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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Hi Mumsnet, if you are asking feminist women to consider whether Mumsnet is for them, please be clear that the space *we* made here is for *all* of us.

338 replies

leyat · 02/05/2018 23:41

So apparently MNHQ is asking women they are suspending for saying things like men are men, to consider whether Mumsnet is for them.

I feel it's important to be clear that we want feminist women to have a home here, we - all the women who engage here - have made this board what it is (I'm relatively new so I am in awe of the women who have been shaping this wonderful space all this time) and we don't want women excluded from this space because they won't lie about biology and acquiesce to misogyny and genderism.

This is meant to be a kind of refuge for us, where we do not have to submit to male authority, where we can let off steam and share without needing to worry about dealing with misogyny, and where we can feel a degree of safety and find sisterhood. I can't think of anything more awful than a woman who comes here to share in this, in this one space we have that's meant to be ours, to then be told she should consider excluding herself because she won't bow to male authority on what a woman is.

So it needs saying, Mumsnet, this is a board for all feminist women, we don't want anyone excluded or made to feel that this space isn't for them too. And please understand many women come here from backgrounds of abuse, we do live in a climate of male violence and misogyny that is currently getting worse, so I hope MNHQ take time to ask themselves how they want to treat women who come here. Mumsnet own the site, but it's the women who use this space who made it the vibrant refuge of sisterhood and resistance that it is, so please don't shit on that or indeed on the women who actually engage on your forum.

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leyat · 03/05/2018 14:56

Meant to put 'boy stuff' and 'girl stuff' in quote marks :D

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leyat · 03/05/2018 14:54

@Maryz what does hiding from active mean in practice? I'm still quite new here...

@MipMipMip we must remember, the religious right are genderists just like trans ideology is genderist, they just disagree re the biology. What is the saying again...the right say that boys can only like boy stuff, trans activists say that boys who like girl stuff are really girls, and feminists say anyone can like anything and are fine as they are. My point being, they have far more in common than with feminists, it's only the feminist take that offer liberation from gender....

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leyat · 03/05/2018 14:50

@sisterbumfacedcat well if you're not interested in what other women are interested in that's fine, you're not forced to view or interact with posts you don't want to view or engage on, and there's nothing stopping you from posting on what you want to discuss. The idea that other people discussing things you aren't interested in means you don't want to engage on the board or on feminism at all is..bizarre...and as or MNHQ, I very much doubt they want rid of the feminism board just because MRA's have decided to attack it...

@Onthelist transwomen are literally male, only males can be transwomen, and yup totally agree re the crossover, there's also a really good article in the Guardian in the crossover of violent misogynist in trans activism and of incels. Re the site, I don't see how they can ban any and all feminist chat, which is what they would have to do if they ban chat regarding gender; as much as TA's want to make this is all about them, mostly what we are discussing is the meaning of our own bodies and our own reality and our own rights, so this could take place in many other parts of the forum. I just don't think they would ever want to do that or find it feasible. So much of what we discuss regarding gender doesn't even have to mention trans people/trans issues directly to be viewed as transphobic, and this is increasingly the case.

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MipMipMip · 03/05/2018 14:46

I was @Maryz. In fact I was disgusted at what I heard of not letting trans women use preferred toilets around the time of the Trump election. I clicked on an Active thread and learnt a bit. Then came on here and learnt a lot more. My mind has changed completely.

I admit I don't like siding with Trump on anything and the realisation that he knew more of the nuances involved than I did is pretty soul destroying!

Maryz · 03/05/2018 14:42

Lancelottie, it seems possibly not. But we will never know unless someone, somewhere, is actually allowed to do proper research on it. Not just self-selection questionnaire filling in.

Maryz · 03/05/2018 14:41

I expect we might be revisiting the topic of "let's hide FWR from Active" again, because wasn't the reason for doing that in the first place that the reports were taking too much of the mod's time?

Hiding from Active won't stop the TRA's seeing threads though, it'll just stop ordinary women seeing them

How many of us were entirely neutral (or even on the side of the translobby and the trodden-down minority etc etc) a couple of years ago, and only realised the wider implications by accidentally coming across threads here? I know I have - without MN I would have no idea that bonkers-ness like the NUS and their gender-neutral toilets were on the verge of being put into law, not to mention the issues of prisons, sports, statistics and safeguarding.

OnTheList · 03/05/2018 14:38

That post is not me saying transwomen are male either^

Its me saying that MRAs and many manyTRAs have significant crossover and seemingly the same goals. Take from that what you will.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 03/05/2018 14:38

Ironically I've decided the feminist chat section is not for me because it's dominated by the trans debate. Maybe MNHQ are getting fed up with it.

OnTheList · 03/05/2018 14:37

Have posted this before, but basically what MN are doing is giving in to MRAs.

And thats a horrible sign from a feminist website, tbh.

