This is not the most important thing ever but what do you think ? Re dress codes

The interesting thing as well is that "dress codes" seek to exaggerate difference.

In my workplace on a normal work day, the male and female "costumes" are very different. On dress down day - the men and women much more wear the same (jeans and a tee). Look at oscars or whatever - the men are all to look the same, presumably to "allow" the women to "show off". It's weird and unnatural TBH. Left to our own devices, most people dress for comfort and the gap between the sexes narrows.

I got really annoyed (silently ) with a couple of years go at work.

Xmas do posters said

Men - smart dress, black tie preferred
Women - dress to impress

Women's evening attire is so uncomfortable, complicated, restrictive, revealing. No pockets so you have to carry stuff or have a silly bag. Hair. Makeup.

Men's is so much more comfy and straigthfroward. "Me, in a suit". Pockets. Normal shoes. No feeling that probably they should have worn special underpants.

Our work do did a survey - how would we feel about not a sit-down but a stand up snacks thing next year.
I said - well fine - but remember lots of women wear very punishing footwear.

No we don't have to - same as men don't have to wear black tie if it says black tie - but let's be honest - most people don't like to stick out like a sore thumb.

I go to lots of formal work events - business attire, lounge suits or black tie are all easy enough to understand. I don’t notice what other women are wearing and I don’t expect they notice what I’m wearing. Of the many inequalities to get your knickers in a twist about, dress codes are not one.

A friend recently had a dress code for her 40th (dresses)

My 40th birthday had a formal dress code.

And how people would react if I always turned up in the same outfit?

They would not even notice.

Thinking of the last 3 very formal events I attended (not that long ago) I can recall 2 particular dresses and that is only because the 2 women in question are very clothes concious, the dresses were very expensive, we had discussed them before the event , they from a particular designer and I fully expect the owners will recycle them as often as I recycle my Vivienne Westwood dress (which is frequently).

Everyone else? I wouldn't notice. No idea what they were wearing.

Based on husbands Christmas dos and the very rare 'event'

Im really pissed off with the dress code bit

Black tie for a man and then some sort of made up rubbish for the woman

So recently in a football stadium the code for women was red or white evening dress for the teams colours

Or its floor length, or cocktail or 20's theme or something

A friend recently had a dress code for her 40th (dresses)

Im not doing it any more...I usually wear my own version of a tux

He said it is harder for women to know what to turn up in

It really isn't.

This has been discussed before and has always struck me as complaining about something just for the sake of complaining - for example posters will usually pitch in that it is impossible to find formal/dressy shoes which are flat or low heeled. Or similar nonsense that one is forced to wear high heels with formal dresses.

It goes both ways. Men are expected to wear suits and ties in a very formal setting. I'm fine with dress codes as long as no one forces me to wear skirts/nylon tights/ high heeled shoes. I suppose a wedding would be a slight exception, I would take the wishes of the B and G into account, if they were having a formal event I would probably wear heels as long as they were reasonably comfortable, and some kind of longish skirt or dress, just out of respect.

Dh looks gorgeous dressed smartly. He has one suit, and one smart shirt to wear with that suit, and one pear of black knee socks to wear with the one pair of plain, smart, black shoes to wear with the suit. He has three different ties, sombre, elegant and flamboyant, to suit the occasion. This is his outfit for weddings, funerals and job interviews.

Me? Do I even need to describe what dressing smartly involves for a woman? And how much more it costs? And how people would react if I always turned up in the same outfit?

I agree with your son and I think things are actually getting worse for women. I’m just after chatting to a male friend and we were reminiscing about the 80s fashion. Adam Ant, Boy George, goths, etc. There was something sexy about men that wore makeup, in those days, but I think it was because they wore it in a different way to women, iykwim. They didn’t wear it to look like women, but to look different. Most of them looked really good in it. I would go out in a trouser suit, short hair and tie, think Annie Lennox, one night, then mini skirt and high heels the next.

It’s all changed now. The line between female and male fashion has become so wide, that it has restricted what they can wear, without being thought of as odd.

I’m going to a wedding soon and will be wearing high, but thick heeled boots, under a long, soft pair of trousers and top. When I’ve been asked what I’ll be wearing and tell people I keep getting told the heel on the boots ‘might be a bit chunky and wouldn’t high heel shoes look better, even though the trousers will hide the heels and I’m recovering from a badly damaged knee! Little hints about ‘treating’ myself to a nice dress. Ffs, I’m 50 and can’t be arsed in high heels and dresses yet I’m still being treated as if I’m odd for not wanting to. I wonder when I’ll be considered old enough to know my own mind? 😒