How short is too short?

Whoever is responsible for ensuring the professional dress code is properly adhered to has the problem of addressing your colleague's microskirts.

It's possible, I suppose, that your colleague has never encountered the belief that tiny clothes are inappropriate for professional environments.
However, given the prevalence of widespread and universal societal interest in what women wear, how they wear it, is it too short/long/frumpy/slutty/conservative/unconventional etc, it seems unlikely that anyone actually reaches adulthood without an understanding that short skirts are an unprofessional choice IN A SCHOOL.
Heck, I bet the girls' uniforms are policed regularly enough for it to be impossible to be oblivious to this.

It seems at least possible that the short skirts are not an inadvertent mistake, but rather a deliberate choice and defiance of the rules. All in an environment where children (assuming this is a school with girls) are trying to grow up with role models showing them they are not the sexual objects society wants them to be.

Someone who has had the good fortune of growing up without the pressure to conform to the image of a sexual object may see this as 'empowering', like Paris Lees singing the praises of catcalls and street harassment.
But for girls growing up this is anything but a positive thing. And they are entitled to learn in an environment that doesn't sexualise them, their bodies, their clothing.

I hope the situation is addressed by whoever is responsible.

And yes, SLT.

In one school they ended having to be very prescriptive about dress code. Part of it was health and safety due to the setting which was Sen - no flip flops, ideally toes covered (I worked out trainers were best for runners ) but we started to have an issue with hip hugging tracksuit bottoms that would reveal a thong when bending over. So, no mid rif bare flesh. Short tunics worn with leggings. And in another school it had to be spelt out about breasts not spilling over bras.

A member of staff wore an extremely short skirt and bare legs for a leavers assembly (primary) and had bent over to do usual broken IT stuff. I think that was a final straw. Jeans only ever allowed on trip days.

I hadn't noticed that the person was trans except when I read comments. The above stands for who ever it is.

Surely this is a matter for the senior leadership team to address, not a colleague?

Exactly - in a specific, practical matter, this isn't a 'feminism' issue, it's a management issue. If you have a problem with how someone's dressing at work, or how other people are behaving, you need to talk to your manager/HR.

If you want to talk in general about the suitability of mini skirts and the dress code expectations put upon women, then that's different, and totally a discussion we've had here.

Surely this is a matter for the senior leadership team to address, not a colleague?

How can I tactfully say "people are talking about how short your skirts are, tone it down" in a supportive way, without undermining her right to wear what she wants.

You can't. Either the outfits are appropriate for the job or they aren't.

Is this being talked about a lot? Are colleagues or pupils openly mocking your friend behind their back? Are they bitching nastily? Are they likely to escalate to a complaint about it to management? Do you feel what they are wearing fails to meet the professional standard for the dress code?

You've got three choices, haven't you?

• Say nothing and let the cards fall where they will.

• Tell your friend that the skirts they're wearing aren't work appropriate and they should start wearing more professional outfits before they get into any official trouble.

• Tell your colleagues that they are being spiteful and nasty and should shut up making personal remarks about someone they work with who is doing no harm.

No pretty way around it, I'm afraid.

Could you come at it from a "we have to set a good example to students about complying with the dress code" angle? That way she wouldn't feel singled out for being transgender

The trouble is, there's the feminist angle of sure, a woman should be able to wear what she wants and men should keep their leering and hands to themselves, then there's the extra angle of but we live in a patriarchy, and her desires will have been affected by that socialisation, and so she may be wearing that short skirt not because it's actually practical or comfortable, but to cater to the male gaze etc.. basically - the full analysis of it.

But then it hits practicality, and real life, and in real life we have to temper our feminist theory with pragmatism. In this case, it really depends how inappropriate the skirts are - it's not that they're short per se, it's that they don't meet the conservative standards required by the office. Plenty of full coverage clothes wouldn't either.

You also need to consider how and why you're saying it - as a friend? As a colleague? As a supervisor? Of course it requires a lot of thought - and if I was a colleague then I wouldn't consider it my business (and that spills over into friend, if they're only a friend due to being colleagues)

I work for an investment bank and some women do like to wear miniskirts with bare legs in the summer, but only when there aren’t client meetings. When meeting clients our MD has set a strict and comprehensive dresscode for men and women that details exactly what is acceptable and what isn’t.

I think they are perfectly capable of seeing the feminist perspective on Style and Beauty.

I think the feminist angle is that women are already at a disadvantage in the workplace and 'professional' clothes aim to take the focus off women's skin so that they're perceived as colleagues rather than sex objects.

However, I see younger women wearing work clothes I'd never have considered in my 20s, and I say nothing unless people ask my opinion (which never happens).

I don't think it's relevant that your colleague is trans, unless your point is that she may be unfamiliar with women's experience of being sexually objectified at work. But if it were me I'd still say nothing - it's for her manager to address if anyone.

In general, I think it is helpful to offer other people insights into how to navigate the patriarchy, as well as how to smash it. I also like people to point out issues with clothes rather than ignore them.

In this case, I think it’s a case of whether the colleague feels like a friend or not. If so, saying ‘it’s shit but women get taken more seriously at work if they wear skirts between certain specific lengths’ might work, and she’ll appreciate that it is meant well. But if she’s very tall, she may know this and be struggling to find something long enough, so will then feel embarrassed.
If she’s not a friend, I’d leave it.

You are not her boss, so just leave it!

It is up to her manager

Is she very tall? As a 6ft-er even a demure and dowdy Joules dress only hits mid-thigh on me

If she is trans, let her to it. It wont be reflecting badly on women in the office. If it was a younger woman i was fond of, id risk a quick word

Surely that's for the SLT to deal with if it's an issue.

Are they new to the workplace? Perhaps they'll realise what they are wearing is strikingly different to others and in time will purchase some new work clothes.

Their manager will obviously say something and refer them to the dress code if they think it ks an issue.

I don't think it's up to you to tell her. If her boss has a problem with it they will deal with it.

Work dress code - or say nothing. If it's not referenced in the dress code for adults and unless you are their line manager, then it's not your business.

Take this over to the staff room.

allymacbeagle that is the best username!

Good idea - style and beauty will probably be much more informative.

Ally beat me to it!

I suggest you post on Style and Beauty - they know their stuff.