Hi Mumsnet, if you are asking feminist women to consider whether Mumsnet is for them, please be clear that the space *we* made here is for *all* of us.
OnTheList · 03/05/2018 14:35

I wasn;t meaning delete FWR. I mean shutting down conversation of trans stuff/GRA reforms alltogether. Just locking/deleting any thread started on the topic, anywhere.

Of course this would still not be enough for TRAs, who would swiftly move onto 'transphobic' campaigns and such. But this is just where I can see it all going. I hope I am wrong though. But giving an inch..to people like this..is totally the wrong thing to do. And this twitter reporting thing is just ridiculous. Why not encourage them to join up and actually partake in discussions, and report posts the normal way if they feel they cross the line?

Mind looking at the MNtransphobia twitter account thing, there is only one post that they have screenshotted that I would actually consider possibly transphobic. And even thats borderline rather than this apparent outright rampant transphobia thats here. Yes, I have seen transphobia posted here, but its always always deleted quickly. Because MN members report it. As they don't want to see transphobia either.

leyat · 03/05/2018 14:28

@Onthelist I said in one of my posts further back that even if they deleted the board, we would still be able to discuss feminism on MN on other mainstream boards and everything that we talk about here could still be talked about by all of us, so deleting the board wouldn't do anything except provide terrible optics for MN & create a lot of bad feeling between MNHQ and MN users.

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Lancelottie · 03/05/2018 14:27

But do suicidal thoughts and actual suicides go down after transition? A year later, 5 years, 20 years later, are outcomes measurably better for these children?

OnTheList · 03/05/2018 14:25

Basically, I think justine may have had a rethink, after putting her name so publicly to the GC debate and experiencing the wrath of these people. Given she has already suffered at the hands of MRAs, I cannot blame her for not wanting to go through it all again.

Maryz · 03/05/2018 14:24

CharlieParley, it seems any mention of safeguarding at all is transphobic now. So obviously any mention at all of the treatment of children that isn't 100% positive, affirming and suicide-preventing is also transphobic.

OnTheList · 03/05/2018 14:23

The Twitter moderating it’s a proper brain fart though and hopefully it will be reversed as it’s fucking insane.

I am a bit worried that the twitter reporting idea has been introduced as a way for MN to say 'its not worth the effort we have to put in moderating the topic' tbh. I know that sounds really conspiracy like, but they have to know they will be piled on with reports from transactivists, given even talking about anything to do with female biology is considered transphobic!

Not too long ago, HQ mentioned that the amount of reports was ridiculous and that we should basically self moderate. And now this open invitiation to TRAs to spam MN with reports.

I hope I am wrong. But honestly, nothing else makes sense to me. I can understand them wanting to bow out, afterall this is one of the only spaces that actually allow discussion on the topic and they will come in for some shit because of that. Hell talking about it all on twitter has got me death threats, rape threats,n threats against my family, and even a visit from the police. So to be the ones facilitiating other women talking freely on the topic, the abuse will be much much worse and I dread to think. When Milwall say they have never seen anything like it, MPs say the same and so on, it has to be bad. I expect the abuse against HQ will be even worse, as the founder is female. and its females who get the worst of it from TRAs. Hence the attack on MN, and not any of the other male dominated spaces where actual transphobia is so rampant. Women on twitter saying anything vaguely GC are attacked, meanwhile men can use transphobic slurs and be absolutely awful about transpeople, and not a peep.

Dancingleopard · 03/05/2018 14:15

For me FWR is one of the corner stones of MN. At times it’s honestly made me take the misogynistic rose tinted specs off. If the prominent voices leave it will be a sad day for MN.

I just don’t believe (maybe hopeful thinking) that MNHQ are bowing down to pressure - hopefully more like a temporary measure till they find their legal arse covering stance.

The Twitter moderating it’s a proper brain fart though and hopefully it will be reversed as it’s fucking insane.

The general public just don’t know about the real problems the trans movement is causing. After speaking to my 85 year old granny this morning about trans women taking female jobs she replied with ‘ah but they have allways felt like a lady’ Hmm she was shocked when I told her self I’d would entitle them to do..

YogaDrone · 03/05/2018 14:12

What sets Mumsnet apart from other fora is the level of articulation, specialised knowledge in so many areas - medical, legal, academic, educational etc. Those people who are willing to share their knowledge and wisdom with others across the whole of the board. And also the people who offer such incredible emotional support to those suffering in abusive relationships. It's an amazing and unique space and it centres women Flowers

Please @Mumsnet do not dilute free speech or the standard of debate within FWR. Yes, it's robust at times, and you get the odd nob, but it's pretty much critical thinking at it's finest. It would also be completely contrary to the assertion Justine made so recently in the press.

I agree that if FWR goes those wishing to close down critical thought and free speech will move to other topics like AIBU, Parenting or even Pregnancy.

