Twitter thread that will make you laugh not rage

31 replies

ElenOfTheWays · 04/04/2018 11:18

Women are "describing themselves as a male author would "

www.thepoke.co.uk/2018/04/03/women-describing-like-male-author-funny-revealing/

It's hilarious and accurate.

Original Twitter thread here

mobile.twitter.com/whitneyarner/status/980330317247545349

OP posts:

BlackeyedSusan · 04/04/2018 13:12

Snorted at knobhead...

Datun · 04/04/2018 12:37

"Her voice was unpleasantly audible".

"Her untanned legs stuck out from her skirt like legs".

Ellenripleysalienbaby · 04/04/2018 12:32

Mine:

Her body had been moulded by motherhood. Her belly was still a little too rounded, her breasts hung a little too low, her hips were a little too wide and the lines around her eyes ran a little too deep. Still attractive in a maternal way, but no longer the woman she once was.

Elendon · 04/04/2018 12:21

Me as a younger version of myself:

She looked vulnerable, almost tremulous and why was she with that man? Her back arched beautifully, tempting me to put my palm on it.

Me now as an older woman:

Original poster

ElenOfTheWays · 04/04/2018 12:10

I was inspired to write my own.

She was dainty with delicate features and large doe like eyes. It brought out a protective urge in me. She seemed so fragile.
Until she opened her big northern gob and snapped: "What are YOU gawping at, knobhead?" and threw a chair at me.

OP posts:

Italiangreyhound · 04/04/2018 11:31

I like this one...

“Her large breasts strained against the thin fabric of her t-shirt. The t-shirt had an obscure Star Wars reference on it, which I carefully explained to her, since she had presumably bought it because she liked the colors.”

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