Unintended consequences of birth control

archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/books/99/05/09/specials/greer-fertility.html?scp=10&sq=family%2520planning&st=cse

Germaine Greer - Sex and Destiny - The Politics of Human Fertility.

This gave me the best contraception advice ever and I followed it for life after reading this. She questions taking 24 hour/365 day contraception, when there are about 5 days of fertility and x number of times you have sex on those dates? So 365 days contraception for what, 24 times a year? She talks about natural methods and I learned about this from her. I was successfully not pregnant until the month I tried for son number one on the right day and fell pregnant first time, same again with second child.

Give it a read, history lesson too.

I suppose it is good that there are so many types of contraception around though?

I know exactly what you mean about birth control being pushed on the woman though - after all three of my children were born, the midwife, HV and GP all suggested getting a coil fitted - gave me leaflets, offered to book me in. No, I said, we use condoms. They all gave me funny looks! Perhaps they feel sorry for my poor husband 😉

I think there is truth in what you say ‘ the ‘well, you can’t have everything - you’ll have migraines or you’ll get knocked up, which would you rather?’ type attitude.

I think you said it yourself.

Many women who were young when the pill came out and who wanted sexual freedom complained that they were then expected to be freely sexually available to men.

It is generally left to women to be in control of fertility and don't get me started on side effects.

BUT better than not having it. Control over fertility is vital.

Female sexuality, fertility and reproduction is work. Whether it's what we should look like or the pain we go through to have or not have children.

No, totally with you on this one OP. Back in the day, I found I didn't get on with hormonal contraception - major depression. Then, asking round my friends it became apparent that most of them suffered to one degree or another - from bad depression to "just a bit more weepy and emotional than I would be, but you just put up with it and get on with it..." It struck me that it was a kind of double whammy - as you say, OP, "well, you wanted control of your fertility and there's no such thing as a free lunch", but over and above that, a kind of "well, women are weepy and emotional and unstable anyway, so what does it matter if the pill makes them a bit worse?"

(As a side issue, I've also thought that a hell of a lot of women's "mental illness" is actually a perfectly rational reaction to societally imposed powerlessness and some of the men in their lives being shitty to them.)

I totally understand what you're saying. The sooner they sort out the male contraceptive pill the better! I've been shocked to read how many women have had real problems trying to get medical professionals to take things like coils and implants out of their bodies promptly when suffering horrendous side effects. Completely unacceptable and reading about those horror stories put me right off even giving anything like that a go!

What would you prefer? No contraception?

Personally in my younger days when I was not in a relationship I saw no problem at all in taking on the responsibility of contraception. My life and I controlled it.

In the context of a settled relationship this is a matter for you and your partner to discuss.

No sorry but I just wanted to say I feel what your saying. Hopefully someone more feminst-y will be along soon with the magic description for it.

I think I know what you mean. I feel like it’s an extension of the attitude that women just have to put up with horrendous period related problems, menopause, endometriosis, birth injuries, prolapse, and on and on - all women’s health issues, just put up with it because nobody is very interested in women’s medical complaints. I feel like I’ve worded that badly!

Anyway, I’m currently on a million painkillers and have been in pain since I was 20 weeks pregnant, which was in November 2016. This ongoing shitfest has only just become of interest to the 11th doctor I’ve seen because I have been unerringly persistent about getting things sorted. I had one knobhead of a registrar tell me that it was totally normal to feel “mild discomfort” for up to a few years after giving birth. As I’m on similar meds to a palliative care patient I think we might be a bit beyond “mild discomfort”. It’s a very shitty attitude that women should put up and shut up with pain which comes from women’s health problems.

I feel like I’ve written a load of unintelligible nonsense there but hope you get the gist of it, also hoping someone more coherent comes along and fixes this for us!