Your peaktrans moment for today! Top this if you can.

HoneyDragon
What is actually rude or disrespectful is someone appropriating womanhood to the point of saying they have periods or that a phantom pregnancy and miscarriage is the same as an actual pregnancy loss.
I’ve lost a baby, due to my female biology and pregnancy complications. And it’s thanks to the same female biology that I can’t have any more children. To compare my experience and the experiences of quite literally millions of other women over time and throughout the world to some delusion is so unbelievably disrespectful I can’t find words strong enough to express how I feel. And then you tell us it’s rude and violent not to use someone’ s preferred pronouns? You really have no idea.

I’ve passed clots the size of fucking hamsters before. Good luck appropriating those.

but I do think that implying that "all trans people think trans women have periods" is a bit dogwhistley.

I'm pretty certain no one is implying that. It would be illogical and patently not true.

But it's irrefutable that there is a significant cohort of men under the trans umbrella who fetishise womanhood and pretend they menstuate, can get pregnant, breastfeed, etc.

Autogynephilia isn't at all niche. And fetishising women's actual biology is part of it.

@Ardant - yes, I'm uncomfortable about this thread. Yes, the assertion that a person with a man's body can have periods, etc. is quite wrong, and anyone should be allowed to say so. Obvs. But I feel uncomfortable about holding up an individual or small group saying or doing something bonkers and ridiculing them as an exemplar of a wider group. "Transphobic" is such an over-used term that I hate to use it, but I do think that implying that "all trans people think trans women have periods" is a bit dogwhistley.

but but but but

But that’s what the trans activists say!!!

It’s literally the opposite of what we are saying.

Gender is really a philosophy these days. You can’t agree or disagree with it. People should be able to identify themselves as they wish. However, I will not partake in delusions such as “trans women have periods”. Identify as you wish, I will call you by your preferred pronoun and treat you as your chosen gender- just don’t deny you bilological origins nor vilify me for my femininity.

Aka, I would be very, very, offended if someone reduced me to a mere “mensturator” while they should be refering to me as a woman. I’m also irritated by being called a “cis-woman”. Call me a woman because that’s what I am and no one has the right to take that away- just because other groups of people are fighting to be called a women.

Feminine hygiene products should be called just that as menstruating originates from womanhood and is typically a female function around certain ages.

Teacup - you have it right!

Quite a derail and a bit of DARVO.

The period thing is like fantasy play.

Hi TransAuthor I can't speak for anyone else on here but I can give you my perspective.

I have always used peoples preferred pronouns when speaking to them or about them. Or if I wasn't sure I would use "they". It really didn't matter to me and it obviously did to them. Until very recently.

But the more I read (especially on twitter) about some transactivists' view of me, about the names they call me and (on one memorable occasion) the ACTUAL violence I was threatened with merely for stating that biology is a reality has shocked me out of both my politeness and my passivity.

The threat to me was from an individual who assured me that he knew where I lived and that he would track me down and cave my head in. Because I asked him in what way his biology was the same as mine. Apparently that was transphobic.

FYI I am a woman. Under the current trend I suspect that I would identify as GNC or agender as I don't subscribe to feminine stereotypes at all and don't "identify" as female. I'm a woman because of biology and that was what I said. Apparently he is a better woman than me because he shaves his legs, has better make-up skills and can walk in heels. None of which matter to me or affect me in any way. But the fact that even without those things I am still a woman in a way he can never be seems to have enraged him so much he threatened me with actual violence. You know, the sort that hurts, or can kill you.

So for me now it's not all out war but my views are changing. Not because of here (I see some stuff on here that I don't agree with too but nobody has threatened to hurt me for saying so) but because it seems that there is no mutual respect for me from the TRA community.

Not, I need to add, from trans people per se. I still have friends who are trans, I will continue to cherish them and respect them the same as I always have.

But I won't be bullied into saying that somebody who isn't female is a woman just because he says so and them watch him trample all over MY rights and feelings. I've had enough.

I fully support trans rights to live as they choose with no prejudice or intimidation. But not at the cost of womens' rights. Not any more.

So now apparently I am transphobic because I will argue that transwomen are not women, and transmen are not men. I will argue that they are in a set of their own and need a 3rd space to protect them. I'll happily stand alongside them and fight for them to have that space. But I won't budge up. Not any more.

Why should you be compelled to pretend that you do? Respect for other humans.

Yeah, I don't respect that person, though. Nor what they are saying.
I have no respect for them whatsoever. Quite the opposite. I have nothing but contempt for what they are saying and doing to that woman.

