Is choosing to be a SAHM a feminist decision?

No one made you post on this thread. Why are you posting on it?

Because my views are relevant to radical feminism and the mechanisms of patriarchal capitalism.

So why are you bothered when if people say if you are a SAHM you aren’t a radical feminist?

Because I am weary of assumptions made about me due to the fact I am a SAHP.

Your last post is now saying you are not a radical feminist- so what? What relevance does that have?

You were trying to justify your offensive and sexist comments about women who pay for domestic help on the basis that posters on here who are in that position have repeated the rhetoric which claims a SAHM cannot be a radical feminist.

Even if that were our position (and it is not mine- I have no interest in what feminist label others adopt) your response is wholly illogical. You are disputing the argument that being a SAHM is incompatible with being a radical feminist by throwing out a random and unsubstantiated insult.

The thread referenced radical feminism. I have made my points with reference to radical feminism because that is the subject up for discussion on this thread

No one made you post on this thread. Why are you posting on it?

I have repeatedly said I don't attach this label of radical feminist or any other with regards to feminism, to myself

So why are you bothered when if people say if you are a SAHM you aren’t a radical feminist?

The thread referenced radical feminism. I have made my points with reference to radical feminism because that is the subject up for discussion on this thread. I have repeatedly said I don't attach this label of radical feminist or any other with regards to feminism, to myself. My own personal views are regardless of any categorisation which exists.

Because they have repeated the rhetoric which claims a SAHM cannot be a radical feminist

Why is that such a terrible thing. You are acting like a liberal feminist, why not just own it and call yourself one.

Because they have repeated the rhetoric which claims a SAHM cannot be a radical feminist

I have said nothing of the kind. I could not care less whether a woman is or is not a radical feminist.

Lilting with all due respect I don’t know your DH but I presume he would have been fine at advocating too.

He would have had a lot of catching up to do, knowledge wise. My background from studying and working in education gave me a definite heads up. His background from studying and working in IT also meant his career was more lucrative. Given the same background maybe he could have advocated as well. As I said we cannot divorce context from the decisions we make.

You acknowledge your lack of interest in women who chose to stay at home. Typo omission.

Why am I pushing your buttons lilting when I've clearly stated repeatedly I respect and admire any parent who stays home with kids with additional needs? When I have clearly stated I understand my lack of interest in women who chose to stay home when they could easily work isn't right and is very likely due to an abusive father growing up, which has led me as an adult to have a lack of tolerance to anything I perceive as perpetuating Male supremacy?

Maybe I just need this repeating. Pleased you acknowledge in women who chose to stay at home when they could 'easily work' (in your opinion) is not right.

In addition it's not just me you're attacking. Every woman who has posted they work you've lashed out and accused them of exploiting other women. Every single time.

Because they have repeated the rhetoric which claims a SAHM cannot be a radical feminist. My position is that they can be as easily radical feminist as a woman working in a high status paid position. Simply because we are all affected by the patriarchy. To survive, live to fight another day, in this context, we all make compromises.

Apologies for not yet having RTFT (although ive skimmed! )

I mostly agree with the POV of Bluntness.

My career trajectory has been damaged by not having a SAHPartner. My DH splits our family responsibilities with me 50/50. But because I still have the '50%' I can't put in the hours and the travel that my male colleagues with SAHWs can. I have had DHs of my SAH friends express surprise as to why DH and I are always so busy - with comments like 'well I work FT same as Timtims, and I still manage to do xyz'.

My DH could become a SAHP, but more than a decade ago when we had our DCs it was even less accepted than now ( We knew NO SAHDs, and only know two PT dads now). But now the compromises we've made with both careers have meant that either of us would struggle to support the other to SAH.

Meanwhile the couples we know with a SAH have flourished financially.

I wouldn't swap my independence but feel like I have suffered due to striving for equality in my career/working life.

Funded Nursing Care (FNC) element is paid if a Nursing Home is required ,if you are self funding you are paying the "care"element not the Nursing part .

My shelf stacker mate is a woman by the way (not that it makes much difference).

Why am I pushing your buttons lilting when I've clearly stated repeatedly I respect and admire any parent who stays home with kids with additional needs? When I have clearly stated I understand my lack of interest in women who chose to stay home when they could easily work isn't right and is very likely due to an abusive father growing up, which has led me as an adult to have a lack of tolerance to anything I perceive as perpetuating Male supremacy?

In addition it's not just me you're attacking. Every woman who has posted they work you've lashed out and accused them of exploiting other women. Every single time.

Lilting with all due respect I don’t know your DH but I presume he would have been fine at advocating too.

I have heard a lot of degrading stuff about men not being capable of advocating and raising disabled children, like their mothers can, but they actually can IME. It is the same as women who claim their husbands haven’t a clue what to do with small babies, toddlers, infants etc.....It is simply borne out of low expectations and the men not stepping up rather than not actually being able to do any of this stuff.

It is funny how many of the professionals dealing with disability are male, so they are capable of being the “experts” in the area but they are incapable of doing the day to day work. That is a perception in my opinion, not a reality.

I am not judging you, personally, cold. I don't know your children's carers

Well stop referring to care and service provision as an exploitative industry. It’s not like I had to search for hours to find a none exploitative nursery.

The women (and a few men) who work in the nursery get paid no less than my mate stacking shelves in Sainsbury’s. I can shop there without feeling I’m “exploiting” poorly paid workers.

You may pay for private carers but rarely HCP .

You do if you have to self fund nursing care.

HCP usually refers to Doctors,Nurses,ODPs,Midwives,Paramedic not HCSW/Carers.
You may pay for private carers but rarely HCP .
If someones needs were so complex/great they would qualify for CHC funding for Nursing care which is not the same as a carer.

What a horrific thought process

I'll tell you what is though your iterations that every woman who pays for childcare or domestic help is exploiting them. Aside from it being nonsense I see you focus on "women"

Is it just me who exploited our domestic help? It was a joint decision by me and my husband.

No , not really.Bluntness is quite a forceful poster but she has not posted anything which would make me think she would use such a pejorative term.

I think it is highly likely that you think this way because you come from similar backgrounds. Nothing she said pushes your buttons in the same way. You have your own biases in the same way I have my own.

What a horrific thought process

I agree. I'm pleased you think so.

You can see how the misreading happened in the context of you saying this in the same breath, though, Bluntness:

I displayed a lack of interest in the school mums who didn't work

No , not really.Bluntness is quite a forceful poster but she has not posted anything which would make me think she would use such a pejorative term.

We aren’t talking about HCPs.

Could be, if you are taking about buying in care for families with members that have some additional medical needs.

Lilting I will say it one last time. I do not include parents with kids with additional needs. You need to stop lashing out.

Yes I have nothing in common with women who don't work where I know the family situation. I chose not to spend time with them and am disinterested. Is it right, no, but I am being honest, this does not in any shape nor form mean I think they are losers. What a horrific thought process

Can I ask you to stop judging me for “exploiting” my children’s child carers.

I am not judging you, personally, cold. I don't know your children's carers.

You can see how the misreading happened in the context of you saying this in the same breath, though, Bluntness:

I displayed a lack of interest in the school mums who didn't work.