread about part of the reason for pushing self-ID might be to enable further cuts to the NHS - but I have also heard mention of it being a way to promote the agenda of het-cis men to the effect that het-cis men are the only people who can be trusted with power, authority and privilege, because all other categories of not-quite-human are too busy fighting and crying...

As a man, how on earth can you know what being a woman "feels like"?

I'm guessing it's more a physical than a personality thing in this case? A severe discomfort with the body itself. Whether in the future the treatment would still be surgery is another question. Maybe in 50 years there will be some drug you can take, as you can for other mental disorders, and the whole idea of surgery will seem antiquated and cruel.

As a man, how on earth can you know what being a woman "feels like"?. You seem to fit more female than male stereotypes, that's fine. Doesn't mean you are a woman though. Why not accept that you are who you are without saying that you're something you're not?

I'd always taken the live and let live approach until someone shared a facebook post on here, where a woman had been accused of minimising the transwoman experience by saying that the transwoman wasn't having a period. It's just fact that she wasn't having a period. The hate the woman got for pointing that out was shameful. To my mind, the transwoman minimised female experiences by suggesting that whatever she was going through was in fact a period.

As this is the feminism forum... if you were given the choice between an extra gender clinic in NI and repealing the eighth, which would you choose?

The illegality of abortion in NI and the penalty of Life Imprisonment is separate to the situation in Ireland. The 8th Amendment to the Irish Constitution and penalty of up to 14 years imprisonment is applicable only in the jurisdiction of Ireland. There are some very restricted situations in which abortion is permitted.

If I look like a woman, and call myself a woman, I am erasing a target on my forehead

This is a very non female perspective if you don't mind me saying. No woman would say that they are not a target. We are the target for male violence.

You really shouldn't be subject to male violence at all - either as a man or as the transwoman that you now are. But to think that becoming a woman makes you not a target is to demonstrate a lack of understanding of what it is to be a woman.

You have been very restrained and thoughtful in your replies but I hope you can think about women's experiences more deeply.

I note by the way that you told us we could ask you questions in order to further understand where you are coming from - it being for us to understand you. I note that no one has asked women if they can ask them questions in order to further their understanding of where women are coming from.

Could you elaborate on the 'access to healthcare' problem. I've heard this before in relation to trans people, but had assumed it referred to the situation in countries like the USA, where people's health insurance is linked to their job, and if employers discriminate against trans people they can be left without access.

But in the UK, surely trans people have the same right to NHS treatment as everyone else? Or is that not always the case in practice? Or do you mean trans-specific things such as sex reassignment surgery/hormones, and psychological therapies for gender dysphoria? If so, are you worried that the current push for transgender identity to be seen as normal (and not an illness in need of treatment) will actually work against attempts to improve access to these services?

I would like to know - if there was treatment or counselling which could make you comfortable and happy with your body and gender as it was, would you have preferred that to surgery and hormones? Do you see people trying that as equivalent to a "gay cure" and transphobic? What about people saying, "you can be a man and dress any way you like," is that insulting to you?

I suppose I am trying to understand as the closest I have been to this feeling was being very ill and physically disabled for a few years, then (thanks to wonderful drugs) suddenly, overwhelmingly, better overnight. For a while I still felt like a disabled person in disguise or that I was just pretending to be like other able bodied people. I'm glad nobody encouraged this feeling and I got past it (instead of coming off the drugs so that my image of myself matched my body and my body worked less well - does that make sense)? I can't imagine a disabled rights group criticising me for taking treatment or criticising the people trying to help.

I guess I'm asking in a roundabout, waffly way how you feel about the recent activism and push for instant validation?

You are not a woman, you are a man. And until all of you can stand up and say, we are men, there is no conversation to be had.

And even then, there is no conversation to be had, because men have no legitimate claim on resources earmarked for women and girls or on protected spaces for women and girls. There is no conversation because men have no legitimate claim on any of the terminology or experiences that are specific to the biological reality of being a woman or a girl: whether that be 'vagina', 'period', 'lesbian', whatever.

You need protection from male violence? Many groups of males are vulnerable to male violence: the category 'woman' is not a convenient catch-all for all such men. The organisational abilities, political and media savvy of men such as yourself has been amply demonstrated. I am 100% positive that were the will there, you could effectively campaign for protection from male violence, as well as against toxic masculinity more generally. I am 100% convinced of your abilities and skills as a group to make that happen.

Oops, only posted half of that!

I meant to ask, would you support a "not in my name" movement against the misogynist activists? (misogynvists?)

'Is transgender a mental illness?'
That is a tricky one, because again I can't speak for other people, but for me? Yes. It negatively effects my emotional well being.

It sounds as though you're in a different situation to many of the new 'trans' people, Ariadne. What do you think of their activism and ideas, such as the 'cotton ceiling'? Are you comfortable with transwomen like Laurel Hubbard competing in women's sports? Or would you rather that such people weren't pushing the trans agenda?

I'm aware there is only one of you and many of us, but I would be very interested in your answer to my original question:

What is the definition of "woman"?

How do you know that you are a woman, according to this definition?

Also, agree with others that women aren't discriminated against because of our "identity". It's down to the physical reality of being female.

@Bowlofbabelfish I am talking about GENDER too. I expect @Ariadne is too