DARVO, coercive control etc

Haha, ‘ploppers’ I get!

Sealioning sounds like a bit of an own goal around here, as surely it will just leave threads full of well reasoned, very clearly explained, most likely referenced arguments for other people to read, and the sealion just looks like an idiot.

Ah well. This is where prioritising self-care is important when engaging in any kind of activism. Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.

Yes aka "ploppers" a more Mumsnet name!

Sea lioning is a form of trolling where someone pretends to be listening to you in good faith, and has almost, but not quite understood what you are saying. So the person being sea lioned is worn down by the frustration of having to repeat the same arguments over and over again. And whatever other discussion was happening is normally completely derailed.

Coercive control is using emotional tactics to control people. This can include violence and threats of violence as a form of emotional terrorism (my controlling abusive relationship did) but it doesn't have to. Emotional blackmail by threatening self harm/suicide is a common tactic. I think the parallels with transactivists, incels and MRAs are rather obvious here.

Can I piggy back on this and ask what sea lioning refers to? I keep seeing it referenced here and not understood the meaning. I understand what a straw (wo)man is.

I’ve also seen some posts/posters referred to as “seagulls” and slightly confused by that although assumed it had something to do with flocking/attacking.

Or they will deliberately gaslight the victim by claiming that they are "aggressive" or mentally unstable in some way.

DARVO is Deny Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.

So for instance if you remember after speakers Corner a TRA wrote a piece based on their biased interpretation of a poor video of it that Maria McLachlan was the aggressor and a lot of people looked no further than that and assumed she was. When actually with subsequent footage, the fact that Tara Wolf had expressed an intention to cause trouble, and from descriptions by people actually there it was very clear who the victim was. This dynamic is very common in domestic abuse cases where the abuser will often claim to have acted in self defence and that they are the victim.