MissTeri

I don't understand what faer means

There was a comment on a thread, (which I now can't find) which looked at the word Faye or Fae. As it is used as a surname by quite a few transactivists.

It meant something, apparently.

I can't recall exactly, but it might have had something to do with ejaculation? It was something sexual, in any event.

Lang

I always thought it meant that women and men suited their gender roles because they were biologically programmed to be that way. Like men are hunter gatherers crap.

Not, women have periods.

I'm an atheist but I respect people who believe in God so I don't go rub my beliefs in their faces.

But can I assume you believe in gender identities aka souls? Because that is a religious belief. I'm surprised to see it in atheist.

What is biological essentialism and how is it transphobic?

As is usual with transactivism, biological essentialism is used in a sense that is precisely opposite to its actual meaning. Never ask for definitions - it only ever leads to yet another Looking Glass journey!

Also: one person's misgendering is another person's mis-sexing. Neither is violence. Depending on context, both are sometimes rude. Nobody can live an entire life attempting to mandate that nobody is ever rude to them - or they can, but they will be unsuccessful, trans or otherwise.

Excellent post bowl!

I don't understand what faer means anyway. They aren't fairies because faeries don't have periods either. - Careful. You're one step away from claiming fairies don't exist and then we'll really see some blood shed I'm sure!!

"I'm an atheist but I respect people who believe in God so I don't go rub my beliefs in their faces. I treat them with dignity."

This is not the same thing. The same thing would be those Christians saying "isn't God wonderful and heaven a lovely place?" And you being forced, against your belief to say "oh yes. I believe wholeheartedly in god and he is fantastic and heaven is just brilliant!"

I will respect my religious friends by not disparaging them for their religion and by standing up for their rights to hold that opinion without censure in a secular society.

At the same time, I reserve the right to criticise the ideology itself in general debate in as robust terms as I wish.

There is a huge difference between discrimination against someone because they are religious (which is illegal and immoral) and criticising a religion as an idea. (Which is an essential right in a free society.)

So if I fire Sarah for being Christian I’m quite rightly going to expect the law to knock on the door. If I say I have serious problems with how fundamental Christianity treats women for example then that’s NOT breaching any ethical or legal boundary.

What you’re asking us to do by saying we believe men are women Is akin to banning criticism of an ideology.

I support transwomen in their legal protections to not be discriminated against because of their transwomenhood. Just like I support my religious friends in not being discriminated against in their beliefs.

I do not, and will not, give up my right to criticise the underlying ideologies underlying either religion or the transactivist movement.

No civilised society legislates belief.

@TransAuthor Deliberately using the wrong pronoun is an act of violence

Please explain how it is an act of violence? Not how it is unkind, but how it is actually violence?

I don't see why we should respect their pronouns out of courtesy when they have been so aggressive and vicious.

I don't understand what faer means anyway. They aren't fairies because faeries don't have periods either.

NowtSalamander Hah, I get that too as I've kept my name. Funny thing is, sometimes people call DH Mr CharlieParley and when they realise their mistake they apologise. They'd never dream of apologising to me.

And I've been with my DH for over 20+ yrs but even the family can't be bothered. Have not had a single year, not one, where the extended family has spelled or pronounced my name right. Christmas cards are an absolute delight. And they all spell it in their own special way.

I shall inform them in my cards* this year that they are literally committing violence.

*always send mine first hoping if they have a recent reference they'll get it right

So I should tell lies to respect other humans? Should I pretend I believe in God when speaking to Christians? Should I pretend I believe the earth is flat when speaking to flat earthers?

And respect works both ways. I see no respect for women and our rights, spaces, and boundaries coming from the trans community. Only threats, insults and violence.

By referring to that person as a ‘she’ then it muddies the conversation completely, the reason they can’t have a period is because they are Male, full stop.
It’s a sleight of hand to make everyone refer to the person as ‘she’ because then you aren’t able to say what’s actually going on, and that is a male bodied person is claiming that they are having periods.

I understand that it might be distressing for someone to hear themselves referred to as Male, but the fact is they have a male body and when talking about biological functions it’s important to say when someone is male or female if the biological functions are sex specific.

Bourbons - Why should you be compelled to pretend that you do? Respect for other humans. I'm an atheist but I respect people who believe in God so I don't go rub my beliefs in their faces. I treat them with dignity.

What is biological essentialism and how is it transphobic?
I thought it meant that you didn’t believe you could change sex.