You can see why I rarely post here (#inarticulate) but I read, I take it in, I share it with my family and friends. I want to very sincerely thank those like Datun , AAK , AssingedPuuurfect , RedToothBrush and all of the very learned feminists, and feminist supporters who take the time to engage in important debates about all aspects of feminism Flowers

CharlieParley · 03/05/2018 14:11

Whoever has started that Twitter account screenshotting posts allegedly displaying transphobia on mumsnet has an odd definition of transphobia.

They screenshot one of my posts containing nothing but facts about Jazz and the Jazz Jennings TV show.

In response to someone asking how can you say xyz about Jazz Jennings I replied by explaining about the TV show and what the show has told us about the effects of puberty blockers on Jazz. I neither deadnamed nor misgendered the child. I didn't speculate or insinuate anything. Just facts made entirely public by Jazz, Jazz's parents and Jazz's doctors.

Given all of the above, the only thing they can be objecting to is that I said that women are concerned about these children because despite early affirmation and medically transitioning, Jazz is clinically depressed and has not developed any sexual function at all (which is of course not a desirable outcome).

Being concerned about the welfare of children subjected to a new and untested treatment regimen is transphobic now?

When all the parents here were pushed into vaccinating their children against swine flu, I decided against it, after properly looking into the efficacy of the vaccine vs the possibility of vaccine damage. Despite deciding not to vaccinate my older DC, I briefly considered having my preschooler vaccinated after the GP and the school urged me to do so. However, once I found out that the vaccine used for the under 4s in the UK was explicitly disallowed for this purpose elsewhere in the EU, I declined.

As a result of the vaccine hundreds of children were severely disabled across Europe, including one of my son's classmates.

There have been no real consequences for the pharma industry selling the vaccine despite knowing of this possibility. Or for the Department of Health pushing the vaccine who also knew and didn't advise the parents. There won't be. Just as there won't be for damage to the children given supposedly harmless puberty blockers.

The only way we can protect children from iatrogenic harm is to speak up when we are worried. To raise our concerns. To ask for caution.

Now with the swine flu that was almost impossible - it was an acute situation, presented as an emergency and things moved far too fast for proper scrutiny to be given. But these puberty blockers are an ongoing issue. We have that time and we should take it to demand proper scrutiny before more children are damaged.

And I stand by that. If warning about iatrogenic harm to children from an untested treatment is transphobic, then I'll wear that label. But I won't shut up about it.

PermissionToSpeakSir · 03/05/2018 14:03

There is always a bigger picture!

My hope is that it is: - show us some actual transphobia then.

But then deleting for correctly sexing ... Hmm

RosenbergW · 03/05/2018 14:03

I'd like to know who is running the twitter account too, the way this is being dealt with is far outside of reasonable.

PermissionToSpeakSir · 03/05/2018 14:01

Who the hell is running their twitter account? Not another fucking intern?

I did wonder if Emma still has the login password..

R0wantrees · 03/05/2018 14:00

I think the twitter account may be a pragmatic response. There is always a bigger picture!

therealposieparker · 03/05/2018 13:58

Who the hell is running their twitter account? Not another fucking intern?

HarryLovesDraco · 03/05/2018 13:57

Reading the mumsnet twitter account is enlightening. They are responding to the harassment with appeasement rather than ignoring or muting. I wonder why?

leyat · 03/05/2018 13:53

@OvaHere Thu 03-May-18 13:08:18
"Sadly there is no bargaining power here really

Well there is some, at the moment for the most part we stay contained in FWR. If FWR goes the discussion won't go away, it will move to more mainstream parts of the board."

I agree with this completely. I'm not going anywhere, my response to TA's targeting Mumsnet trying to silence us is to make sure I post here even more. I have never posted as much since I joined as I have the last two days, and that is completely down to the fact they are attacking the platform, this board, and the feminist women who engage here.

TA's want us to leave, MNHQ hopefully don't and will hopefully do better in dealing with this and reassert their commitment to free speech. But as you say Ovahere, even if MNHQ completely capitulated and deleted this board, I would be very upset and do all I could to raise the issue (and the optics would be that they had been harassed by TA's to do so, so not a good look for their movement) but I would stay, for many of the reasons I have in my post - we need to fight our ground not give it up.

We can discuss issues elsewhere in Talk, feminism chat would just disperse across the site and actually that might involve even more women as a result (although I definitely want to retain our distinct space for it and I think most MN users would prefer that).

In other words, even if we have to stop using correct pronouns (of course we don't need to use preferred pronouns either) and even if we lost this board, we can still be here, discussing all of this, as long as Mumsnet doesn't ban feminist talk of any kind on any board, which of course would be unthinkable, I mean, how would you even do that and how could it be defended....

So I really hope women don't go anywhere, we make this space what it is, as long as Mumsnet is around so can we be....

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