Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Does "dropping the ball" work?

81 replies

vinegarqueen · 01/05/2018 06:13

Keep on seeing idiot posts in the Guardian comment threads along the lines of:

"I'd do the washing up/look after the kids/do laundry, but I'm not allowed and my wife gets there first."

Yes, stupid women for actually doing jobs. I always wonder how long these blokes leave these jobs before they are done by their OH.

Out of interest, has dropping the ball (ie, just leaving household chores till male partner does them) worked for anyone on here without some serious conversations beforehand -and a cattle prod- ? My partner does do a lot of chores but it's taken a lot of explaining that he can't just choose to do the washing up three days later as it makes me suffer the mess and it is worse than nothing, etc etc

OP posts:
tortelliniforever · 01/05/2018 06:34

I think it can work for some things but my dh isn't "that" bad ie he does the washing up, clears up etc. He does do some things to a very low standard, however! When I was in hospital, one meal for DS consisted of - a piece of ham. (I mean - at least put it in some bread and make a sandwich??) He is a bit better on the food front now but needs checking up on regarding "his" jobs. Recently, a failure to deal with paperwork led to us overpaying a bill by 500 euros which I was furious about so I feel that in some areas "dropping the ball" just means we will all suffer the consequences. To be fair, I have my own failures too!

Luglio · 01/05/2018 06:33

The only thing that works is not shacking up with a misogynist in the first place, sorry.

If he thinks it's your job, nothing you can say or do will convince him otherwise.

Original poster
vinegarqueen · 01/05/2018 06:30

And Emerance sorry about your medical emergency. I'm a luddite but I'd send Flowers if I could work it out..

OP posts:
Original poster
vinegarqueen · 01/05/2018 06:28

Emerence my dad is like that. We weren't left with him but if left in the house by himself for any length of time it looks like a troll has been in there, dog not walked and fed on leftovers.

It wouldn't occur to him to do the dishwasher and he'd resent the idea that he wasn't pulling his weight even though he literally had to just wash his own dishes and look after an easygoing dog.

OP posts:
Emerencealwayshopeful · 01/05/2018 06:19

Also, he now does do some of the things I used to. But he’s resentful and absolutely believes I’m unreasonable wanting the kitchen cleared after dinner rather than washing up/stacking the dishwasher from dinner while the kids eat breakfast.

Emerencealwayshopeful · 01/05/2018 06:17

I found myself in emergency last July followed by 4 weeks in hospital. Surprising no one but himself by day 4 the children were arriving at school not in full uniform and the entire household imploded.

All of that is why I didn’t ‘drop the ball’ and let him get on with it earlier. He couldn’t do it in an emergency situation and in a non emergency situation he wouldn’t have stepped up.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread