Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

London Review of Books article. Who has the right to sex.

68 replies

Meeep · 26/04/2018 13:42

www.lrb.co.uk/v40/n06/amia-srinivasan/does-anyone-have-the-right-to-sex

Thought this was interesting, and you guys would maybe find it interesting too.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Teacuphiccup · 27/04/2018 09:32

I spent most of my teenage years pretending I was way more into sex than I was. If anything the opposite was true, I was all pillow fights and daisy dukes in public and all eating multi packs of monster munch and playing skateboard games on the computer in private.

OrchidInTheSun · 27/04/2018 09:15

I think you're bang on Teacup. I read one saying that they dressed like a teenager because they missed out on being a teenager and the fun silly clothes you can wear at that age.

They missed out the horror of having old blokes leering at you, periods at school, PE lesson humiliation and toxic relationships which are a staple of most girls' teenage years. Because it's just about short flippy skirts, PJ parties and coquettish giggling.

LangCleg · 27/04/2018 08:45

Miranda Yardley said these people conflate feeling sexy with feeling like a woman and I think that's about it.

Teacuphiccup · 27/04/2018 08:26

I sometimes get the feeling that a certain type of male believes that there’s a secret female sex club that they just can’t get an invitation too.

That behind closed doors women are all having pillow fights and orgies, that we are all hot to trott all the time and are doing it indiscriminately all the time but just stop whenever they come into the room.

OrchidInTheSun · 27/04/2018 04:15

My iPad wants to put two Rs in Serano

OrchidInTheSun · 27/04/2018 04:14

That's a brilliant analogy @DancelikeEmmaGoldman

I haven't read the article but I don't need to as you've all comprehensively taken it down. Sounds like a more erudite Julia Serrano

DancelikeEmmaGoldman · 27/04/2018 02:48

I can't imagine any man saying: "I wanted to transition so I could get paid less; have good ideas co-opted by male colleagues; end up doing the admin in projects; putting up with put-downs and sexist comments from male colleagues; worrying about walking home alone; deciding if you're safer in a cab with an unknown driver or catching a train at night; constant awareness that you're never young enough, thin enough or pretty enough for social approbation; knowing that having an unpopular opinion online won't lead to you being fluffed by handmaidens, but rape threats from men and if you're really unlucky real sexual assault because you wanted to express your desire."

In lots of ways being a woman seems like running a circus - the outside might be sparkly lights and glitter, but backstage it's sweaty hard work to keep everyone happy. Some men buy a ticket to the performance and want to run away to the circus, but once there, have no interest in shovelling elephant dung or selling fairy floss or carting water to the horses.

thebewilderness · 27/04/2018 02:11

Definitely not chicks with dicks. Absolutely d00dz with tits.

Destinysdaughter · 27/04/2018 01:02

I found this admission from a TIM about why they transitioned interesting:

"I transitioned for gossip and compliments, lipstick and mascara, for crying at the movies, for being someone’s girlfriend, for letting her pay the check or carry my bags, for the benevolent chauvinism of bank tellers and cable guys, for the telephonic intimacy of long-distance female friendship, for fixing my make-up in the bathroom flanked like Christ by a sinner on each side, for sex toys, for feeling hot, for getting hit on by butches, for that secret knowledge of which dykes to watch out for, for Daisy Dukes, bikini tops, and all the dresses, and, my god, for the breasts."

Destinysdaughter · 27/04/2018 01:00

Wow reading that article made my head hurt.

Need a lie down now!

cromeyellow0 · 27/04/2018 00:33

It would be helpful if authors who believe that transwomen are identical to women for sexual purposes could provide some supporting evidence from their personal lives.

E.g. a hypothetical heterosexual female philosopher could write: "I have slept with [insert number] transmen and can attest that manvulvas are indistinguishable from penises."

This would avoid any accusations of hypocrisy.

AngryAttackKittens · 27/04/2018 00:20

There are lots of men who I take seriously as men (as in, I know they're men, this is not in dispute) who I wouldn't have sex with. The majority of men fall into that category, in fact.

Putting aside the whole question of is A really B, anyone who believes that people are required to have sex with them in order to prove that they take them seriously is either a rapist or will become one the moment they think they can get away with it. Which this article is setting them up to be able to do.

Meeep · 26/04/2018 23:38

Sorry 0phelia - I haven't gone anywhere.

I don't really approve of sex-positive feminism in patriarchy to be honest.

OP posts:
20nil · 26/04/2018 23:19

Also found this confusing and disappointing. She writes well and has a great reputation so I was keen to read. But OMG all the cis stuff. Really? Impossible to take any of it seriously after that.

bluescreen · 26/04/2018 22:49

[Rebecca Solnitz fangirl here]

bluescreen · 26/04/2018 22:46

You've reposted the original link that was in the OP.
I did, but there's comments BTL posted since, including Rebecca Solnit's, so I thought it worth reposting.

0phelia · 26/04/2018 22:34

bluescreen You've reposted the original link that was in the OP.

0phelia · 26/04/2018 22:33

Where's the OP gone? Do they have an opinion I wonder.

bluescreen · 26/04/2018 22:31

The article is quite subtle. Then there's this letter by Rebecca Solnit, whose name is taken in vain, under the link. And a reply by the author. Not worth frothing about but worth a look.
www.lrb.co.uk/v40/n06/amia-srinivasan/does-anyone-have-the-right-to-sex

Ereshkigal · 26/04/2018 22:22

I will hound you until you agree I'm a woman, and then I will hound you for sex because you agree I'm a woman.

That's the TRA maxim. Always push that little bit further. No concession is ever enough.

KittTheCar · 26/04/2018 22:09

Q. Who has the right to sex?
A. No-one

Do I need to read the article?

Datun · 26/04/2018 22:02

I will hound you until you agree I'm a woman, and then I will hound you for sex because you agree I'm a woman.

Ereshkigal · 26/04/2018 21:53

Or maybe it's because they get called bigoted transphobes if they don't agree they're women.

Setting them up to fail, really.

Exactly.

0phelia · 26/04/2018 21:52

And then there was this quote:
"Trans women often face sexual exclusion from lesbian cis women who at the same time claim to take them seriously as women".

Umm, maybe it's because a lot of people don't really see transwomen as women and are just saying they do to be nice?

Not kidding, word for word, this is exactly what I was going to post!

Datun · 26/04/2018 21:46

*Trans women often face sexual exclusion from lesbian cis women who at the same time claim to take them seriously as women."

Or maybe it's because they get called bigoted transphobes if they don't agree they're women.

Setting them up to fail, really.

Swipe left for the next trending thread