Is choosing to be a SAHM a feminist decision?

I certainly think SAHMs have a place in the debate on equal rights in the workplace, considering it may force many of them to become SAHMs in the first place. Maternity discrimination is a huge problem at the moment and I'd value the contribution of a SAHM to the debate more than I would my own, as I work full time but am lucky enough not to have been affected by maternity discrimination (I was a student rather than working when I had my child).

Having a man go out and earn for you. Whilst you stay home with the kids and spend his money

It's funny, I certainly don't see my husband that way. I go out and work while he makes sure that DD has a clean space to play, clean clothes, that she eats, that I eat when I get home, that the shopping is done (with our money, what's this "his money" bollocks?!), that she has read her book, done any homework she has, feels comforted and secure and gets to bed on time.

Maybe that's all a lie and when I'm working he's just on constant shopping sprees and spa days with her?

Do you think your choice affects other women? Does it matter if it does?

Bollocks Blunt. Piss off with your 'compromised'.

Maybe every mother should put their child into childcare regardless of whether the child is equipped to deal with it, just so that they will meet your criteria of worthy of being listened to.

There are many reasons why a woman stays at home and not so she can spend 'his' money.

Radfem SAHM here too, my value is so much more than a salary and I think staying at home in order to hopefully raise happy and healthy children is an honour whatever your gender. I volunteer, help the community, grow our food, make our jams, teach the children and I am damn proud to do that. I would also be happy if DH did - I just enjoy it far more than he would...

Just place marking because this is a hobby horse of mine and I want to come back to it later!

I don't think earning power is the most important indicator of wealth by any means, although I loathe the dismissive "wage slave". I do think that the more families conform to the stereotype of mother at home, father at work, the more reinforced that stereotype is, and thus the harder it is to be a non conforming woman. That's not to say its the wrong thing to do of course. Just that we don't make these decisions in a social vacuum. Our choices all go to shaping the society we live in. We just need to stay mindful of that when making and defending them.

I think that's rubbish Bluntness. It's a very unfeminist stance to say that unless you are earning a wage your opinions don't matter. There are all kinds of ways to contribute to a family not just financial. What's so commendable about paying someone else to look after your kids? Probably a poorly paid young woman at that.

I think the undervaluing of women's work is a very bad thing.

Sure uou can, but you've compromised your principles in my view. You're living off your partner. That's it. Even if you don't like it being said. Having a man go out and earn for you. Whilst you stay home with the kids and spend his money.

So sure you can be a rad fem, but not on anything to do with financial independence, paying your way, equal rights in the work place, pensions, equal parenting, or anything else in that sphere

I certainly wouldn't listen to your opinion on the matter. You need to walk the talk on those subjects.

I’m not sure I’m expressing myself right.

I suppose it’s (to me) a bit like someone who’s won the lottery saying “oh I’m not a wage slave”.

Your worth is not based on your monetary value as a wage slave.

This is totally true but it’s a bit more complicated than that. I would say it’s equally as bad (maybe worse?) for a woman’s worth to be based on her ability to attract a rich husband.

Totally not saying anyone on this thread is saying that it is by the way! It’s just that it isn’t really relevant to say that earning money isn’t important if the reason that it isn’t important is that it’s being earned by someone else.

Your worth is not based on your monetary value as a wage slave.

^^this

I was a SAHM and would consider myself a feminist. My partner and I have an equal relationship; split all work and funds.

I have worried about giving my kids a poor role model as our work split tends to be a bit 1950s but it worked for us. DH respected my contribution. I think we were also helped by having best friends who we frequently holidayed with who had the same kind of family set up as us, but the woman was the main earner and the man picked up the lion share of the domestics, so our kids saw that perspective too.

No. It's just a decision that women sometimes have to make. It is one of those consequences of genuinely being a woman that you are even examining this. Your feminist credentials shouldn't ever rest on what you do or don't do for a living. (Actually scrap that - they might if you are a pimp or similar - but certainly not for staying at home to parent your child). They don't rest on what you do or do not earn.

I'm having one of those 'tired-of-all-the-crappy-shit-women-have-to-put up-with' days and feeling very weary. Do you get those?

If you're on Facebook, look for "Mother's at home matter"
Lots of rad fem sahms :)

Yes you can.
No, you aren't damaging anything. Your worth is not based on your monetary value as a wage slave,

As a radfem SAHM (albeit part time now) I don't think it's damaging to the movement and I haven't found any negativity towards me from other radical feminists. I am however in a lesbian relationship which does make a difference from a radical feminist view point. So perhaps partly depends on your relationship?